I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Red Wings, January 08, 2011

Canucks 1 - 2 Red Wings (Shootout)

You hate to see a game like this go to a shootout. I did. After 60 minutes of the top two teams in the NHL strutting their excellent puck movement, remarkable defense, and fabulous systems play, suddenly everything that made the game so stellar is taken away and a coin is flipped. Because that's what the shootout is, really: a coin toss,--a crapshoot. So before you go blaming anybody for the loss (i.e. Tambellini, for missing on that breakaway, or Luongo, for getting beat by Hudler), take a deep breath and recognize that this game, like all games decided in a shootout, was a tie with an extra point pulled out of a hat.

Then recognize that, in their sixth games in nine nights, the Canucks still skated away with a point, just as they did in the other five, and just as they did in this season's other two intense games versus these Red Wings. I tell you, if we're lucky enough to see these two teams in the playoffs, I'd cancel Christmas to watch every second of it. I'm serious. I'd watch so freaking hard, much like how I watched this game:

• Jimmy Howard was the game's deserving first star. He made 32 saves, many of the incredible variety. He flatly robbed Henrik and Daniel once each, controlled rebounds, and swallowed up shots like they were merchant ships floating above the nest of the Krakken. Then he stoned all three shooters in the shootout. He stoned them just like Jelly Roll. Howard was out of this world tonight, not unlike another famous Howard in red.

• Were it not for Howard's play, you'd be hearing a lot of talk about the Sedins (or, the Wizards of the Coast, as per @victoriado, brilliantly). They were consistently dangerous tonight, especially on that lob play that they seem to have perfected. I counted about three times that Burrows or Henrik vaulted the puck into the air, only to have Daniel glove it down and start an odd-man rush. There should be a law against lobs that sweet. That's right. A Lob Law.

• By the way, we've seen that play a lot this year. We take for granted the way the Sedins innovate ways to create offense. They're always scheming, from their set faceoff plays to the slap-pass to these lobs. I guess that's what happens when you share a duplex with a perma-linemate.
  

• Chris Osgood is nearing forty, but you'd never know it. Not because he plays like a younger man, but because he looks like a younger man. Osgood didn't play tonight, but the HNIC producer couldn't stay away from shots of him sulking in the hallway, and he looks about sixteen. He also looks a lot like Ian Walker. Think Bif Naked is the victim of a brilliant switcheroo? Probably. Foxy celebrities marry athletes, not writers. Who does Walker think he is? Arthur Miller?
  

• Keith Ballard had a fantastic game tonight. He was named the game's second star, which was enough to earn him about a whole two extra minutes of icetime. Not too shabby. Though he was only credited with 3 hits, one of the hits looked like this. That's good for an extra minute right there. Ballard had a solid overall game. He rushed the puck out of his own zone well, played physical, and rang a shot off the post that might have put Vancouver over the top. If we get this kind of play regularly from our fifth defenseman, we'll probably do all right.

• Ballard didn't actually deserve the second star, though--Kevin Bieksa did. Juice played 24 minutes, seemingly all of them engaged in a cross-check fight with Tomas Holmstrom. Despite battling the big jackass all night, Bieksa managed to get off five shots, attempt another five, block three, and collect three takeaways. Apparently, like the marriage of Stanley and Stella Kowalski, Kevin Bieksa is better when he's fighting.

• Both teams were clearly exhausted tonight, but I really recognized it in the Canucks. Mason Raymond and Jeff Tambellini, who normally fly, instead did whatever it is turkeys do to get around. The rest of the Canucks, too, seemed to lack jump, especially in the third. After limiting the Red Wings to less than ten shots in both the first and second, they Canucks looked like they just ran out of the steam. This is a team known for their ability to #WinDaTurd, but they couldn't keep pace with Detroit in the third period tonight. Detroit rattled off seventeen shots and had the Canucks scrambling in the defensive zone for most of the final frame. Were it not for the stellar play of Roberto Luongo, I don't think this one would have gotten to overtime. Like Kanye West, the Canucks were all over the place, but like Mike Myers, Luongo seemed desperate to salvage the point.

• Jim Hughson with the Lord of the Rings reference of the night: "Helm couldn't smeagol by him along the boards." How does one smeagol, exactly? I've never heard this term before in my life. I take this to mean Helm tried to bite Alberts's finger off.

• Though the Canucks' powerplay only scored one time (above) in five opportunities, they looked absolutely awe-inspiring at times. At times the Sedins threw the puck around. At times Kesler tried to muscle the puck through. At times, Christian Ehrhoff showed why he's the motor of the back end, zipping around the zone like Ben Stiller only wished he could have. It was fun to watch.

• @GutsMcTavish24 observed that Todd Bertuzzi still has moments of soft perimeter play. Almost immediately upon tweeting that Bertuzzi wasn't "willing to sacrifice," DJ Dave threw on Foreigner's "Cold as Ice." How he knew to do that is beyond me.

• I'm interested in Ryan Kesler only taking 12 faceoffs. He won 6, but for a guy who's top ten in the circle, you'd think he'd take more. Any theories? Here's mine: Kesler is the best skater on the team, and Vigneault wanted to start him on the fly.

• Speaking of faceoffs, after narrowly gaining his coach's trust in the faceoff circle, Alex Bolduc is clearly back to square one. A few games ago, he was taking eight faceoffs. Problem was, he lost all eight. Tonight he took two, and he won them both, but do you know who else took two? Mason Raymond. Bolduc's got his work cut out for him; it'll take some time to regain that trust.

