Fantasy Hockey Mondays: Week Four

When it comes to fantasy hockey drafts, it's dangerous to let your emotions get too involved. We all have attachments to certain players and teams; if you allow that to sway your decision-making, you might end up with a team that looks like this, rather than a team that might be expected to experience a modicum of success.

That said, I admit to certain emotional attachments that I just can't shake. Every year I rank Ed Jovanovski just a little bit higher than I probably should, just because I have fond memories of his time in Vancouver. What can I say, I like the guy.

And it's paying off: with his hattrick this week, Jovo currently leads the Coyotes in scoring with 9 points in 11 games, coincidentally the same number of points in the same number of games as Mike Green. Let's just say that Mike Green tends to get drafted a bit higher than Ed Jovanovski. He's also a +4 on the season, which is a nice switch from his typically terrible +/-. With Shane Doan out of the lineup indefinitely, Jovo will be relied on heavily to provide offense. I'm not naive enough to think that this run will continue, but if he can improve on his numbers from the last couple seasons, I will be thrilled.

Pool One - Office Pool

Team: Aldergrove Awesome

Week Four Result: 8-4-1 Win

A big victory for the Awesome over one of the top teams in the league. More importantly, his office is only a few steps away from mine, putting me in prime gloating territory. Surprisingly, the big wins for me this week came in my goaltending stats, which is a nice switch from the last couple weeks. Ilya Bryzgalov, Jonas Hiller, and Chris Mason managed to get me 4 wins and 0 losses and while their GAA and SV% weren't fantastic, Pekka Rinne torpedoed my opponent's statistics enough that it didn't make a difference.

Offensively, I won both goals and assists thanks to solid performances from Ed Jovanovski, Mason Raymond, Sergei Gonchar, and Steven Stamkos. Really, almost everyone chipped in with a goal or an assist except for Mike Comrie, David Clarkson, and Josh Bailey. I'll be keeping David Clarkson both because he's one of my few sources for penalty minutes and because I'm confident he will break out of his slump, but it's time to say goodbye to Mike Comrie and/or Josh Bailey. And, considering that Matt Cullen is still available in free agency, it's farewell Mike Comrie.

Pool Two - Nucks Misconduct

Team: I Miss Kyle Wellwood

Week Four Result: 4-5-2 Loss

A disappointing loss this week, considering the solid performance from my goaltenders. I got a nice 2 wins, 2,34 GAA, and .935 SV%, with Chris Mason and Jonathan Bernier doing the heavy lifting. It was all moot, as my opponent only got 2 starts from his goalies and forfeited all the goaltending categories anyways. I lost or tied every other category, despite 4 points from Ryan Kesler, 3 points from Stamkos and Wojtek Wolski, and solid powerplay production throughout my lineup. Just not enough consistency, as Burrows, J.P. Dumont, Marek Zidlicky, Matt Taormina, and Tomas Plekanec were all held pointless this week.

Since there are 20 teams in this league, there are very few players available in free agency that are any good whatsoever. Imagine my surprise, then, when Matt Moulson was still on the list. He scored 30 goals last season and, with 2 goals in his last 2 games, he's on pace for 35 goals this season. 30-goal scorers don't grow on trees: only 24 players last season scored 30 or more goals. Getting a potential 30-goal scorer 4 weeks into the fantasy season in a 20-team league is almost absurd. I switched him in for Blake Comeau, who, after a solid start and 8 points in his first 7 games, has only 1 assist in his last 5.

Pool Three - Friends Pool

Team: Emily Carr Echidnas

Week Four Result: 1-8-1 Loss

I don't even want to talk about it. I got soundly whooped by Dustin's Team Awesom (sic). My goalies, including supposed fantasy studs Ilya Bryzgalov and Miikka Kiprusoff, were awful, while he got 3 wins from Jonas Hiller. I got 12 goals, which would have been enough to win or tie any of the other match-ups, but he also got 12 goals. Joe Thornton decided it wasn't wabbit or duck season, it was head season, and got 17 penalty minutes to lead his team to victory in that category. The only category I managed to win was shots-on-goal. Huzzah.

