Eyewitness Report: Canucks Superskills Competition

The annual Canucks Superskills event is a treat for Canucks fans, especially for fans who can't afford the price of admission to a regular game. The cheaper ticket price, combined with the fun atmosphere and events on the concourse, make it a great chance for parents to give their kids a closer look at their hockey heroes. It also manages to make me feel like a kid again, as I attended my second Superskills event last night. As an added bonus, all proceeds go to the Canucks For Kids Fund.

The Canucks Alumni kicked off the afternoon with a spirited contest. I love watching the alumni play: it's lighthearted fun and a great chance to see a few old favorites. I was hoping to see Cliff Ronning, my favorite Canuck of all-time, but it was not to be. Notable names, however, included Dave Babych, Chris Oddleifson, Garry Valk, and John Garrett, who dug up his classic mask, which clashed slightly with his green, blue, and white sweater. And even though he never played for the Canucks, Bill Ranford showed up, though he played as a defenseman instead of in net.

Garrett played as if a car was on the line, making save after save and hamming it up by bowing elaborately to the crowd after each ovation. Meanwhile, Valk depended on the easy-going nature of the game to get away with hook after hook, and even had the audacity to use his jersey to wipe down the linesman's visor after an offside call. At one point Valk gave Garrett a bump after the whistle, likely hoping he would slip and injure himself, freeing up the coveted Sportsnet Pacific colour commentator position for the "ex-Canuck turned analyst." The announcer warned that they were playing old-timer's rules: no running the goaltender, but that doesn't mean you can't make rude comments about his family.

The final score was 3-3, with Garrett making a classic pad-stacking saves in the final 5 seconds to preserve the tie. The unofficial three stars, compiled by my friend Ryan and myself, were as follows:

3rd Star: Dave Babych, who showcased strong defensive play in a game that was sorely lacking it and also tallied a highlight-reel goal as he jumped into the rush like he was Christian Ehrhoff and sneakily flicked the puck in shortside as he flew down the wing.

2nd Star: Chris Oddleifson, who showed he still has slick hands, sniping two goals past John Garrett and consistently looking dangerous, despite not wearing any shoulder pads.

1st Star: John "Cheech" Garrett, both for his legitimately good performance and his showmanship. The crowd loved him and it's hard to argue with the popular choice.

There was a brief break in the action at this point, highlighted by a game of musical chairs played by Fin and a gaggle of other mascots, which was clearly rigged in Fin's favor. If I was a bookie, I would be ticked, as it was clear that Bernie and S.J. Sharkie threw the match. They also showed some videos on the scoreboard, including the inaugural Canucks Scrabble Battle featuring PITB's own Harrison Mooney. We also spotted one person in the crowd wearing a Tanner Glass Scrabble Champ shirt.

In the meantime, we played Jersey Foul Bingo, created by my friend Lisa. The Bingo cards were painstakingly compiled, though they admittedly featured a number of spots that are not actually Jersey Fouls for the sake of filling out the card. For example, there's nothing wrong with wearing a jersey from a past era, but the column was filled with names such as O'Brien, Cloutier, and Carter, as well as gimmes like Bure. Actual jersey fouls on the card included jerseys from the wrong team (we spotted Blackhawks, Flyers, Penguins, and Canadiens), featuring D.I.Y. lettering, three-digit numbering, wrong/own name, and even wrong sport (we saw a football jersey, but no others). I came the closest to filling out my card, needing either a baseball jersey (saw plenty of hats), Manitoba Moose jersey, or CFL jersey. So close. We'll have to make our own Jersey Foul Bingo for our upcoming road trip.

The worst of the fouls we saw were the "B. Lo" and "Diggler" jerseys, both with 69 on the back. Classy. Also bad, but less awkward to explain to a 7-year-old attending the Superskills, was the baffling "W. Sedin" jersey with Henrik's 33. But the most audacious was the fellow who put his own name, "Sheppard," on the back of a current Canucks jersey, with the number 10 and the captain's "C" on the front. I'm sorry, but no. Not only are you not on the Canucks, you are not number 10 on the Canucks, and you are definitely not the captain of the Canucks. From where I'm sitting, which happens to be a pretty lofty perch on a rather tall horse, that is what the internet would refer to as a fail. If you happen to be reading this, please never wear it again. Instead, frame the jersey with all the numbers hidden so you can pretend it actually is a Henrik jersey.

Finally, the players themselves came out, split into Team Blue and Team Green. The four of us attending split our loyalties between the two teams so as to know for whom to cheer. My wife picked Team Blue, claiming that they appeared to be the underdogs. I noted the presence of Tambellini, Raymond, and Hansen on Team Blue, as well as Sami Salo, and quickly concluded that they already had the Fastest Skater and Hardest Shot contests in the bag and threw my support behind Team Green, the true underdogs.

The view from our seats as the teams lined up against each other.

First up was the warm-up event, a quick three-on-three game worth only 1 point in the overall competition. Ehrhoff scored the only two goals for Team Green, as they fell 4-2 to Team Blue thanks to two goals by Tambellini, including a cheeky between the legs shot to cap off the win. With that, the Canucks showed they were willing to get fancy to please the crowd.

Team Green owned the Puck Control Relay as Kesler, Malhotra, and Tanev proved faster than Hodgson, Burrows, and Ballard, mainly due to Ballard losing control of the puck on the final turn leaving Tanev free and clear. The 1-on-1 competition was Sedin vs. Sedin, as the twins eerily matched each other stride-for-stride including identical celebrations when they both thought they had won. They awarded the victory to Henrik, who further fueled Daniel's seething rage by claiming to be 5-0 in such competitions. In all honesty, it looked too close to call; the twins match each other's movements so exactly that it would not surprise me in the least if they crossed the finish line at the same time.

The Fastest Skater contest was, as suspected, no contest whatsoever. Team Blue had Raymond, Tambellini, and Hansen. Team Green had Glass, Ehrhoff, and Tanev. It wasn't even close: all three Team Blue skaters finished faster than the closest Team Green skater, Tanner Glass. Raymond took the prize with a time of 13.652, though Hansen surprised by beating Tambellini. It was Raymond's second year winning the event, leading to the most awkward moment of the event, as Dan Murphy asked if Raymond was looking forward to being back to try for the three-peat. Raymond paused and said, "I hope so," as the recent mentions of his name potentially on the trading block swam a brief lap through his head. He might not even be on the team tomorrow Murph; that's a bit of an insensitive question. The savvy Ian Walker picked up on it as well, though Raymond sloughed it off.

