Wellwood's World Chapter 2: The Oppressive Angst of Waiting

Oftentimes, no news is good news. That is definitely not the case when you're an NHL free agent in the off-season. And when you're a hockey blogger who happens to be a fan of said NHL free agent, no news is excruciating.

We here at Pass it To Bulis! have made no secret of our love for Kyle Wellwood in all his weirdness (though I can't speak for newest PiTB-er, Qris). We think he's nifty and neat, to say the least. And we promised monthly updates with the first chapter of Wellwood's World in July. Unfortunately, it's one month later and there's very little material with which to update.

I certainly thought we'd be discussing his signing with an NHL club in this August chapter of Wellwood's World; don't other NHL teams know he's a defensive superstar? Don't they know he's a mutant with undisclosed superpowers? Don't they know he has 13 points in his last 22 playoff games? Don't they know his faceoff percentage was 53.8%, good for 18th in the NHL?

There aren't even any good rumors floating around. The Vancouver Sun could only manage an article about how tough it is for Kyle Wellwood to still be unsigned at this point in the off-season. In other words, they turned the lack of news into news. Just like I turned the lack of news into a blogpost.

Wellwood hasn't let the angst of free agency get him down (he's likely instead pondering the meaning of free agency in a world that seems intent on defining humanity by limiting real, meaningful choices and instead providing the illusion of choice) and indeed seems to be developing a marked sense of grandeur:

“Obviously, Europe has been after me for a long time and I haven't wanted to go there yet.”

That's the spirit of individualism! All of Europe has been after Kyle, but he has made his own choice to use his talents as he sees fit! Who is John Galt? It seems that he is, after all, Kyle Wellwood!

Wait, he's just talking about the European hockey leagues? Well nevermind then. Here's a picture of a Kyle Wellwood Mii my wife and I made.

Amazing Fan Video: What Doesn't Kill Us

This is "What Doesn't Kill Us", a Canucks season preview video, and I should say up front that, normally, I don't bother with these things. They make for a good watch if you've got five minutes to waste, but they're also all pretty similar. That said, I just really like this one. It's kind of intense, it's kind of epic, it's kind of totally in high-definition. It shows me all the best plays from last season (one of the Canucks' best seasons, if you ask me, playoff collapse aside). This video is by Canuck fan Jonathan Kasper, who goes by the handle EvoLu7ion (note: sevens are not tees) and put it together with clips from the best Youtuber/Canucks fan in the world, CanucksHD. It covers all the necessary ground, it gets me pumped, and it makes me kind of pissed that it's still mid-August, the worst month of the year. So here it is.

This is Our Year, This is Our Year, This is Our Year, This is Our Year

I have been alive for a score and some bits, and I have been a Canucks fan for all of them. I have seen my fair share of disappointment, heartbreak, and failure, and I believe that primary reason for this is that's all the Canucks have done so far. Sure, they have made a few finals, but what is their legacy? Dramatic losses, collapses, chokes, letdowns... For most of the last 40 years, the Canucks have been a lovable room of schlubs who occasionally rise above themselves. When they make headway into proving they're so much more than that, somebody breaks somebody else's neck or something and everything comes toppling back to earth.

And yet I keep plucking that chicken (NSFW, but hilarious), because one day, I believe, they're inevitably going to win the Stanley Cup, and the half-century of heartbreak will just be a charming footnote on the way to their inevitable glory. No, David Cassidy, it won't be forever. It's going to happen very soon. This is what we all think, but it's not just that. We think it's going to happen next year, every year. I used to wish that I would meet a genie, and I would ask him to tell me when the Canucks were going to win the Stanley Cup. Later on, this alarmed me: in my heart of hearts, I always assumed it was soon, that the genie would say it was coming within the next three years, of course. But what if it wasn't for twenty years? Would I still be a fan during the years I knew for a fact they weren't going to win? If Marty McFly gave you his Sports Almanac, and you discovered the Canucks weren't going to win a Stanley Cup in this next decade, would you still follow the team during the futility? I don't know. I don't know if any of us would. I think our Canucks fandom is based less on the love of sports and more on the presumption that we've hit rock bottom so many times, this has to be (it has to be! it has to be!) our year. If we knew for a fact we were going to spend many more years licking boot, would we stick around?

In this way, I think Canucks fans are different from regular sports fans. Canucks fans are held together by a grand promise of the future. It's been forty years; it couldn't be many more, we say, and that depressing thought is the backdoor to a stupid optimism. Yes, we're blind to ourselves, we're ignorant, we're overly optimistic, and we are prone to irrational mood swings, but that's because we're tapped out and we think the universe is too. Our glory is imminent. Canucks fans are that lady who hangs around the slot machines for hours and jumps in once someone else realizes they've wasted a ton of time. This thing has to pay out soon, we say. It has to. Tommy Larscheid's retirement has all the Vancouver media guys reflecting on how long they've been working with this team, waiting for one thing, and when it might finally happen. And be honest: we all think it might happen this year; this is our year. It definitely is, said my heart.