Andrew Alberts Gets Hittin', and I Get Smitten

What else is there to say about this? The last hit on a Russian that got me this pumped was when James Bond finally killed Xenia Onatopp. If this video makes you want to relive last night's triumph, here's the full highlight package.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Red Wings, November 6, 2010

Canucks 6 - 4 Red Wings

I feel like I gushed pretty openly about the Canucks' last game, so this might sound like a retread, but it has to be said: tonight was the best game the Canucks have played all season. Heck, it might be the best I've seen these Canucks play in years. Who wasn't absolutely spectacular tonight? I'm serious. I could pick on the fourth line for being the fourth line, or I could pick on Alex Burrows for not having midseason jump he couldn't possibly be expected to have. Apart from those small weaknesses, the Canucks played a nearly perfect game, and their excellent teamwork helped them part the Red Sea like another pretty great team, Moses and God (they were BFFs). I am thrilled--yes, thrilled--to have watched this game:

• I'm still auditioning to become a regular member of the mainstream Vancouver media, so rampant homerism of this sort will likely be frowned upon, but I think the intensity of my emotional ups and downs tonight may have so terrified my cat she'll never try to sleep on my lap during a hockey game again. Sorry, Zora. You can come out from under the bed now.

• The shots were 21-11 for the Red Wings at the end of the 2nd period, but it didn't come close to telling the story. The Wings were getting shots on net, but they weren't quality shots. The scoring chances seemed a lot more even. The pace of this game was insane. It was like watching an episode of Speed Racer. I pity the fans at tonight's Minnesota-Columbus tilt, where the pace was probably more like an episode of Wacky Races.

• Plus, whatever about the 1st and 2nd. The third period was where the magic happened, like an ellipsis. The Canucks had 23 shots in the final frame. Detroit had 28 in the entire game. I'm not sure if that was a case of tired, old Detroit legs, or the Canucks simply being sweet. Maybe it was both? Sweet old legs? Like Diane Keaton.

• As usual, all three of the Canucks' top faceoff guys were over 50%, with Ryan Kesler leading the way by winning 13 of 19. Malhotra was the star of the defensive zone, however, winning 7-of-9 in front of Luongo. I noticed a peculiar thing about his faceoff strategy: In the defensive zone, he gets down real low, and if he can't get his stick on the puck, he sweeps it back with his glove. Maybe it's the husband in me that noticed this--I know a thing or two about using my hand as a backup plan.

• Originally, I thought Malhotra was just a faceoff guru, but with his two goals tonight, he has solidified himself as so much more than that. He broke out of his funk on the breakaway, netting a shortie that would prove crucial after the Red Wings scored the power play goal less than a minute later. He also scored the Canucks' sixth and final goal to put the game out of reach.

• His linemates were almost as good. The Canucks' third line has been our most complete line throughout this entire winning streak. The Sedins are still waiting on Alex Burrows to get going, and Raymond and Kesler are still waiting on Mikael Samuelsson (who looks like it's finally happening). The third line has nothing to criticize right now. I talked about it on Wednesday, but it was impossible to miss tonight. Raffi Torres was a human wrecking ball out there, hitting recklessly, and downright attacking people behind the net. His work down low in both ends was spectacular. Jannik Hansen was an absolute warrior. I thought he'd broken his ankle after he took a puck to it in the first, but he was back in the second, and he scored the goal that tied it at four and changed the entire flow of the third period. His backchecking tonight was remarkable.

• What do Klaus Teuber and Andrew Alberts have in common? I really like their game. Alberts dumps bodies like Dexter Morgan. His hit on Datsyuk was massive; he knocked back that white Russian so fluidly The Dude would have been proud. He was excellent tonight, finishing at plus-2.

• Also plus-2? Kevin Bieksa. I've turned a drastic corner and suddenly find myself defending Kevin Bieksa. The announcers really like to highlight his mistakes. While he made one or two tonight, there was nothing any more glaring than anyone else, and nothing that can't be countered with the fact that he tied his defense partner for the highest plus/minus.

• I'm going to bring it up every time I can: the Canucks got offense from all three of their top lines. With balanced, regular scoring like this, I think the whole team should apply for Keys to the VIP. 11 guys got points tonight. Points for everybody. More points than a cat on its back, I tell you what.