The downtime between events allowed for some crowd interaction, which leads me to the following two uncontroversial statements: the kid who won the Dance Cam contest is awesome and the Canucks' kids are entirely adorable. Kesler's daughter even took to the ice in her tiny skates, supported by her dad. Ehrhoff carried around his pigtailed daughter while thanking the crowd for coming out and Henrik had his son up on his shoulders at one point, carrying him around the ice. Another highlight was seeing three kids sitting side-by-side in one of the doors to the bench. Completely adorable.

The 3rd event of the afternoon was the Hardest Shot competition, with Rome and Salo participating for Team Blue and Hamhuis and Ehrhoff for Team Green. Without Edler, it seemed like Salo would have no competition and he set the bar reasonable high with a solid 101.5 mph shot. Ehrhoff came closest, with a surprising 101.1 mph shot of his own. Hamhuis topped out at 99.2 mph, with Rome tallying a respectable 96.4. What a boon to have those kinds of cannons at the point; with Edler scheduled to be back in time for the playoffs, the Canucks will have three defensemen who can shoot the puck over 100 mph.

Alex Burrows won the Accuracy competition for Team Blue, hitting four straight targets after ringing his first shot off the post. Samuelsson also went 4-for-5, necessitating a one-target playoff, which took Burrows 3 shots to hit, but was entirely missed by Samuelsson. The win put Blue up 8-4 as they entered into the final 2 contests with more points on the line.

The Power Play contest featured 3 players from one team against a defenseman and a goalie: first up was Tambellini, Burrows, and Daniel Sedin for Team Blue against Hamhuis and Luongo. They managed 2 quick goals, but some bizarre passing between Hammy and Lu prevented anymore damage as they ragged the puck around the boards. Torres, Glass, and Kesler for Team Green took on Ballard and Schneider, but could only create one goal, a beautiful forehand-backhand move by Glass, which prompted a Scrabble joke from Murph.

Hodgson, Oreskovich, and Raymond, which was actually the fourth line at the end of the Canucks' game against the Bruins, appeared next for Team Blue and took advantage of Tanev's raw rookieness to the tune of 2 goals. Henrik, Malhotra, and Samuelsson responded in kind for Team Green, netting 2 goals, though the third was on Henrik's stick with a wide-open net as time ran out. As is often the case, Henrik hung on to the puck as long as possible before releasing it. Henrik with the puck is a little like a kid nursing an injured baby bird back to health: he'll take good care of it, touch it gently, hold it close, and never want to let it go. Then he'll saucer pass it cross-ice through a maze of legs and sticks so it can be one-timed into the back of the net.

The final contest was the highlight of the event: the Breakaway Relay. A lot of the Canucks got fancy with their attempts, which didn't always result in goals but always got a big reaction from the crowd. Tambellini made like Rob Schremp with his first attempt, sweeping the puck up onto his stick then pulling off some crazy lacrosse-like moves, before attempting to sling the puck by Luongo...but the puck refused to leave his stick. Apparently the adhesive he used was a little too strong. Luongo hilariously responded by skating out and shooting away the puck for his next attempt before Tambellini could get to it.

Hamhuis then stole the show by going 2-for-2, making a case for being used in the shootout as he pulled off a Forsbergian one-hander that Schneider couldn't quite snag, then roofed his next attempt from his knees. Ballard went 1-for-2 himself, with his goal a slick backhand move as he lazily chewed some gum that he likely stole from Alain Vigneault's private stash. His second attempt was a tricky combination of a distracting glove throw and a shot before his other hand returned to his stick. He pulled it off by kicking his stick forward, a clever little move that didn't pay off as Luongo easily kicked it aside then dismissively swept Ballard's glove from the crease.

Burrows tried to get fancy, showing off some surprisingly slick moves, but Luongo stood tall. Tanner Glass tried my favorite move of the evening, as he dove out on his belly, passed the puck from his hand to his stick and tried to sweep it past Schneider. It was entirely ineffective, but it did succeed at being funny-looking, so the crowd loved it. Raffi Torres proceeded to flip out: being funny-looking is my gig, get a new bit. Raymond and Daniel followed up by each going 1-for-2, though Daniel benefited from Luongo taking himself out for a spin and a backwards somersault. Pro-tip, kids: don't do that in a game.

After Samuelsson went 1-for-2, Kesler had his initial attempt stopped, prompting him to take a page from Ballard's book and attempt to distract Schneider by throwing his glove. But, instead of a friendly toss in the air, Kesler aggressively chucked it right at Schneider's logo before wristing the puck off the post and in. Now Kesler, what would your daughter say about that?

All that remained was tallying the final score. Team Blue, who definitely were not underdogs, finished with the victory, 16-14. And all that was left for us was to pick up our free Canucks window clings, eat our free yogurt (it was a little sweet), and snag a free pepperoni stick on the way out the door. Free is my favorite price.

In closing: it was a wonderful afternoon and I encourage you to attend next year if you get the chance.

HNIC Revisits the Tanner Glass Scrabble Challenge

I'm sure you're getting a little tired of Canucks Scrabble coverage, but we've had requests for the Subway bio clip featuring Tanner Glass. With that, (and thanks again to the remarkably generous CanucksHD), here's last Saturday's Hockey Night Subway bio, featuring Tanner Glass, PITB, and a brief return to the Canucks' Scrabble challenge. As you can see, HNIC smartly avoided any photos that would feature yours truly, instead opting for candid shots of the extremely photogenic Tanner Glass. I'd have done the same. Wise choice, CBC.

Scott Oake seems confused as to who won, but he's got a decent line on DOUGHIER: I think that's what happens to goaltenders after they quit playing. Likely a shot at Kelly Hrudey, like every other joke he makes. Funny stuff, although I prefer Daniel's line: As in, Harrison is doughier than Tanner Glass. It's funny 'cause it's true.