I Watched This Summit: Canucks Summer Summit, July 7, 2010

The Vancouver Canucks held their annual Summer Summit tonight, making several big announcements and answering the questions of season ticket holders. On-stage were Orland Kurtenbach, Mike Gillis, Victor de Bonis, and Stan Smyl with John Shorthouse and Jim Robson asking the questions to start off the evening.

And, because it's the off-season and I care way too much about the Canucks, I took the time to watch the summit live on Canucks.com. Let's face it, I'm starved for Canucks news and I hope that you are too. Otherwise, no one would bother reading this post.

A couple of the announcements were expected and anticipated, such as the reveal of the 40th Anniversary sweater and the introduction of a couple of the new arrivals to the Canucks for the 2010-11 season. Others were more surprising. Here's a quick recap of the event and some thoughts on the announcements.

The Big Announcements

• The biggest announcement, of course, is the retirement of Markus Naslund's #19 on December 11th of the upcoming season. While I'm sure this will spark many debates among Canucks fans as to whether the honour is deserved, personally, I'm thrilled. Naslund revived the franchise when he arrived from Pittsburgh, becoming one of the most important Canucks of all time. He's the all-time franchise leader in goals and points, and was the key component of one of the most exciting scoring lines Vancouver has ever seen in the West Coast Express. But equally important, he played a big role in the community, along with his wife Lotta. They gave freely of their time and energy, much of it to Canucks Place and BC Children's Hospital. Markus is a special player who is very deserving of having his number retired along Smyl and Linden.

• Like many other NHL teams, the Canucks will be establishing a Ring of Honour for those players who may not be ideal candidates for a sweater retirement but still contributed to the history of the Canucks organization. The first to be honoured on October 26th will be Orland Kurtenbach, the Canucks first captain and former head coach. This is a great move by the organization, as there are many players that could be honoured. Orland is a great choice to be the first inductee. Three other players will be inducted this year. Possibilities could be Richard Brodeur, Kirk McLean, Thomas Gradin, Pavel Bure, and Wayne Maki. The one player that the Ring of Honour should take out a restraining order on to ensure that he has no contact with it, whether in person or by phone: Mark Messier.

• As expected, the Canucks introduced a special 40th Anniversary sweater, which will be worn on opening night and four additional nights. The sweater is a match for the original they wore for their first seasons in the NHL from 1970-78 with the addition of the 40th Anniversary patch that had already been scouted out. I'm guessing the other four nights this jersey is worn will be the nights they induct the four members of the Ring of Honour, but that's just speculation on my part.

Smaller Announcements and Answers to Questions

• The team formally introduced Manny Malhotra and Dan Hamhuis as members of the Canucks. It's a good thing they showed up, as John Shorthouse was looking dangerously under-dressed in his polo shirt amongst all the suits. Fortunately, Manny and Hammy were appropriately casual. Hamhuis slipped in a jab at Nashville, noting that the attendance at the Summer Summit was awfully similar to the attendance at a Predators home game in November. Shortly after, while drawing a ticket for a prize, a fan jokingly booed when he announced it was a red rather than green ticket. Shorty jumped in, "Your first boo! No, no, it was Hamhuuuuuis."

• Shorthouse used the opportunity of the announcement of Naslund's jersey retirement to ask about the possibility of Pavel Bure receiving the same treatment in the future. Gillis clearly was not expecting the question and gave a classic GM's non-answer. To be fair, Bure could be inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame and would be the first player who played the majority of his career in Vancouver to receive that honour. I don't see it happening; it's more likely he'll find a place in the Ring of Honour.

• Then came the questions from the season ticket holders, the majority aimed at Mike Gillis. The first was about Russians and the KHL: no Russians other than Shirokov will be competing for a spot on the Canucks and it appears that Kirill Koltsov won't be coming over from the KHL any time soon. Gillis went as far to say that the risks with Russian players and the KHL mean that he'll be likely to pick more Western Canadian kids than Russian kids in the future.

• Best line of the evening easily goes to Gillis. A fan asked "Why don't we have a cool intro like the Flames or Oilers?" Gillis's response: "I'd rather have a hockey team." Killer line.

• Gillis was actually quite funny all night, with a number of great one-liners. He really seemed to enjoy himself.

• Alex Burrows, according to Gillis, is ahead of schedule after his shoulder surgery and may be back in time for the beginning of the season. His agent had previously suggested Burrows might not be back until October or November, so hopefully Gillis is right.

• Who will wear #2 next season, Ballard or Hamhuis? Hammy suggested that in these types of cases, it usually comes down to the number of games played. Convenient.

• Unfortunately, our favourite weirdo, Kyle Wellwood, is on his way out. Gillis wished him the best and hopes that he finds a place to play through free agency.