• Ryan Kesler was given first star honours, and he played fantastically well, but the real star of the game was Alex Edler. He had a goal and an assist, he led all skaters in ice time with over twenty-five minutes, and I noticed him nearly every time he was on the ice. He was making crisp passes, jumping into the rush, and taking guys off the puck. Tonight Edler played like a superstar, and I think it's the first time this season I've thought that about his game.

• I wasn't at the game, but the crowd seemed to love it as much as I did. They were loud in the third period. On a related note, they seem to be Looing a lot less. Has that run its course? If so, why?

• And finally, Roberto Luongo. He was good tonight. That's all there is to say, and it's neither a good thing nor a bad thing. In past years, we could say this team would only go as far as Luongo would carry them. But tonight, the Canucks showed that they're a good enough team to win without Luongo playing all-world. He was good, and even against one of the best teams in the NHL, that's all the Canucks needed out of him tonight.

Let the NHL All-Star Game Stay Meaningless, Showcase the Fun of Hockey For Once

The NHL All-Star Game could be a lot of fun, but the austere soul-searching it annually inspires seems as serious as death. Every year, pundits and demagogues come together during the dog days of hockey to opine about its vast problems and merits. They hem and they haw over its importance, it's entertainment value, and how to get fans and players to take it seriously.

But it's never going to be taken seriously. Look to your left. Any game where that can happen is not a serious game. Despite being populated with NHL hockey players, it's not an NHL hockey game. It can't be, because guys get hurt playing NHL hockey games, and nobody wants to get hurt at this thing. As a result, everybody lightens up and, if we're being realistic, we're all okay with that. An injury during the All-Star game is as meaningless and preventable as an injury during a the tug of war at a church picnic.

People tell me it's a showcase for the NHL game, but it isn't because nobody can be convinced to play their heart out, and that's what every other game is for, anyway. The All-Star Game is a Star Trek convention. Yes, all your beloved characters are there, but nobody's fighting the Borg. If you're hoping for the intensity of the final frontier, you're badly mistaken or, in some cases, completely delusional. The NHL All-Star game is a sideshow.

I'm totally okay with that. Ignore the objections of the hockey Puritans who can't handle simple frivolity, and remember that sideshows can be a lot of fun. Why are we so insistent on players taking the All-Star game so seriously? As far as I'm concerned, everybody takes real hockey games too damn seriously. It's a game. Why can't the All-Star game be a moment of levity for all involved--a way to remind the fans and the professionals that, first and foremost, hockey is just a fun thing to do? Let the game be meaningless, and find a way to highlight fun and showcase the players having it.

So here's my proposition: let the NHL pick the 40 players that go to the All-Star game and announce the rosters a month in advance. Then let the fans vote on two team captains from among these guys. I don't care if they're both from the same team, either. Let it be any two guys. Then, let those players pick a charity to play for and put $500,000 dollars on the line (or some such other figure) if their team wins. Then, before the game, get all these guys onto the ice and let the team captains select their teammates the old-school way. Call a name, give him a jersey, let the other captain pick. Then let the teams play. Minimal preparation, minimal coaching, minimal austerity; just a fun game of pick-up hockey among the best hockey players in the world.

I'd watch that, wouldn't you? I'd definitely watch the guys pick one another. If Crosby and Ovechkin were voted team captains, and Ovechkin picked Malkin? If Henrik was voted team captain and he picked somebody else instead of Daniel? If Joe Thornton got picked last? Mic some guys up. Definitely mic up the draft. Let the players banter with one another, make bargains, argue over who picks first. Let players campaign to be named a team captain for the chance to support and promote their charity. Connect them with moviemaking fans who can make good viral videos. Do it all in the name of fun.

Yes, fun. Let it be fun.

Why Guillaume Desbiens Broke His Hand

Chris Schneider - AP

What's wrong with this picture? On first glance, this picture is great! A Canucks fourth-liner, Desbiens, stepping up to fight Colorado's Cody McLeod to keep the Canucks momentum going in a sterling 3-0 win last night. What's more, Desbiens conclusively won the fight, bloodying McLeod with some solid punches.

And then he left the game with a broken hand.

Take another look at that picture.

Closer.