A Moment of Pure Bulis

It's a stressful time right now. The NHL trade deadline is under five hours away. Fans and players alike want to know that Mike Gillis will do. Who's on the way in? Who's on the way out? Will we get better? Will we lose ground? Will they trade for a top-six winger? Will they trade Mason Raymond? What will happen to Mason Raymond? Has anyone asked Mason Raymond what he wants?

Is this you? Relax, Mason Raymond.


Sometimes the fever pitch reaches a critical point. When that happens, we at PITB recommend that you take a step back, focus on your breathing, and enjoy a much-needed Moment of Pure Bulis.



Did you know? Alex Edler thinks I Am Legend was good, but the ending could have been better.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Bruins, February 26, 2011

Canucks 1 - 3 Bruins

Last night's tough loss to the Boston Bruins keeps the Canucks mired in their pattern of alternating wins and losses, a pattern that's now persisted for 10 games. That said, you have to think last night's loss was different--that is was the toughest of the most recent five. Tied at one going into the third period, and poised to do what they do best, which is take over in the third period, the Canucks were instead shocked by a Bruins team that collapsed back in a tie game to block shots and clog up passing lanes. Then, they capitalized on a missed call and a missed defensive assignment to score the game-winner, and wound up skating away from the final frame with two goals on four shots. It had to be sort of infuriating--sort of really infuriating--and I should know, because I felt a similar fury as I watched this game:

• The Boston Bruins continued the trend of Eastern Conference teams getting past the Canucks by blocking every possible shot. Boston blocked 23 shots (Johnny Boychuk and Adam McQuaid having 10 between them). The Canadiens and the Rangers utilized this same game plan to success, and it would appear that teams have a book on the Canucks. Before you start to panic, however, realize that it's no foolproof plan and it can only be exacted if you're not trailing. Had the Canucks been able to hold a lead against these three clubs, things would have opened up. That said, we are beginning to see how teams adjust and meticulously prepare for the best team in the NHL. The Canucks rely on a lot of down-low passing, so if you collapse around the net, you can cover them and get in passing lanes while remaining in position to block point shots. Unsurprisingly, ten of Vancouver's blocked attempts came off the sticks of their top four defensemen.

• One way to combat a goal crease collapse is to send a big forward into the opponents' defensive box to wreak havoc. However, among the top six forwards, only Ryan Kesler has the size for this, especially when Zdeno Chara can so ably move a smaller body elsewhere. Worse, as the center, Kesler is supposed to be the first forward back, so he really can't afford to get caught down low (at even strength, anyway). Tanner Glass's promotion to the second line was Vigneault's attempt to combat the net presence deficiency in his top six.

• It was also an attempt to get through to Mason Raymond, for whom the problems continue to compound. He's typically a reliable defensive player, even during scoring slumps, but even that aspect of his game is beginning to drift away. In the last few games, we've seen plays die on his stick, then come back the other way without him, and end up in the net. Raymond again played a subpar offensive game last night, but he earned a third period demotion to the fourth line with some brutal defensive coverage on Nathan Horton's second period goal. Not only does he let Horton get position in front, Raymond takes his stick out of the play and winds up left with no other recourse but a series of ineffective nudges. If his stick's on the ice, maybe he jams Horton up or knocks the puck away. Instead, one of the spindliest Canucks tosses his stick over his back like a hobo's bindle and tries to outmuscle a power forward. Unwise. Raymond may not have earned himself a trade out of town last night but, at the very least, he's earned himself a couple restless nights before the deadline.

• In the past, PITB had an oft-used No Third Line For Glass hashtag, which we used whenever Tanner Glass got top nine icetime. We've since semi-retired this hashtag (because we love Tanner Glass now), although AV appears to have finally listened, as he bypassed the third line entirely and bumped Tanner to the second. Okay, in truth, this had more to do with keeping the third line intact. They've combined for 7 goals in the last 7 games, including this game's lone Canuck tally. That one came off the stick of Manny "Alternate Captain Mal" Malhotra, who becomes the first Canuck to beat Tim Thomas. Thomas can take solace, however, in knowing that no caucasian Canuck has ever beaten him. Try to remember that, Canucks. Next time the Bruins come to town, we should dress Darren Archibald to take advantage of Thomas's susceptibility to shots by ethnic minorities.

• Brad Marchand's got a real Inspector Gadget look to him, doesn't he? With the long face and nose, I half-expected him to skate on a line with Penny and Brain. He's a bit of a bumbler, too. Twice last night he activated Go-Go-Gadget-Take-Stupid-Penalty.

• Rough night for Sami Salo, who was on the ice for all three Boston goals. Silver lining: that means he stayed healthy for the whole game. Offensively, I enjoyed his eagerness to blast the puck whenever possible. It's nice to have that weapon back. Salo had a game-high 5 shots, and although two were blocked, none missed the net. Can you believe this guy's one half of our bottom pairing?

• People will claim that the Canucks were outmuscled, but that's not actually true. The Canucks outhit Boston 32 to 22, led by 4 hits by Jannik Hansen, 6 by Tanner Glass, and a whopping seven by Raffi Torres, including this fabulous one on Tomas Kaberle, which might have been Raffi's best hit of the season. Human bowling ball indeed.

• Milan Lucic was the star of the evening, scoring the game-winner and notching a helper on Boston's other two goals. That said, can we please put the shoulda drafted Lucic talk to rest? It would have been nice to have a Vancouver-born player in a Canucks uniform, but this isn't another Cam Neely fiasco. He was never going to be a Canuck. He was drafted 50th overall, and scouts at the time thought even that was early. Even if the Canucks hadn't traded away their second-rounder, they likely wouldn't have used it on him. It seems foolish now, but I'm a little sick of people forgetting how hindsight works.

• Ryan Kesler's in a bit of a scoring slump, and I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. Who else do you have to worry about when he's on the ice?

• Speaking of Kesler, he took 25 faceoffs last night. The rest of the team, combined, took 29. It was like he and Vigneault were playing a game of Uno, and Vigneault was out to get him. Draw four, Kes. Ha ha, draw four again.

• I liked Alex Burrows' battle with Milan Lucic. During one faceoff in particular, Lucic simply encroached on Burr's space and made himself unmovable, but what Burr lacks in brute strength, he makes up for in obnoxiousness, so he just chopped Lucic's stick out of his hands and skated away. Good on you, Burr, you greasy little snot.