• Manny Malhotra, on the other hand, was a faceoff machine, and in a playoff-atmosphere game like this, it was impossible not to notice. He went 18-for-28, but it seemed like he never lost, especially in the defensive zone, where he was 13-for-18. Red Wing centermen tried everything to combat his technique; they seemed highly irritated with how low he was getting. Nothing worked. Like a guy who wants to be startin' something, Malhotra was too low to get under.

Random Oddity: Alex Edler has Taken 2 Faceoffs?

It's remarkably easy to spend an excessive amount of time clicking around NHL.com's stat pages. While it doesn't quite reach the addictive qualities of Wikipedia and is miles away from TV Tropes, a puckhead like me can easily see time disappear faster than every contestant's hopes of winning on Ninja Warrior.

Today, however, I stumbled across something odd: Alex Edler has taken two faceoffs. In fact, he is one of only three defencemen in the NHL to record more than one faceoff this season.

Now, before you all rush to the message boards and declare Alex Edler to be the Canucks new fourth line centre, a couple caveats. First, that's stupid. And second, he apparently lost both faceoffs.

But I'm more interested in knowing how it happened. When a centre is waved out of the faceoff circle (which can happen for a multitude of reasons), he's normally replaced by a winger. There are many reasons for this, but it should suffice simply to say that defencemen just aren't meant to take faceoffs; let's say it's against their nature. If the second player taking the faceoff also commits a faceoff violation, the team gets a 2-minute bench minor for delay of game, so you simply won't see several players waved out until a defenceman is the only one remaining to take the draw.

The only occasion I can think of when a defenceman might be called in is if the team is defending a 5-on-3 powerplay with one forward and two defencemen. Oddly enough, the one record I could find in the Canucks season so far of Edler taking a faceoff it was in their unfortunate 6-2 loss to the Minnesota Wild in October where there were no 5-on-3 powerplays for the Wild. In fact, the faceoff was in the offensive zone. To make things even more confusing, the Canucks were on the powerplay at the time with both Henrik Sedin and Ryan Kesler on the ice.

So is it just a clerical error? Did someone write down #23 instead of #33? Well, yeah, probably. Unfortunately, I couldn't track down the other game that he took a faceoff in to see if it too was a typo or a mistake. Given the vital importance of this stat, I enlist you, the fine Bulies reading this, to track down that faceoff!

Merry Christmas from Pass it to Bulis

It's Christmas Eve and I'm with my wife's family in Redmond, WA. "Die Hard 2" has been watched, stockings have been stuffed, and the cinnamon rolls for tomorrow morning's breakfast are in progress right now. As for me, I'm left to ponder the Canucks Christmas gift to their fans, a marvelous 7-3 victory over the Columbus Blue Jackets that featured arguably the first example of true Sedin dominance this season. What is truly astonishing is that it came in a game where they played just over 15 minutes each.

With that performance, the Sedins put themselves fourth in the league with 43 points each. Henrik is first in the league in assists with 35 and Daniel is fourth in the league in goals with 18. Against all odds, the Sedins have been able to continue the elite level of play they established last season.

On top of that, Ryan Kesler is immediately behind Daniel in goals, with 17. Kesler is playing some of the best hockey of his life going into the Christmas break with 13 points in his last 8 games and is seventh in the league in faceoff percentage at 59 percent. The only Canuck ahead of Kesler in faceoff percentage is Manny Malhotra, who sits at second in the league at 62.8%. Even Henrik Sedin is in the top 30 at 53.9%.

As a team, the Canucks are leading the NHL in faceoff percentage by a wide margin. They're at 57.2%, with the second-place Sharks at 53.6%. Sometimes those percentages don't always illustrate the Canucks' dominance effectively. To put it another way, the Canucks have won 1141 faceoffs and lost 854. On a game-to-game basis, that comes out to 35 wins to 26 losses, 9 more faceoff wins per game. That's huge.

The Canucks have lost only one game in regulation out of the last 13, with a record of 10-1-2. They lead the Western Conference in goal differential at +26. A big reason for that is their special teams: the powerplay is back to first in the league at 24.4% and the penalty kill is fifth at 85.5%. And after a rough start this season at even-strength, the Canucks are tied for 6th with Detroit for team +/-. Every single aspect of the Canucks' game is clicking and the Canucks have firmly established themselves as one of the elite teams in the NHL, with a 20-8-5 record. They lead the Western Conference in point percentage, getting 45 points out of a possible 66.

Basically, it's a good time to be a Canucks fan. Merry Christmas, Canucks fans. And while all the wonderful statistics above are surely present enough for our wonderful Bulies, make sure to read these two Christmas-themed posts if you missed them:

Holiday Gift Ideas for the Vancouver Canucks on Your List

Daniel's Worst Christmas - An Original Holiday Tale

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Blues, December 20, 2010

Canucks 3 - 1 Blues

This was one of those games the Canucks had to win. No, it wasn't a must-win (I hardly believe in them), but it was a road game against a beleaguered and bruised Blues team, for whom three of their top three offensive weapons weren't playing. And, sadly for St. Louis fans, the injuries to David Perron, TJ Oshie, and Andy Macdonald have made the St. Louis offense about as threatening as the Disney Channel. It was apparent early in tonight's game that the only Blues to watch out for were Alex Steen and Blu Cantrell (who is totally due for a comeback).