What in the world is Desbiens' thumb doing inside his fist?! I'm a pacifist and I know better than to do that! Desbiens, on the other hand, is meant to be a competent pugilist with fighting a big part of his resumé for playing on an NHL fourth line. It's simple: "Never make a fist with your thumb inside your other fingers. When you punch this way you will end up breaking your thumb."

Desbiens tucked his thumb under his other fingers in his fist. He broke his hand. There is a cause and effect relation. The only possible reason that I can think of for why he hadn't broken his hand previous to this fight is that he hasn't hit anyone hard enough.

Edit: I just noticed that there's an intriguing theory being bandied about on the Canucks.com forums that Guillaume Desbiens formed a fist in this way and punched Cody McLeod in the helmet in order to guarantee himself an NHL salary while he is on the IR. With Rick Rypien returning from suspension, the theory goes, Desbiens would be worried about being sent down to the Manitoba Moose, where his salary would drop from $550,000 for the year to $55,000.

While I find this theory a bit absurd, it's mainly because I cannot possibly conceive actually injuring myself in order to make more money, especially because it's not guaranteed that Desbiens would be sent down. At the same time, Desbiens is undoubtedly a tougher person than I am. So I offer the following picture of a previous fight Desbiens was in without comment:

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Avalanche, November 04, 2010

Canucks 3 - 1 Avalanche

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say last night's game was the Canucks' most complete effort of the season. The first period alone was perhaps the best road period the Canucks have played in quite some time, as they dictated the play, kept the pressure on while they rolled their lines, opened the scoring (above), won a fight, generated numerous chances, and limited the pressure in their own zone. Concerns about letdowns in the second and third period prove to be unfounded as well, as the Canucks kept up their high level of play--with only the occasional gaffe--all game long. It was highly entertaining, and I am proud to say that I watched this game.

• It was quite nice to see Ryan Kesler find his sweet spot on the power play and net the opening goal. He was the best player on the ice tonight, and it's not often you can say about about the Kesler who travels. His woes on the road are as storied as Wile E. Coyote's. Has he turned a corner? Hopefully. I hypothesize that, if he has, it's because he has a blanket he takes with him everywhere, and it makes every bed feel like his bed. That's always worked for me. That and having my Mom there to tuck me in, no matter where I am. Tousle my hair, Mom. Ha ha, delightful.
  
  
• Considering the proficiency of the Canucks' special teams this season, I'm working on keeping my mouth shut about the removal of Kesler from the second unit. It's a lot easier to do when he scores on the first unit, and the second unit scores later without him. Apart from small lulls, Canucks' special teams have been excellent this season. The Henrik Sedin goal was a prime example. That was some grade-A puck movement. Also grade-A? The paper I'm currently writing on the similarities between the Marxist and Thomist dismissals of justice as a primary virtue and their Aristotelian influence. I am so smart.
  
  
• It's funny, because I thought Henrik and Daniel had a pretty quiet game. When the 60 minutes was over, however, Henrik had the game-winner and Daniel had two assists. His pass to Kesler for the first goal was spectacular.
  
  
• Raffi Torres continues to be a masterful tipper. He's tippier than a game of Jenga played in a canoe. He had four shots tonight, and looks to be brimming with confidence. Seven goals in 12 games will do that to you.
  
  
• I know all three Canucks goals were scored on the powerplay, but, again, we got one goal from each of our top three lines. That is excellent, balanced production.
  
  
• Mason Raymond was incredible tonight. 5 shots, and a ton of quality chances. He didn't score, but he looked fantastic, like going clubbing in an argyle sweater vest.
  
  
• Somebody needs to tell Andrew Alberts that, while the Canucks might have confidence in him carrying the puck up ice, other teams don't. Tonight, just like in the last game, he was the perpetrator of a brutal turnover in the defensive zone that could have been avoided if he'd moved the puck up-ice quickly. Instead, he flaunted his newly spawned self-confidence and held onto it. The Avs got a prime scoring chance. Yes, you're big, so you're quite difficult to knock off the puck, but you're also pretty easy to hit, because you're big. Andrew: move the puck faster.
  