• The Canucks' power play looked disorganized and tentative, and it may have cost the the game. Tentative is good for road trip itineraries; it's bad for special teams.

• And finally, Cody Hodgson had a strong game, likely motivated by this being the last of his three-game tryout (of sorts), but he needs to get his shot off a little quicker. His patience is impressive, sure, but more impressive if when one's shot reaches the goaltender. Cody had 1 shot on goal, but he had three more blocked because he held onto it too long. I have a feeling the knock on Hodgson will always be a lack of urgency, but unlike the Sedins, he doesn't have an Art Ross trophy to fall back on when people claim he's not quick enough to fire. He should spend a weekend with Donald Trump.

Ryan Kesler on After Hours, Scott Oake Loves PITB

Here's Ryan "Astro Boy" Kesler on After Hours. As usual, the segment's a must-watch, and you have to admire Scott Oake's skill as an interviewer to make it so. Kesler's not an easy interview. He's a surly guy that punches questions, and ends sentences abruptly. There's simply no avoiding dead air when he's the guest.

This one also features the best PITB mention yet (and the second time on the evening someone on the HNIC crew said my name; it was Harrison Night in Canada). At 17:55, Oake asks Kesler another @passittobulis question, marking the third time we've gotten a tweet on the show (first, second). The question in question? Ask Kesler if it's just a coincidence that his son was born exactly 9 months (to the day) after he signed his big contract extension. Regular Bulies might know that we stumbled across this suspicious synchronization of dates while putting together the 2010 in review year-end retrospective.

Kesler is so caught off guard by this question that he a) cracks a disbelieving smile, then b) is briefly rendered speechless, then c) proceeds drop a swearbomb live on the air. He explains how it was during the postseason and he caught crap from AV about sex in the playoffs. Except he doesn't say crap, no sir, he certainly does not. Move over, George Stromboulopoulos, Ryan Kesler's the new badass in town.

This video is also worth watching for Kevin Weekes' blue velvet blazer. Do you like blue velvet? Well, tough, because Kevin Weekes does. And so does David Lynch.

The Pros and Cons of Mike Gillis's Trade Deadline Options

If Gillis's first name was Jack, and he made all the best trades, the headline could be, "Jack of All Trades."

The Vancouver Canucks have been one of the NHL's best teams for most of the season and, barring a major collapse, will go into the playoffs as a Stanley Cup frontrunner. They've never been better constructed or positioned to win. With that in mind, as the NHL trade deadline nears, general manager Mike Gillis faces tremendous pressure to do everything he can to fix any possible areas of weakness within his team.

But everything is questionable. Any move he makes or doesn't make comes with risks, and no matter what he does (even if he does nothing, maybe even especially if he does nothing), he will be immediately questioned and criticized. Let's examine his three choices and weigh the pros and cons for each:

1 DO NOTHING

Pros: No paperwork.

Additionally, you avoid the bidding wars. Mike Gillis has gone on record as saying he's not a fan of the NHL trading deadline, and for good reason: it's the exact opposite of a sale. Everything costs too much, especially when you know it'll be cheaper later. If you have to have it now, you can stomach it, but Gillis doesn't have to have anything. His team, as presently constructed, is on top of the NHL, and their chemistry is fantastic.

Holding fast at the deadline is a way to tell them that, too. Sometimes a simple vote of confidence is more effective than any player acquisition.

Cons: Sometimes it isn't. If the players don't get the job done, you have to answer to everyone for your inability to get them that final piece. For example, the Canucks need a fourth-line center. Granted, they could go into the playoffs with Cody Hodgson or Alex Bolduc or whomever in the middle and it might work, but if the team can't get past the second round, Gillis is going to face a lot of criticism for failing to acquire a better option.

The worst con, though, is that you've completely wasted James Duthie's considerable talents by giving him nothing to report.

2 MAKE A DEPTH MOVE

Pros: You can address any small area of need, or simply get a piece that puts your team over the top. Often, your players can read this as a sign you believed they were a piece away, so the vote of confidence angle holds up. A small trade shows you're still hard at work to piece together a winner.

It also serves to get the fans off your back, and considering everybody has a trade proposal, at least one guy is going to be convinced you read the e-mail he sent you.

Plus, even if you overpaid, it didn't cost that much, and the immediate benefit is a player that can help you right away.

Cons: Whatever you get, you likely won't have it for long, and the team with whom you deal will almost certainly have their piece of the trade for longer. Eventually, that draft pick or prospect you traded is going to be somebody. If he turns out to be somebody significant, well, you're not the guy who traded a pick or prospect for a rental, you're the guy who traded Superstar X for a rental.

Heck, if any superstar is drafted within twenty picks of a draft pick you traded, someone will claim you technically traded away that superstar as well, since you traded away the right to draft him, (even if you still wouldn't have). All of this is exacerbated if the guy you acquire turns out to be pretty useless. Then you're the guy who traded Milan Lucic for four games of Mika Noronen.

3 MAKE A SPLASH

Pros: Everyone will love you. On paper, your team simply gets better. You get a major asset.

Cons: You probably have to hold a press conference. On a Monday. Who wants that?

Additionally, when you trade for somebody good, you generally have to give away some good stuff. You can't give a little and get a lot. Unless you're this guy (or trading with Joe Nieuwendyk).

Worse, even if you're comfortable with what you traded and you get the big name you want, the threat to team chemistry is always looming. A big trade typically means tampering with the delicate core of your team, and a lifetime of Saturday afternoon movies has taught me it's never a good idea to tamper with unstable cores--you run the risk of accidentally blowing everything up.

If that happens, then you look like a complete idiot, your team looks stupid for losing despite being stronger, on paper, than before, and suddenly those pieces you were comfortable trading turn out to be four Lucices. That's when you get fired, and in the years to come, you find yourself on the TSN panel reporting on trade deadline day, like some sort of ironic, repetitive, purgatorial punishment for your hubris.