• And finally, Gillis confirmed once again that Cory Schneider will be the backup in Vancouver, but also expressed the desire to sign a "veteran, young goaltender" to be their third-stringer/starter for the Moose. It's kind of difficult to get someone who's both veteran and young. Yann Danis might work; he's been a respectable backup at the NHL level. He's 29, but he could be a decent pickup. Barry Brust is younger, but has less NHL experience. Thankfully, I'm not the GM of the Canucks.

Offseason Blues: Why I'm Watching the NBA Finals

Here's the thing. Annually, when the Canucks are eliminated, I turn my attention to basketball. Why? Because they know how to market their sport. I will admit that the NHL's advertising has improved (read: drastically) over the years, the NBA has been feeding me great ads and great drama. For example, check out their NBA Finals ad, which features lots of Kobe, iconic moments from NBA history, and Andre 3000 covering the Beatles.

Steve Nash Sells Vitamin Water on Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Dearest Canucks fans,

I hope you're finding other awesome things to do now that our beloved orcas are playing golf. Yes, I do. I hope that the devastation you suffered lingered only briefly, and that you've found replacement activities that will sustain you through another long offseason.

Yes, I know there's been some Canucks news, but I'm a married man, y'all. My wife begs me all the time to take a little break from the Canucks, and annually, I acquiesced... for a small portion of the offseason, right at the beginning of it. I figure another week and I'll be in her good books.

In the meantime, I have sunk my teeth completely into Steve Nash and the Phoenix Suns. Have you? I hope so, because not only is Steve Nash a super great guy and one of the best point guards in the NBA (not to mention the best Canadian basketball player ever), but he's hilarious. Case in point, the above interview with Space Ghost.

I know how it works. A lot of Vancouverites are still choked at the NBA for the way we were treated. Don't be. In terms of ignorance and mismanagement from the top down, the NBA's head offices are not that different from the NHL's. Don't blame the players, don't blame the game. Blame the blundering, managerial consortium--a staple of both sports--that royally effs things up for fans of the sport. And while you're blaming them, look past them like you do with the NHL, and watch some incredible basketball.

The Phoenix Suns are very entertaining. Amare Stoudemire is a beast. Steve Nash breaks a piece of his face off during every game and still plays the next one without complaint. Last night, the Phoenix bench--a full, five-man unit--literally beat the Lakers starters by themselves. That's unheard of, and you missed it.

Stop missing it. Fall in love with the BC-born mega-athlete who makes seeing-eye passes and hawks Vitamin Water at every turn. And do it now, because he's playing the best basketball of his career.

Because We Know So Much Better

Clearly, Hordichuk would have made all the difference...

It's become an annual tradition for Canucks fans to take stock of their team post-season and come up with a list of mistakes made by the coaches and general manager and what needs to change. Canucks fans aren't content to end the season with "Wait 'til next year!" Instead, we immediately start putting together next year's team, with radical ideas usually based on reactionary thinking.

On the radio, I heard a caller suggest that the Canucks should play the trap because, with Luongo in net they need to play a defensive game. Just last year I heard callers to the Team 1040 complain that the Canucks need to play a more open style and let Luongo clean up any defensive breakdowns that result.

AV decided not to dress Hordichuk against Chicago? Chose not to go with 7 defencemen when Salo was injured? Didn't use enough timeouts? Fire him.

Luongo not up to par in the playoffs? Statistics not as good as last year? Trade him.

Holes in the defence? Weak bottom six? Throw money at the problem until it goes away.

This guy thinks Luongo is an inch too tall and 20 pounds too heavy to win a Stanley Cup.

Another thinks Ilya Kovalchuk is the solution to put "the Sedins over the top."

And, of course, there's the annual call to "bring Bertuzzi back."

Let's face it, every Canucks fan does this. Maybe our ideas aren't as silly as these ones on the surface, but we each believe that we're the only ones who know what's best for the team and exactly what needs to be done. I'm no different and neither is Harrison. He insists that a trade of Mason Raymond and Steve Bernier for Nathan Horton would be ideal; I'm skeptical that Florida would accept the trade and, after seeing the flame-outs of Jokinen and Bouwmeester in Calgary, whether he would experience the same success in the Northwest that he did in the Southeast.

I have my own ideas about what needs to be done during the offseason, and I'll be sure to write it all down on this blog, but I need to make sure my conscience is clear: I could be wrong. And, what's truly important, so could everyone else. Every blog that you read, every editorial column from the mainstream media, every random opinion from a co-worker, we could all be wrong. Don't believe everything you hear from the Team 1040 and don't base your opinions on what the experts say: look at the facts and decide for yourself. But be open-minded. After all, you could be wrong. If someone disagrees with you, don't dismiss them. Listen to their argument, look at the facts, and then dismiss him.

After all, you know better than he does.