Even motivation wasn't a factor, as the same basic Blues team had come to GM Place two weeks ago and handed the Canucks their only regulation loss in December--a game Vancouver probably had no business losing. These are the games you should win, and thankfully, the Canucks did win. And, just like the time my friend was getting picked on by bullies, and I probably should have stepped in except that I'm a coward, I watched:

• Congratulations to Aaron Volpatti on his first NHL goal (above). You know he's stoked about it, primarily because of the high-pitched squeal he emits after potting it. Listen for it at the 0:07 mark--Whitney Houston wishes she could still hit that note.

• The Canucks are now 6-1-1 since the blessing of Head Poke Kid. This is an unprecedented display of supernatural power. Despite being blessed by a superior deity, even Adam and Eve couldn't stay good for this long.

• I thought the fourth line played a solid game tonight. Tanner Glass is always solid (except in Scrabble, where he will soon be soundly trounced), but Alex Bolduc and Aaron Volpatti were on their game as well. The line generated a goal, a couple other scoring chances, and played defensively solid enough that Alain Vigneault was comfortable giving them icetime while protecting a one-goal lead in the third period. In fact, no member of the trio had less than eight minutes. I've been especially impressed with Volpatti's restraint in his two games. You know he's licking his chops for his first big NHL hit and/or fight, but the Canucks have been playing with leads since he got here. Good on him for knowing when isn't the right time. I have a theory that it's a constant message from the bench, but you still need mature players to buy into a message of composure, and the Canucks appear to have a roomful of such players.

• While you would be correct for attributing much of the opening goal to the thunderous hit of Tanner Glass, let's be sure to give full credit to Alex Pietrangelo for confusing himself with the Venus De Milo. Had he remembered that, unlike the Venus De Milo, he is neither protected by a velvet rope, nor without arms, I imagine he would have moved the puck a little faster. Unfortunately for him he didn't, and like the Gummi Venus De Milo, he was an irresistible target.

• Blues fans might be forgiven for being a bit upset with the referees. The fans were on the zebras all night for missed calls, especially after St. Louis was hit with a steady stream of penalties in the first. Then, on two separate occasions, referees ran beautiful pick plays for Vancouver--one leading to a scoring chance for the Canucks, and other negating one for the Blues. I predict lingering animosity towards anybody in refereeing stripes. If I lived in Missouri and worked at a Foot Locker, I'd call in sick tomorrow.

• Ryan Kesler, whose wife gave birth to a baby boy just the other night, claimed he'd be playing on adrenaline and Red Bull. Well, nuts to any theory of exhaustion: he scored the game-winner on a wrist shot so quick Jaro Halak didn't even have time to fan on it, and he had a game-high seven shots on net. Kes, how many Red Bulls did you drink? Don't be surprise if his post-game interview is reminiscent of a Corky Romano press conference.

• I love Jannik Hansen. He can play on any line, and his forechecking is more Crazy/Beautiful than the Kirsten Dunst movie of the same name. I'm always amazed at the way he fools opposing puckhandlers into thinking he's coming on the wrong side. He's constantly knocking pucks off sticks. On one penalty-kill, he ate up valuable time poking the puck away from multiple Blues, then when they finally got away from him, he turned on the jets and was there to break up their entry into the offensive zone. Hansen is so hot right now.

• If you're wondering why Henrik and Daniel Sedin went pointless tonight, I'd take a look at the faceoff numbers. Henrik had a mediocre 6-for-13 night, but he went 2-for-8 in the offensive zone. On the plus side, Manny Malhotra had another strong night, winning 13-of-20. Alternate Captain Mal is now the NHL's top faceoff guy, one-tenth of a percentage point better than Washington's David Steckel. By the by, Alexandre Bolduc went 3-for-3 in the faceoff circle for the second game in a row. Well, there you go. He may have found a way to earn more icetime.

• It's time we gave some credit to the second power play unit. The Canucks have scored 10 power play goals in the month of December, and four of them have come from the second five. Considering how heavily the Canucks lean on the first unit, those are pretty decent numbers. Their goal tonight was a nice piece of insurance, as Jeff Tambellini broke his minor slump on a nice feed from Mikael Samuelsson. Also a nice piece of insurance? J-Lo's 27 million dollar policy on her own butt.

• Speaking of the second power play unit, Keith Ballard is no longer on it. In fact, the return of Christian Ehrhoff has spelled a major reduction in minutes for Hips. He played only 14:47 tonight, but don't feel bad for him: considering what he gets paid for under fifteen minutes of work, his hourly salary should make you feel bad about yourself.

• Shifting our focus to the enemy, let's give some credit to Eric Brewer, who had seven blocked shots tonight. Those are Manute Bol numbers. The way he was amassing blocks, you'd have thought he was going for a Tetris.

• And finally, did anyone else catch the furious lasagna eater right behind Alain Vigneault at the beginning of the second? Obviously, nobody looks particularly classy when they're eating, especially as captured by Sportsnet's HD camera, but this guy was going to town on his stadium meal. Clearly, he was confused about which Italian staple food he was eating, because he was devouring his lasagna like a slice of deep-dish pizza. I've seen less voracious eating from the extras in zombie movies.

Skeeter's thoughts:

• Kesler didn't just have 7 shots tonight; he had an additional 5 shots blocked and 1 missed shot. That's a whopping 13 attempted shots, dwarfing the next closest Canuck, Mikael Samuelsson, who had 9 attempted shots, 4 of which missed the net. Additionally, Kesler has now tied Daniel Sedin for the team lead in goals with 16 and he has more goals this season than Dany Heatley, Jarome Iginla, Ryan Getzlaf, and, of course, Ilya Kovalchuk. That $5 million dollar contract doesn't look so bad right now.