Canucks TV: Canucks Scrabble Battle

Raffi Torres, Human Bowling Ball: Photoshop Gallery 2

Welcome once again to the Raffi Torres BallTor photoshop gallery. If you're new to this, I recommend starting either with the original photo, or with the first photoshop gallery, posted yesterday. Otherwise, let's just dive headfirst into the awesome:


I think this image is real. I hardly have to suspend my disbelief at all. If Raffi were in plainclothes, I'd swear up and down this was taken by Jeff Vinnick in Calgary. BoggyDepot, you are awesome.

Ill Bill Necro gives us Raffi, the human wrecking ball. Unfortunately, this building was a mom & pop shop forced to close by mean landlord Mr. Snively. It's a sad story, really.

This had better be a PSA for how not to go down a waterslide, because otherwise, Raffi's doing it all wrong. Sirwilliam with the image.

I like Raffi's desperate attempt to avoid looking directly into Darcy Hordichuk's nipple. This one's another gem from egatti, who also did today's header image.

In this visual metaphor, Raffi Torres represents small government. The patriotically named canadian hockey style brings the politics.

Here's MrWiggles with a solid effort. What a dig by number seven.

Something about that ball doesn't look right. I think Tiger Woods is cheating, but what else is new? Zing. This one's by MikeyD.

Ill Bill Necro gives us Raffi, the human cheese wheel. As a ginger, Raffi's definitely got the colouring to be cheese.

BoggyDepot gives us the first BallTor image in which he's right-side up. I like how concerned Raffi appears to be. I also like how he's ducking, in case another flaming bag of excrement falls from the sky.

Kudos to BoggyDepot again. I saw this movie when I was younger, and I don't remember Raffi Torres being in it. But I could be wrong.

Here's another MikeyD image. It's amazing to me how Raffi's wide open mouth can go from excitement to horror, depending on the situation pictured. Here, he's clearly terrified, and rightly so. No good can come of this.

Egatti earns PITB's "Too soon" award for this creative animated GIF. If you're offended by this image, ignore it for now, then come back in three months or so and you'll find it hilarious.

Here's something just as topical and much less offensive, again from egatti. Raffi makes a good Tron battle disc. By the way, thank goodness he plays on the same team as Sami Salo, because this is actually a simulation of what would happen if they ever collided.

GALLERY 1 - - - - - - - - - - GALLERY 2

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Blues, February 24, 2011

Canucks 3 - 2 Blues

I feel like we've been spouting this statistic a lot lately, but the Canucks still haven't lost two consecutive regulation games since November. I used to be impressed; now I'm just annoyed. I mean, they keep alternating wins and losses, forcing me to point to this statistic every second game. No more, friends. Here's a new stat: the Canucks haven't won two consecutive games in regulation since the beginning of this month. In short, the Canucks are probably sellers.

Okay, maybe not, especially not after a victory (he said, sounding a lot like a shortsighted NHL GM). I'm not a fan of the alternating wins and losses, but I'm a fan of the wins, and I quite enjoyed the effort the team put forth in order to get one last night. The Canucks had another solid response game, bouncing back from the loss to the Montreal Canadiens with a complete team effort versus the St. Louis Blues. Every line was effective, Cory Schneider played great in net, and the Canucks fended off a team in dire need of points to collect two of their own. Additionally (and most importantly), I watched this game:

• The Canucks' third line has been excellent since being reunited the last time the Canucks played the Blues on February 14. How appropriate that their chemistry would be rekindled on Valentine's Day (for inappropriate ways to build chemistry, see the Lonely Island). The third line has 11 points, combined, in their last six games, and has contributed 6 goals. For the slow-witted: that's a goal a game. If you can count on your third line for a goal each game, you'll probably do all right.

• I was impressed that John Garrett's Hockey Know How segment (often a strange segment in which Garrett seems oddly unacquainted with the clip he himself has selected), managed to actually inform me for once. He went over the game-winning goal (above), pointing out the way Torres's hit on Colaiacovo not only freed up the puck, but took his man away from the net and out of the play. In fact, Torres didn't even really hit him--he just moved him. There was more, though. Hansen picked up an assist on the goal in the only way he knows how: with a pokecheck. Gosh, Hansen loves to poke. If he ever commits a serious crime, we need to make sure the judge doesn't order him to do trash pickup for community service. He'd have way too much fun.

• Manny Malhotra scored the game-winner, which was a major windfall for him and his line, but I don't like the way people are talking as though he's finally contributing. Malhotra took 2 faceoffs in the offensive zone and 12 in the defensive zone. Vigneault doesn't put him on the ice to score.

• Raffi Torres had a game-high 5 hits, a couple impressive backchecks (2 takeaways), and zero baffling passes to nowhere. Kudos.

• I watched tonight's game with Cam Davie of Canucks Army, who is a quality dude. Just wanted to throw that out there.
  

• You want to talk Wizardous Sedinerie? How about Mikael Samuelsson's goal, which comes by way of some remarkable cycling by the Sedins in the corner. Seriously, they make the St. Louis defensemen look like the Washington Generals. The Sedins cycled so spectacularly nobody even noticed they were on motorcycles the whole time. And make no mistake: Tanev may have been sneaking in the backdoor, but that pass really was meant for Samuelsson. Only Henrik Sedin thinks of passing into someone's gut, but that's what he did.

• You might not have noticed, but Aaron Rome finished the game with less icetime than Keith Ballard. To quote Werner Herzog in Encounters at the End of the World, "Is this a great moment?" Yes it is. Ballard simply brings more to the table than Rome, and it appears that he's finally earning his coach's trust. Of course, Rome's reduced icetime might have to do with his play on the David Backes goal. Word of warning to amateur hockey players: never lazily sweep the puck to David Backes in the high slot. That's like giving a baby a loaded handgun. Worse, a baby with a history of assault with a firearm, like Maggie Simpson.
  

• Another reason for a reduction in Rome's icetime might have been the pairings: after Vigneault built himself a top four of Hamhuis with Ehrhoff and Ballard with Salo, Rome defaulted to the bottom pairing with low-minute man Chris Tanev. It definitely didn't take Hammy long to return to form. He played a game-high 23:53, finishing with four shots, two hits, and two blocks. He also acted as a steadying presence for Ehrhoff, from whom we've seen some jittery play lately. Meanwhile, Ballard and Salo were paired together, which made a lot of sense. Once everyone's healthy, this is likely the bottom pairing for the Canucks, so it's wise of Alain Vigneault to put them together right away.
  