  
• That said, my favorite part of that broken play was when Garrett tried to blame it on Kevin Bieksa. Don't try to ingratiate yourself to me, John Garrett. Anyway, Kevin Bieksa was good tonight. At times I found myself liking his game. I am suddenly aware that this is happening with an alarming frequency. I'm concerned he might be good. What is happening to me?
  
  
• Alex Edler continues to be a rock on defense, but I expect his game to really flourish when Dan Hamhuis comes back. Edler should be able to join the rush a little more and show a little more creativity when he knows Hamhuis is behind him. Christian Ehrhoff is not Dan Hamhuis. Sometimes, watching his and Edler's confusion over who will jump into the rush is akin to watching two guys try to go through a door at the same time.
  
  
• Guillaume Desbiens broke his hand in a fight, and I have two thoughts. My first thought: this happens a lot. Don't you think guys would realize that punching a helmet as hard as you can is a good way to break your hand? I feel like it's obvious. Anyway, my second thought regarding Desbiens' broken hand: meh.
  
  
• Mikael Samuelsson is still drifting through games like some kind of zombie. (Okay, that's an overstatement, but I wanted to link to my favourite Christian rock song ever.) Anyway, he's having trouble finding a rhythm. My advice: relax, Sammy. Eventually, the rhythm is gonna get you.
  
  
• And finally, Cory Schneider is going to be so easy to trade. He was fantastic tonight. 33 saves, one goal allowed. He made it look easy, but this game was anything but. The Avalanche can create offense, and while they may not have had a ton of quality scoring chances, they had some excellent shots from good scoring areas. Schneider was one step ahead of them all night, getting square, taking away the net, and swallowing up the puck. There is still no goaltending controversy. The Canucks simply have two delicious options, like going to a Tim Horton's that is also a Wendy's.
  

Do the Canucks Finally Have a Third Line?

Last night's three goal game for Raffi Torres was just the latest in a long line of bright spots for the Canucks' third line, a unit that, for four games, has been made up consistently of Jannik Hansen, Manny Malhotra, and Raffi Torres. In the first game of the Canucks' current four-game winning streak, Malhotra was the first star, netting the Canucks' third and fourth goals midway through the third period to put the game out of reach. Two games later, it was Raffi Torres opening the scoring with a goal that would wind up being the game-winner. Last night, the line topped two excellent games with a bigger trick, the first hat trick of Raffi Torres' career. Yes, the third line has been very, very good.

It's a welcome change from last season's third line, a unit that typically consisted of Kyle Wellwood, Steve Bernier, and Tanner Glass. While Wellwood had his moments (and we loved him for them), Bernier and Glass spent their time on the third line playing unmistakably like fourth liners. The unit's shifts were unproductive and forgettable. If not for top ten line play from the Canucks' first and second lines, it might have been even more glaring an issue than it was.

It was impossible to overlook in the playoffs. The Chicago Blackhawks showed us that depth across lines is vital for postseason success when they beat us in six games. Our lack of such depth was a major problem going into the offseason.

This problem appears to have been somewhat solved. Over the last four games, the third line has combined for 13 points. For comparative purposes, the Canucks' top line (The Sedins, and, until last night's game, Jeff Tambellini) has generated 9. The third line has been our highest scoring line during this win streak, a sentence that could never have been uttered last season.

But it's more than just offensive contributions; they're also defensively stellar. Over that same four-game stretch, the line is a combined plus-16. The Sedin line is minus-1.

Even separately, Hansen, Malhotra, and Torres have been major contributors at both ends of the ice. Until last night, Jannik Hansen hadn't been on the ice for a single goal against. He leads the team in plus-minus and hits among forwards. Manny Malhotra has been the Canucks' go-to faceoff man, taking draws in all three zones and being a lynchpin on the penalty kill. And Raffi Torres is second only to Daniel Sedin in goals.

The play of the third line is the primary reason the Canucks have won four straight. The Sedin line has been great, but not yet at the level at which they operate with a healthy Alex Burrows. The Raymond-Kesler-Samuelsson line is still struggling to regain last season's form, as Mikael Samuelsson especially is looking a little slower, his shot a little less accurate. Considering that last year's success rested primarily on the play of these top two lines, one would think diminished play from either would make four wins in a row nearly impossible. However, Malhotra, Hansen and Torres are outproducing these issues.