• The Blues had over twice as many hits as the Canucks, but it never seemed like the Canucks were losing the physical battle. It helps when the hits the Canucks did make were super-effective, like Tanner's emasculation of Pietrangelo that led to Peppermint Volpatti's first ever NHL goal.

• Speaking of, Volpatti needs some lotion immediately to soften up those hands. He had the entire right half of the net to shoot at and was extremely lucky to slide his shot under Halak's pads. He had another golden opportunity in the third period off a slick pass from Alexandre Bolduc, but the puck clanked off his stick like it belonged to Curt Blefary.

• Raffi Torres continues his slide. He may have logged a point on Kesler's goal, but let's face it, that goal was all Kesler. He played a mere 10:55, barely more than the fourth line, and didn't see any time on the powerplay. It appears that Burrows has taken his spot on the second powerplay unit while continuing to kill penalties. If it wasn't for Raymond being out with a broken thumb, Torres would be on his way to the press-box.

• I love Jannik Hansen. If I had lady-parts, I would want to have his babies.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Lightning, December 9, 2010

Canucks 4 - 5 Lightning (OT)

So I don't think the Tampa Bay Lightning realize they were supposed to treat this game like a ceremonial faceoff: show up, smile for a photo, then stand back while Henrik Sedin picks up the puck and hands it to the Queen. It should have been fairly simple. Instead, the Lightning came out trying to win, and did, which I found completely classless. Somebody needs to delicately tell them they ruined a fabulous night. I watched this game:

• A lot of people are going to want to pin this loss on Cory Schneider. Let them. Ignore the pundits eager to criticize his infrequent usage, eager to pin this on coaching and continue to innocently plant the seeds of a goaltending controversy. The Canucks outplayed the Lightning and needed a few stops to make sure the final score reflected that. If Luongo never gets a pass (and he never does), then let it be so for all Canuck goaltenders. Schneider didn't look so good on a few of these goals; he needs and has the capability to be better. So what if it had been nine games since his last start? He was slotted, at the season's outset, to start every fourth or fifth game. With a nine-game break, he actually only missed one start. Players miss starts. They're still expected to be good when they get back in. Schneider did make a couple of very impressive saves, including a brilliant toe kick early in the first period that made me think, maybe, he was going to have Stamkos's number. It was not meant to be.

• Steven Stamkos is pretty good at hockey, don't you think? If I was picking teams, and he was one of the guys waiting to be picked for some reason, I'd pick him pretty early on. Stamkos had 3 points last night, including the game-winner on an incredible one-timer. The last time I saw a shot that unstoppable, I ignored the desperate pleadings of everyone at my intervention and I drank it.

• How to explain this loss? I'll tell you what happened: The Lightning saw Brian Burke in attendance, and assumed this was a winnable game. Zing.

• How badly did the Canucks miss Christian Ehrhoff? Ehrhoff facilitates more breakouts than the grill at McDonald's, and Vancouver could have used him on more than a few clunky-looking rushes. Realizing the importance of his contributions for the first time, I spent the whole night humming Big Yellow Taxi. The Hoff was especially missed on the powerplay, where the five-man unit was sorely lacking in a guy who does what he does. Dan Hamhuis, his replacement, did different things, and unfortunately, those things were counterproductive.

• Alain Vigneault would be forgiven for bumping Kevin Bieksa to that top special teams unit. Bieksa is a good puckhandler, and nobody on the Canucks pinches along the boards better. But I wouldn't recommend it. Bieksa's shot isn't overly threatening; his presence would allow defenders to shade off of him and attack the open passing lanes this unit exploits so well. Rather, this might be Keith Ballard's best opportunity to show what he can do. His end-to-end rush that resulted in the game-tying goal was, while a bit of a softie, an impressive display of offense and skating from a defenseman who has yet to fully convince his coach of his skill level. Ignore the terrifying fact that Cory Schneider has as many points as he does; Ballard's been exploding out from behind the net for a few games now in a way that only Christian Ehrhoff could emulate. What other Ehrhoffian traits does he possess?

• Andrew Alberts' return to the lineup coincided with a suspicious upstick in team hittiness. The Canucks had 23 hits to Tampa's 13. My theory: Alberts is an instigator of violence, akin to Mookie from Do the Right Thing. Keep him away from Brooklyn, trash cans, and Italian restaurant windows.

• The Markus Naslund retirement ceremony was a thing of beauty, and done with penultimate class, but who expected Nazzy to talk for that long? We've come to expect brevity from him. Instead, we discovered that Markus Naslund is, like any other retired father, prone to rambling. That said, his reunion with the Vancouver fans still seemed much too short. We needed a left winger last night. He should have just played.

• Best tie of the night goes to former Canuck goaltender Dan Cloutier. Daniel suggested Alain Vigneault was also sporting some pretty spiffy neckwear, but my wife insisted, "Cloutier never won anything; let him have this one."

• Mason Raymond's absence was felt yet again. Even when he's not scoring, he's a threat to do so, and it gives Ryan Kesler a bit more space to work with. Kes was going full tilt in the opening frame, but once the Lightning realized he was doing it alone, they smothered him like an only child. Related: Kesler never gets through with those bullish sprints up the middle, but I hope he never stops.

• The Canucks won 64% of faceoffs, led by Manny Malhotra winning 14 of 19, including 9 of 10 in the neutral zone. Henrik went 11-for-19 and Kesler 11-for-16. The dirty underbelly of this stat? The Canucks only won 5 of 12 in the defensive zone, thereby failing to take advantage of their faceoff superiority by giving up possession on their defensive zone starts too often. Alex Bolduc lost all three faceoffs he took, by the way.