• It was great to see Sami Salo score, too, especially in the vintage way they he did it. Nobody is better at shading in from the point for that exact one-timer, and it's nice to see this weapon return. Salo's shot remains a laser. Heck, it's not just any laser, either; it's a moonraker. Short of the golden gun, Sami Salo's shot is the best weapon in Goldeneye 64.

• Tanner Glass only played five minutes in this game, but he was granted third star honours for his play in that time, as he finished a goal short of the Gordie Howe hat trick. He did, however, pick up a Tanner Glass hat-trick, which is a goal, an assist, and bevy of Scrabble jokes from the broadcast team (the best one courtesy of Dan Murphy, postgame). His pass to Salo showed some great vision, and his fight with BJ Crombeen gave the Canucks some life early in the first period. That fight, by the way, came after Crombeen claimed, just prior to the faceoff, that MENSWEAR was two words.

• The Canucks did a great job of keeping Alex Steen, somehow the Blues' Canuck-killer, off the scoresheet. He finished a minus-1 and had 4 of his shots blocked, more than any other player. Think Vigneault talked to his guys about this? I do. Mind you, the Canucks were blocking shots all over the place. They blocked 17 shots overall, including 11 from their defense alone, and 7 from the Ballard/Salo pairing. It worries me to think of Sami Salo blocking a lot of shots, but now that his bones are mush, how much damage can it really do?

• Welcome Damien Cox to Sportsnet, everyone. and stop throwing things at your televisions, that's what he wants. And you, get down from there. Don't you dare kick that chair out from underneath you.

• Rough second period for the Canucks, but that'll happen. Look no further than the Blues' first period. I could have sworn the Blues got a defenseman back when they traded Erik Johnson, but it looked to me like one of their defense pairings was missing a guy for the first twenty minutes. Did anyone notice that the Blues gave up 17 shots and about seventy-six odd-man rushes?

• And finally, Mason Raymond played a very good game. No goals and he missed some chances, but he generated more, and had six shots on net. I haven't been happy with his play of late (and I suspect, neither has he), but I hope he stays with the team through the deadline. If he can continue to play like he did tonight, it wouldn't be worth the jolt to team chemistry to bring someone else in.
  

Raffi Torres, Human Bowling Ball: Photoshop Gallery 1

You might recall the Raffi Torres bowling ball image (BallTor) from the minor photoshop party we tried to jumpstart last week. It comes from this goal, Raffi's second of the night in a 5-2 win over the Dallas Stars. The goal led to this photo, which is wonderful for many, many reasons, chief amongst them the fact that Raffi, often referred to as a human bowling ball, couldn't have looked more like one if he'd worn all black and let someone put fingers in his eyes and mouth.

Anyhow, the meme has begun to take off, and PITB's gifted scores of doctored Raffi Torres photos in the last few days. We've seen a byfuglienian buttload of good ones at this point, and it's high time we shared some with you. Behold, gallery 1:

The brilliant egatti sticks with the bowling ball theme. Here's a classic Bill Murray still from Kingpin. I like it, but I'm concerned about where Murray's fingers are.

And here's another from egatti, taken from perhaps the greatest bowling movie of all time. Raffi's slight rotation is unfortunate.

Can you spot Raffi Torres? Hint: he's in the egg. Again, it's egatti, who is brilliant at this sort of thing, and it's always a treat when you can draw him out into the open.

Here's one from the bizarrely named Rubbed by Luongo. It's hilarious to me how excited Raffi looks to being scooped into the cone. He's probably been waiting in the bucket forever.

SirWilliam finally answers the question of what happened to the dinosaurs. Apparently, the same thing that happened to the Buffalo Sabres last season.

Mr. Wiggles makes brilliant use of Raffi's extended leg here. I never would have thought of this.

I've never played Angry Birds, but people tell me that's what this avelanch photoshop is. It's kind of awesome, whatever it is.

Okay, this must have taken MikeyD forever. It's brilliant, but wow, that's a time-consuming project. I wonder if the dog eats around the sticks.

Glen gives us this imaginative entry, which paints a remarkable picture. My favourite part is that no one appears to actually be watching Raffi serve them, which begs the philosophical question: if a man is served unobserved, is he really served?

You've gotta love the topical ones, as avelanch gives us Blake Griffin dunking Torres. Word is Demar DeRozan grumbled about the use of props, but he might have changed his tune if Griffin had dunked a midget.

Someone on the forum asked for Raffi as the giant rolling rock from Indiana Jones, and this, from marinated.pea, is what they got instead. Part of me likes it better.

And finally, Rozzy91 with the best animated gif ever. I can't figure out if the splatter is Raffi exploding, or his skate catching the woman in the nose. Either way, this thing is pure win.

GALLERY 1 - - - - - - - - - - GALLERY 2

I Watched This [Scrabble] Game: Team Mooney vs. Team Glass, February 23, 2011

What an incredible experience. Our thanks goes out to Tanner Glass, Derek Jory, Canuck Place, Hasbro Canada, Annie May, and the Canucks organization for helping to make this all happen. Harrison and I are amazed at how our silly little Scrabble challenge turned into an opportunity to raise an estimated $8000 for Canuck Place. We are humbled by the outpouring of support for this little event: thank you.

We got to Canuck Place a little early and met up with our videographer/photographer, Roderick, who agreed to help us out last minute. Roderick was amazing and we're looking forward to sharing the video we're putting together with him. Keep an eye on Canucks.com, however, for the official video of the event. Jeff Vinnick was also on hand and took some amazing photos, while Ed Willes provided comments from the peanut gallery and an excellent article for the Province. I moved into the corner and set up Live Blog Central, which hovered around 200 followers from beginning to end, and had just over 800 readers in total.

In the end, Harrison was victorious, though Tanner and his crew of awesome kids mounted an incredible comeback: the Highlight of the Night was definitely "menswear," though the TSN Turning Point was Harrison's Bingo with "doughier," using two blanks and a triple word score. But I didn't watch the highlights. I watched this game.

• Tanner Glass is a large dude. I understand he's 6'1", 210 lbs, but when you see him on TV on the ice with other players of similar size it doesn't have the same impact. When he walks into a room that has tables meant to be used by children, however, he is massive. It's a good thing it wasn't Scrabble Boxing, or Harrison would have been in real trouble.

• In all seriousness, Tanner was very friendly, even though it was clear he didn't know what to expect from us. I have to give him a lot of credit for accepting the challenge and putting himself out there to benefit the kids at Canuck Place. I suspect he's getting a fair amount of razzing from his teammates and, possibly, opponents. I wonder if that's part of the smack talk on the ice now when someone challenges him: are you sure you want to get in a fight? I might make you forget all the Q without U words.

• Tanner was asked about his educational background helping him out in Scrabble, and he quipped "There's no Scrabble course at Dartmouth. It's no Harvard, that's for sure." Classic.

• Meanwhile, a young lady surreptitiously stood behind Tanner for most of the game with her cell phone out, tweeting Tanner's tiles as @VanCanucks and getting advice from those following the game. The biggest celebrity guest star on the night was @BrentButt, who suggested "inuit." Unfortunately, "inuit" is a proper noun and is ineligible in Scrabble. Instead, Tanner played "dint" for 25 points, completing three other words in the process. I think Tanner could beat Brent Butt at Scrabble. Just saying.

• Some have pointed out that Harrison got some incredible luck with the tiles he drew, getting high-powered letters like X, Q, Z, and J as well as both blanks. It's important to realize, however, that he made the high-risk move to trade in his tiles early on, keeping only the J. It was in that round that he drew both blanks that led to his bingo with "doughier" as well as the Z. It was a calculated risk that paid off.

• Aaron Rome is labelled in the pre-game video as the "Forgotten Scrabbler." He and I should get together and play a game. We forgotten Scrabblers need to stick together.

• True to Aaron Rome's prediction, Tanner played a grinding game, clawing his way back with three and four-letter words and playing a strong defensive game by locking down the triple-word scores as soon as they opened up. He also used some good teamwork by getting advice from the kids, including his best play of the game with "menswear." Jaxson was the brain behind that play and he was beaming. His play in the Scrabble game illustrates why Glass has made himself a staple on the Canucks fourth line: he keeps it simple, plays hard, and is a good teammate.

• Jannik Hansen's smack talk in the pre-game tips video is absolutely hilarious. He claims that Tanner is the third or fourth best Scrabbler on the team and that the North Americans do their best to avoid being beaten by the Europeans, for whom english is a second language. It's clear that Hansen isn't just a dogged competitor on the ice. I wonder if he's ever been able to spell pokecheck in a game?

• My favorite moment in that video, however, comes when Burrows sees the Scrabble Champ t-shirt and Tanner walks behind him, commenting "sick, eh?" then continues on. Major props to Annie May for the design and I love the fact that Tanner is a big fan of the shirts.

• Speaking of the t-shirts, they sold so quickly that Tanner wasn't even able to get one in the right size for his fiancée, Emily. She wore it anyways, supporting Glass the whole way. Harrison and I stopped by the Canucks Team Store after the Scrabble Battle and picked up a couple shirts for family members; there were only 2 shirts remaining after we left. We're hopeful that they will decide to do another run of the shirts in the future; they might be encouraged to do so if people who wanted shirts sent a friendly note to them...

• Thanks to everyone who joined in on the live blog. Some of the jokes and comments were shared with Tanner and Harrison. "Booing the refs" got big laughs and a few groans from everyone, and "We all know a 55-point lead is the most dangerous lead in Scrabble" got a good reaction as well. Kudos to deb and Ione for the wisecracks. I also appreciated Barbara Aucoin dropping by to suggest that I should play her son at Scrabble. Since Adrian Aucoin has clearly retired from the NHL and definitely doesn't play hockey any more, I suspect he spends most of his free time Scrabbling. I'm really not sure if I'm good enough at Scrabble to take him on.

• Final score of the game was 344 - 313 for Harrison. According to the Scrabble website, an average tournament score is 330 - 450 points per game, so an impressive showing for both Mooney and Glass, neither of whom are Scrabble experts (Andy Sutton really wanted to know). Harrison, of course, talks a big game and he definitely is good at Scrabble, but he's not the "Scrabble pro" that he was played up to be. Tanner, on the other hand, was better than we expected as he had downplayed his skill prior to the game. Admittedly, he got a little help from the Canuck Place kids, but he played a solid game. You can see the final board at Canucks.com/scrabble.

• Finally, the presence of an actual trophy and the phenomenal success in raising money for Canucks Place has whet our appetites to do this again. My hope is that we can get more people involved and have a Celebrity Scrabble Tournament next year, involving Canuck players, other local celebrities, and members of the community. Obviously, this is just an idea at this point, but only a few months ago, playing Tanner Glass at Scrabble was also just an idea.

Quick Hits (From Behind): Scrabble Edition

Quick Hits (From Behind) is an irregular feature on Pass it To Bulis, wherein two hockey fans chip in their thoughts on current hockey news and get assessed a five-minute major and a game misconduct.

With the inaugural Scrabble Battle now in the books, and the surreal fog of yesterday's visit to Canuck Place now worn off (aided by the fact I overslept for work this morning), it seems the only thing left to do is file and alphabetize the memories.

PITB will have a full write-up with photos and video with all our thoughts and observations on the event sometime next week (and Skeeter is furiously preparing an IWTG) but, for now, we'll leave things in the hands of the capable writers at the Vancouver Province, Vancouver Sun, and Canucks.com. After the jump, a special Scrabble edition of the Quick Hits (From Behind):

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• Canucks' Tanner Glass Rises to Scrabble Challenge -- Ed Willes, the Province

Ed Willes was in the room for the whole event, occasionally chiming in with amusing remarks or tallying up the score faster than I could. He claims he comes from a Scrabble family, but even he seemed downright impressed to learn that "doughy" had a comparative form. I think I could take him. Anyhow, Willes's article is today's must-read. And, if for some reason, the Internet's not your cuppa tea, you can find this piece on the front page of the Province. Good thing there's no news today.

“Basically, the plan was to challenge him, then make fun of him when he turned us down,” said Mooney, one of the founders of the Pass it to Bulis website and the driving force behind the event.