• Food for thought: Manny Malhotra finished minus-1 with a game-high 3 giveaways, and only won 1 defensive zone faceoff. He may have scored a goal, but you'd have to call this a bad game for him. As the Canucks' defensive center, he didn't do the things he's in the lineup to do.
  

• Spend a shift or two watching Raffi Torres. He makes some bizarre decisions with and without the puck. He makes cross-ice passes that suddenly end promising odd-man rushes. He puts himself out of position to make needless (albeit sweet) hits. In one instance, he tried to one-time a puck that was bouncing like Li'l Bow Wow on roller skates. My favourite Torres moment: when he sat down in the box after a first period penalty, the camera caught a nearby lady in a Bertuzzi jersey (with a Degrassi haircut) give him an amorous eyebrow raise. You know what they say about a guy with big eyes.

• Ron Maclean still thinks it's Mardi Gras. During the first intermission, he talked about how Guy Bocher doesn't focus enough on threesomes. Not everyone is into your kink, Maclean.

• I actually really enjoyed the broadcast team last night. Mark Lee's vocabulary was incredibly entertaining, and Weekes is steadily improving as a commentator. My wife: didn't Kevin Weekes used to play goalie for the Canucks? Us: Kind of.

• Before you lament the lost point, consider that the Canucks made an impressive comeback to get one. Furthermore, consider that comeback was led by two distinct instances of Wizardous Sedinerie. As the broadcast team showed Henrik's goal (above) is scored on a shot so accurate it bent the space-time continuum.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Ducks, December 08, 2010

Canucks 5 - 4 - Ducks (Shootout)

My favourite thing about come-from-behind victories is the following day's media coverage. Despite a Canucks' victory, articles are still overwhelmingly negative, because the journalists have pre-written pieces about a Canucks loss. When it becomes a win, they hold their tone. They'll claim it's because the Canucks shouldn't be in a position to need a desperate comeback, but I suspect it's because their workload just doubled with all the late revisions, and they're pissed. Late comebacks of this sort force them into a corner where they have to majorly overhaul their story and still meet their deadlines. As Iain MacIntyre tweeted, last night's outcome forced him to hammer out 800 words in about 35 minutes. Good thing he's a pro.

I'd like to take this moment to welcome our new readers from Canucks Hockey Blog, where PITB's popular I Watched This Game is now being cross-posted. Here's how we do it:

• Putting aside my massive Canuck bias, I do think the universe screwed Curtis McElhinney out of what would have been only his 11th career win in 5 NHL seasons. He played well enough to get it, and I'm pretty sure the rule in the NHL is that the play is blown dead when a goaltender gets hit in the mask, especially when he's bleeding all over the place. I felt like Daniel Sedin's goal, which came after Christian Ehrhoff's high slapshot broke the McElhinney's face, shouldn't have counted. That said, and this is in poor taste, it can now be safely said that Daniel Sedin is literally out for blood.

• Ryan Kesler was the night's first star, and for the second game in a row, he was clearly the best Canuck forward. His powerplay goal supports my controversial theory that he's the engine of the Canucks' top unit. His game-tying goal (above) was ugly, but it exhibited the high level of effort Kesler puts out every night. No wonder he made a baby.

• Let's talk about Jeff Tambellini, the plucky, manic, little Port Moody forward. Tamby scored his 5th goal of the season last night, along with the shootout winner on a beautiful, sudden snapshot. It goes without saying that Tamby is a goal-scorer; his goals per game average is .42, which puts him third on the Canucks behind Ryan Kesler and Daniel Sedin. Tambellini contributes defensively, too. He had five hits to lead all Canucks forwards, the fourth game in a row that he's done that. One of those hits was a brilliant backcheck, an Anaheim rush where Tambellini came all the way from behind the goal line to knock the Duck forward off the puck before he even reached the Canucks' blue line. I'm with Iain MacIntyre; Tamby's an NHLer.

• The Ducks had about six or seven just crazy, blatant offsides, most courtesy of an overeager Bobby Ryan. Seriously, it was like he built a crappy time machine, and was living about three seconds in the future. Not since Bob Saget's NSFW rendition of the Aristocrats has a man been so consistently offside.

• The penalties in this game wreaked brief havoc on Canucks units and my fragile psyche in the third, as Tanner Glass took shifts on both the first and second lines. I broke a lamp. I nearly called 911. But, thankfully, he never got on the third line, so it all worked out.

• I think the Canucks really miss Andrew Alberts. He averages 15:30 of physical, hitty hockey, and without him, the Canucks just aren't as big. Consider that, after he missed the game against the Blues--the first game he'd missed all year--we suddenly started hearing about the Canucks lack of grit. It might have been an issue last night as well, but thankfully, Anaheim/Vancouver games are always bloodthirsty, physical affairs. These teams hate each other like cats hate dogs. Or other cats. Or humans. You know what? Cats are jerks.

• Daniel and I often argue about Kevin Bieksa, but there's no dispute over Bieksa's fighting ability. He can chuck 'em. He is the last Canuck I would ever fight. I suspect Aaron Voros now feels similarly.

• The best Shorty & Garrett banter moment follows. Garrett, dubious of a Christian Ehrhoff penalty call: "Ehrhoff's saying, 'who's holding whom?'" Shorty: "You really think Ehrhoff is saying that?" That'll teach you to put words in Ehrhoff's mouth. Whom? English is his second language!
  