He ruined the joke. But created something worthwhile in its place.

Wednesday at Canuck Place, Glass, the Canucks’ irrepressible fourth-line winger, faced off against Mooney in the first-ever Canucks’ Scrabble Battle and, friends, if that picture doesn’t get your adrenaline flowing, there’s something wrong.

OK, in all honesty, it doesn’t seem like two-man Scrabble will catch on as a spectator event, but if the action was less than riveting, it succeeded in raising $8,000 for the charity.

Less than riveting? Tanner spelled MENSWEAR! That's insane. From where I'm sitting, Scrabble is far more entertaining than poker. Mind you, where I'm sitting, at least in the photo below, is across from Tanner Glass, playing Scrabble. That is to say, I'm biased; it's pretty entertaining from there.

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• Friendly War of Words -- Derek Jory, Canucks.com

Awesome Canucks.com writer Derek Jory was also there, and his article takes you through some of the moves in a little more depth.

In the Game’s Room at Canuck Place, Glass and Mooney sat opposite each other for 45 minutes, sweat trickling down their foreheads, deadlocked in the friendliest war of words around.

It started with Glass making the first move, the benefactor of having earned more pledges than Mooney by a count of $2,435 to $1,565, and maneuvering his way through letters BAIOWRE, he played WEAR for 14 points. And they were off to the races.

It was difficult to predict how this game would unfold being there live – would it be like watching paint dry or was drama in the tiles – but before anyone had time to digest the first move and wait around for a second, Mooney replied with WAITER, playing down off the w from wear, for 18 points.

If you're wondering, the BAIOWRE is also the name of the Scott Baio fan club I belonged to as a child. But you can't play proper nouns anyway.

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• Canucks Scrabble Photo Gallery

Make sure you check out all the photos in the Canucks Scrabble photo gallery, all of which manage to capture my good side, except for below. If you're wondering, my best angles are the back of my head and not pictured.

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• Canucks' Scrabble Battle With Glass No Pushover For Local Blogger -- Ian Walker, Puckworld

And finally, Ian Walker decides to take the antagonistic route, needling me for winning by such a narrow margin.

For a guy talking a heck of a lot of smack going into the Scrabble Battle, blogger Harrison Mooney of should consider himself lucky. Mooney defeated Tanner Glass 344-314 at the inaugural event at Canucks Place. If not for two blank chips used to form the word 'doughier,' which resulted in a score of 76 points, it could well have been a different story.

“I thought he was going to be a lot better than he was,” said Glass.

To Ian, I say, a win is a win, Walker. Additionally, Harrison Mooney does not take kindly to people pointing out the gross exaggeration of his boasting. This calls for a vendetta.

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From the What If Files: Vigneault Injected With Truth Serum

You, Brad Ziemer. You're the one I hate. I hate you.

Alain Vigneault is a coach who really knows how to use the media, not to garner attention, like Ron Wilson, but to make his team better. Some of us even go so far as to point out when he does it. Still, while Vigneault is at his most effective while using the media to his own advantage, it's hard to deny he's funniest when he loses his composure a little bit. Wouldn't it be great if, just once, he were biochemically forced to tel us all what he really thought? Consider the following scenario:

VANCOUVER -- Police are looking for a suspect who may have administered sodium amytal, a so-called "truth serum," to Canucks head coach Alain Vigneault Tuesday night before a media scrum.

The Canucks coach was tested for drugs after making several "overly appropriate" comments to the media following a 3-2 loss to the Montreal Canadiens.

"[expletive deleted]," Vigneault said to reporters. "[expletive deleted]. Bet [expletive deleted] Boudreau would [expletive deleted] be [expletive deleted] proud of that [expletive deleted] one, wouldn't he? [expletives deleted]."

Before what he called his "Gary Bettman hearing a Canadian team has made the Cup Final" impression, Vigneaut had several other comments, more printable but much less shocking.

"Before he even got to the microphone, he said 'Oh, you're here. I hate you so much,'" reported Brad Ziemer of Puckworld. "That was sort of a joke we have going where he pretends to hate me, and I pretend to be chicken little. Nothing odd about that."

It was Vigneault's later comments that raised eyebrows.

"That PK Subban's an annoying kid, isn't he?" Vigneault said. "He even had Kes getting back into old habits between whistles a bit. What a jerk."

When asked about the power play, Vigneault didn't -- probably physically couldn't -- mince words.

"Best power play in the league, and we can't score 5 on 3," Vigneault said, his voice getting louder than was really necessary. "We've never scored on a 5 on 3. If we're on the power play, seems the easiest way to stop us would be to take another penalty."

Vigneault then yelled expletives down the hall, calling Newell Brown out by name.

"I said before the game that we would play to our strengths and the Canadiens would play to theirs," Vigneault said. "Of course, that's hard for us, because we have so many strengths."

"It's easy for a team like Montreal, whose strengths include playing defensively, having a good goaltender, and representing the lollipop guild," Vigneault said. "Our strengths are offensive, defensive, on the power play, on the penalty kill, five on five, on the forecheck, on the backcheck, cycling, off the rush, and apparently on the Scrabble board."

This last was in reference, likely, to Tanner Glass and his upcoming Scrabble battle with immensely famous blogger Harrison Mooney.

Members of the media said the Canucks coach's frankness was surprising, but that they weren't above taking advantage.

"I asked if Gillis was likely to make a trade for a fourth line center during the deadline," said Iain MacIntyre, reporter for the Vancouver Sun. "He went on a complete tangent. It was pretty great."

"Oh, [expletive deleted], I forgot to give Hodgson a real chance out there," Vigneault said. "I should have known better. Oh well, two games to go."

"Gillis is always willing to make a trade," Vigneault continued. "He's not like Nonis. Nonis would stand pat at the deadline. Once, we were playing draw poker, and Nonis stood pat with four to a flush. It's just his way."

At this point, apparently remembering they had a job to do, Canucks personnel cut Vigneault's mic and escorted him away, but not before he punched one of them, shouting afterward, "I wish that had been Gary Bettman."

Mike Gillis was unavailable for comment regarding the incident, but Dave Nonis responded to Vigneault's comments, saying, "I had a pair, too."