• Keith Ballard's minutes finally went up, as he played 17:19, including a tasty 1:45 of powerplay time. Let us congratulate Alain Vigneault for having both Kevin Bieksa and Aaron Rome in the lineup and resisting the temptation to give them a single second of powerplay time. You've turned a corner, AV.

• Correction: Aaron Rome got 15 seconds. I trusted you, AV.

• Anyway, I thought Keith Ballard had a great game. I especially liked the way he was skating the puck out of his own end. Remembering how sluggish his legs were in the preseason, it was great to see him beating forecheckers with his speed.

• This one should have been a laugher (the Canucks outshot the Ducks by 40 to 20), but there were two factors that kept this close. First, Anaheim blocking shots (they blocked 21), and second, Luongo not blocking shots. Both trends were unfortunate. But after you rag on Luongo for a few softies, remember to give him credit for his shootout performance. Before last night, he hadn't stopped a shootout attempt all season, leading to two skills competition losses. Last night, he stopped them all, and we won. Coincidence? No. It's a causal element.

• Ryan Getzlaf played just under thirty minutes last night. That's a ton of ice time, considering he's a forward. I'll tell you why Ducks coach Randy Carlyle has to do this: his defense-corps are not very good at starting the rush, and only the Ducks' star forwards can create offense from their pitiful zone starts. The Canucks did a good job of exploiting this, too. They were turning the puck up ice faster than I've ever seen them, even gleefully dumping it in because the Anaheim d-corps was just going to turn the puck over anyway.

• How do I know the puck spent an inordinate amount of time in Anaheim's zone? Offensive zone starts. The Canucks took 21 offensive zone faceoffs, and only 13 in the defensive zone. Kesler and Malhotra won 8 of 11 in their own zone, but Henrik Sedin won the night, breaking his brief faceoff funk with a 15-for-24 showing.

• And finally, a word about Henrik Sedin. His inclination towards passing the puck in traffic has made him fairly predictable, don't you think? He needs to be a little more surprising. Here's what you do, Henrik. Next time you're in a fight along the end boards, lick the defender's cheek. No one will expect that.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Blues, December 5, 2010

and Daniel "Skeeter" Wagner

Canucks 2 - 3 Blues

Well, the Canucks lost. We don't even need to turn on the radio, or open the newspaper (or, God forbid, go to the Canucks.com forums) in order to know what the fickle fanbase is saying. They are saying: drat. And also much worse things. Trade Bieksa. Fire AV. Send Rome back to the press box. Women and children first. Burn the photo albums. Eat the living.

But before we start clamoring for our pound of flesh, let's be honest: it would take more than one pound to satisfy this many people. Instead, let's follow the lead of this season's Vancouver Canucks, and keep a level head. Two teams played tonight. One team won. Incidentally, the other team lost. Unfortunately (for our wives, who now have to deal with mopey husbands), we watched:

• When the Canucks lose, people blame Bieksa. He is easy to blame, like the kid that doesn't speak English. To that I say: poppycock. Bieksa does speak English; don't blame him. He had a few shaky moments, but Juice played 23 minutes, and in that time, he was even, with a goal (above), 6 hits, and 6 blocked shots.

• Obvious point: the Canucks were missing Mason Raymond tonight. They missed him more than I miss my G&L ASAT Classic Semi-Hollow when I'm away from home. His bout with the flu moved Jannik Hansen up to the second line, where he was usual pesterly self, scoring the Canuck's first goal by simply going hard to the net and keeping his eyes on the puck and stick on the ice. But his presence on the second line meant his absence was felt in the bottom-six.

• Alex Steen may have scored twice tonight, but Ryan Kesler was the best forward on the ice. He and Jannik Hansen were clearly on their games. Unfortunately, the rest of the Canucks forwards were not. It's not that they were terrible, they just weren't good. Kesler, on the other hand, shot like Nicolas Cage in Con Air, won faceoffs like Nicolas Cage in Face/Off, and dangled like Nicolas Cage in his unreleased sex tape (we assume). Unlike Nicolas Cage, he was quite good.

• Seriously, Kesler was incredible in the faceoff circle tonight. He won 13 and lost 2. Not to be outdone (although he slightly was), Manny Malhotra won 17 and lost 5. Again, he was primarily used in the defensive zone, where he went 12-for-14. Henrik had his second consecutive sub-par evening, going 8-for-17. The Sedins weren't bad tonight, but you've got to think that winning possession only 5 out of 11 times they started in the offensive zone cut down on their chances.

• I have a bone to pick and a few to break. When a colour guy claims the puck beat the goalie but not the post, he is wallowing in ignorance. The goaltender tends the vacant area inside the posts; he does not tend the posts. He is, in fact, a netminder, as he only minds the net. The net is attached to the post; it is not the post. The post is a post. This is to say that the goaltender was not beat. If the puck goes past the goalie and into the end boards, nobody says, he beat the goalie, but not the end boards. Tip: if it doesn't count as a shot on net, it doesn't need to be saved.

• On the plus side for the broadcast team, Shorty is awesome. I loved when he started complaining that the instigator is never called anymore after Coliacavo cross-checked Ballard in the face in retaliation for a hip check. Shorty: is a cross-check not an instigation? Garrett: It's a cross-checking penalty. Shorty: Is a cross-check not a way to instigate a fight?

• That said, this is the second game in a row where Ballard has been cross-checked in the face. Luongo may have a head made for poking, but Ballard has a face made for perpendicular stick shafts.

• Not to question AV's coaching, but I have a few questions, vis-a-vis, AV's coaching. First, what's up with Keith Ballard? He was plus-2 and had 1 assist tonight in his usual 13 minutes of ice time. Second, what's up with Keith Ballard's minutes? He should play more, considering he was on the ice for both Vancouver goals and none of St. Louis's. Third, what up with that? Is this because he fell down once? I fall down all the time. Life doesn't reduce my minutes..... does it?

• It doesn't, does it? I mean, seriously, I'm freaking out.

• If you're looking for someone to blame, look to the E section of the Canucks' roster. The Ehrhoff/Edler pairing were both minus-2 in a tight game. Both looked out of sync tonight. On a good night, they're going to register more than 3 shots between them. We noticed their powerplay work was a bit off, as their timing on pinches down the boards was creaky, and it lost zone possession on a few crucial instances. In fact, if you're ever wondering where to start on the statsheet, look to Christian Ehrhoff's plus/minus. It's his whole game; he whistles up and down that stat line. He's always on the ice for goals--you just hope they're for the Canucks.

• Dan Hamhuis had an iffy game as well. He had five shots blocked. It goes without saying your defenders need to get their shots through. But we said it anyway. We are a team of Mavericks. Skeeter is the consummate Maverick.

• More blame could go to the Canucks powerplay, which was 0-for-5, but the real reason the Canucks lost? They didn't #WinDaTurd. You see, locked in a tie going into da turd, winning da turd would have, ergo, won da game.

• We were hoping Brad Winchester would have a bad night and be responsible for a goal or something, so we could make the following joke: Winchester is bad at keeping out goals. Also, zombies.

• So it turns out I fall down all the time because I'm dying. You've won this round, life.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Sabres, November 16, 2010

Canucks 3 - 4 Sabres (OT)

It's hard to be too bummed out about the Canucks' overtime loss to the Sabres last night, especially after they clawed their way back from 3-1 down going into the third period just to send it to overtime. Granted, it would have been nice to skate away with two points, but at least they got one. They've picked up 5 of a possible 8 points on this road trip, and they're in a good position to make this a successful journey east. A win in Pittsburgh tomorrow night would make it 7 of 10 points. But enough about the future; I Watched This Game, like the U.S. Republican Party, is rooted entirely in the past.

• The Canucks were 2-for-5 last night on the powerplay, pushing their percentage to 29.2%. It's still second to Minnesota overall, but they are mopping up the road numbers. The Canucks road powerplay is now operating at a 33% clip. Thirty-three per cent! For you high school dropouts, that means they convert on 1 of every 3 man advantages. Organized religion is jealous of that conversion rate.
  
  
• Henrik and Daniel had moments of pure artistry tonight, and perhaps even this season's first instance of wizardous sedinerie on the above powerplay, but I want to use this moment to point something out: I say moments of pure artistry, because the Sedins haven't really been dominating games yet. That's what they're capable of. They came close tonight, with 6 points and a barrage of shots, but on the whole, Thomas Vanek was more dangerous than they were. Yes, the Sedins have not yet hit their stride, and nobody knows how to say it. The problem is that it's hard to criticize guys who are tied for 4th in NHL scoring behind Ovechkin, Stamkos, and Crosby. But here's the thing: last season, these guys were playing with Alex Burrows, who was at the top of his game. When it wasn't him, it was Mikael Samuelsson, playing better than he ever has. This season, Samuelsson is still struggling to find his legs, and Burrows is still working his way back to game shape. Couple that with the fact that Henrik's passing accuracy isn't where it normally is and you have a recipe for scary success if they actually start clicking. That's how good these guys are.
  
  
• I'm not sure what everyone else's take on Cory Schneider is, but I thought he was only all right tonight. He stopped 35 shots, so you can't fault him too much. But, the Cody McCormick goal was an egregious mistake, as McCormick slid it under him and Schneider, in a panic, knocked it into his own net. I felt like his down-low coverage and rebound control were a bit sloppy tonight, and a lot of the pressure he felt could have been avoided by being a bit more controlled. He was diving around like Miikka Kiprusoff tonight, and that's not the way Schneider plays when he's playing well.
  
  
• Dan Hamhuis is to blame on the overtime goal, and that's a play he doesn't make if he's on top of his game. He certainly wouldn't have made it earlier in the season. Hammy on the goal, from the Vancouver Sun: "I blocked a shot, it was bouncing in front of me, I had a guy on my back and just tried to clear it to the side," Dan Hamhuis said. "I don’t know what happened. It was a tough spot. Puck bouncing off my chest, and I really had no time. I just tried to clear it out of there but the puck ended up going to their guy." That sucks.
  
  
• Hamuis' mistake is symptomatic of the entire defense corps. The Canucks have had trouble on this road trip with small, speedy, skilled teams. We should be able to crush these teams. However, the Canucks' defenders are still so out of sync that we're getting crossed up far too often. The way they chased Tyler Ennis around at times last night looked like a Scooby-Doo door chase. The defense is in disarray. Why? Injuries have really thrown off their rhythm. We've got important guys out; guys playing the wrong side; guys playing too many minutes; guys playing with the wrong defense partner; guys trying to find their legs after injuries derailed a good start to the season; guys in the press box who should be playing and vice versa... it's a veritable madhouse. Let's hope the Canucks can sort this out, because right now, it's a mess.
  
  
• I found myself liking Tanner Glass's game a lot last night, which I guess qualifies me to be the next coach of the Vancouver Canucks. I'm wondering if my opinion of him was coloured by his admission that he plays Scrabble with Aaron Rome on team flights. Swoon. Glass is a college boy, so it's possible that he's not half-bad at America' s favourite crossword-building game. Is he careful not to open up the triple word and the double letter at the same time? Does he know his list of two-letter and three-letter words off by heart? I think I love you, Tanner.
  
  
• I wasn't a huge fan of Vigneault's decision to flip Burrows and Samuelsson on the line formations, but I recognize he's got to get everybody going, and it paid dividends right away. The last time I got immediate dividends was when I passed Go. My favourite thing about the Samuelsson goal? The brief, celebratory jig he does when he scores. He looks like a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot at the Gay Pride Parade.
  
  
• In the faceoff circle, All three of Kesler, Sedin, and Malhotra were over 60%, with Kesler winning the day at 72%. Incredibly, he was 8-for-9 on draws in the offensive zone, which makes him 17-of-18 in enemy territory over the last three games. Safe to say Kesler's been our best faceoff man on the road trip.
  
  
• Mario Bliznak was 1-3, by the way. He's typically a good faceoff man, but he's really not getting it done on his NHL tour. Take away the goal in Ottawa, and he hasn't been impressive at all.
  
  
• All this talk of Vancouver and Buffalo being expansion cousins has me wondering if they could get married, if they wanted, or if it would be frowned upon.
  
  
• Has Andrew Alberts played his way into the press box? He had just over 11 minutes of ice time tonight, while Aaron Rome had just over 20. Worse, Alberts was a team-low minus-3. That's never a good sign. In my mind, Alberts brings more to the table than Rome with his hittiness, but it looks as though Rome has played his way into AV's top-six. I know people keep saying you don't win Stanley Cups with Aaron Rome, but I'd assume you don't win Stanley Cups with Kent Huskins, either, and he's got a ring. Not every guy on the roster has to be an All-Star. Some guys, like your sixth defenseman, just have to not [lovemake] up.
  
  
• Now that it's the third week of Movember, Canuck moustaches are starting to show, and it's surprising how many of the guys are actually doing it. Skeeter caught a few of them in his Movember post, but as it turns out, not nearly all of them. I haven't seen this many moustaches since the last time I turned the left and right bathroom mirrors out, so as to create the illusion that there were hundreds of me.
  
  
• Unrelated to hockey, I'm getting really sick of those Rogers commercials with the good-looking guy and the schlub. Rogers is painting all of their non-customers as fat losers and it's insulting. They make it seem like the only way for the schlub to regain all the respect he's lost to the model is to buy a Rogers phone, but I think there's another option: kill the model.

Big Numbers: 3 Things That Are, Like, Whaaaaat?

Hi there! Do you like stats? Here are a few stat-things to help get you through Monday, a generally unliked day, according to cats and Boomtown Rats. (You'll notice that Monday doesn't have a Facebook fan page. That's because nobody likes it.) Well, it's possible these stat-things will make you say "Whaaaaaat?", and therefore inject some life into your Monday.

Thing 1: Canucks are Good at Faceoffs

The Canucks are the best faceoff team in the NHL at 55.6%. Granted, their lead over the next closest team--San Jose--is only 0.1% (the Sharks have a 55.5% success rate), but these are still impressive numbers. Last year, the Canucks finished 7th in the NHL in faceoffs, and they've done well to improve on that so far.

It's not just Manny Malhotra either. Granted, his 62.3% success rate is a large part of this stat, and he's certainly got more than a few tricks to teach the other drawmen, such as using the glove. I pointed out earlier this season that Malhotra wins a lot of defensive draws by getting low enough to sweep the puck back with his glove if the stick is tied up. Did you notice Kesler winning the opening draw of the Maple Leafs game the same way? Granted, it's a glove pass if you're not in the defensive zone, but let's not quibble over small details. Kesler's success rate has jumped from 55.1% to 57.4%. It may not look like much, but it's definitely something. And if you're starving for a larger statistical jump, take a look at Henrik Sedin, who finished last year at 49.5%: so far this season, he's winning draws at a 51.4% success rate.

Thing 2: Canucks Win When Outshot

Vancouver's record when being outshot by the opposition: 5-0-1. That's correct: they have not lost in regulation when they've been outshot. Only the Washington Capitals have the same success in these circumstances .

How do you account for this? Two things. First, good goaltending. While Canuck nation tears Roberto Luongo apart any time he lets in more than one goal, it's hard to be too critical when he keeps the Canucks in games where they don't have the run of play. Second, the Canucks apparently don't need to pepper the opposition goaltender to score. They're 5th in the NHL, averaging 3.19 goals per game, but only 10th in the NHL in shots per game, at 31.5.

Also interesting: most of their goals are coming in the third period. In fact, only Washington has scored more after forty minutes. And if you love weird negative anomalies, consider this: Vancouver has only scored 10 goals in 2nd periods. That is the lowest total in the NHL.

Thing 3: Canucks Tend to Score When They Have More Guys on the Ice Than the Other Team

The Canucks have the 2nd best power play in the NHL, behind only the Minnesota Wild. On the road, however, it's the best powerplay in the league. Last year, the Canucks powerplay was 11th on the road (6th overall). These improvements bode well for new powerplay coach Newell Brown, who has given some new looks and structures to the Canucks' special teams.

I initially thought it was a crazy idea to put Ryan Kesler on the Canucks' first unit, but he's got 4 power play goals this season, second only to Daniel Sedin's 5. Kesler has busted out of an early-season scoring slump and is making Newell Brown look like he knows more than casual fans. I refuse to believe this is the case.