Factual Inaccuracies in "How The West Was One"

Local musician Kyprios has released a new song, "How The West Was One," a Canuck anthem just in time for the playoffs. It's a decent song, actually, with some slick production and decent flow. I like it. Though he drops fewer rhymes than the Bible's got psalms, Kyprios demonstrates a legit knowledge of the Canucks and proves himself a true fan. There are, however, some factual inaccuracies in the lyrics, which, as a super-famous Canuck blog co-writer, I feel obliged to correct, so as to avoid spreading fallacies amongst the Canuck fanbase.

40 years, 40 years
Won't be another one the champs are here

So far, so okay. With an appropriate amount of swagger, Kyprios asserts that after 40 years of no Stanley Cups, there won't be another one. This seems, perhaps, a bit brash: it implies, after all, that the Canucks will win the Stanley Cup every single season from now on. This is a bit too optimistic, though I understand the impetus behind such bravado. An alternate explanation might be that Kyprios expects either the world or the NHL to end after this season, which would be exceedingly pessimistic. Either interpretation paints Kyprios as a man prone to dangerous extremes in his beliefs.

Hank and Dank are in the building
They going in first like Barry Wilkins

Barry Wilkins is, of course, the defenseman who scored the first NHL goal in Vancouver Canucks history. He managed to score only four other goals that season, so here's hoping that the simile comparing the Sedins to Wilkins is grossly inaccurate. Quite frankly, it already is: the Sedins don't normally play the first shift of the game, so they are rarely "going in first." If he's referring to the offensive zone, it's generally Burrows' job to get in on the forecheck first. If Kyprios is referring to the powerplay, where the Sedins generally are first over the boards, he should have been more clear.

Hit first ask questions second
My man Tiger Williams taught me them lessons

While Tiger Williams certainly "hit first," asking questions was much further down his list of priorities, somewhere between "water the begonias" and "pick up drycleaning." Honestly, I'm not sure what kind of questions he might ask after laying out an opponent with a bodycheck: How's the weather down there? Have you read my cookbook? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Recipients of his hits were not in the best frame of mind to answer questions in any case.

And we're destined, flyin' in the Western
We can beat you both ways like Ryan Kesler

Wait, is Kyprios admitting that he has physically assaulted Ryan Kesler? We can beat you both ways, just like we beat Ryan Kesler? Is he also saying that there are only two ways to beat someone? Judge Dredd would likely disagree with that. Of course, Kyprios is actually saying that the Canucks can win either by scoring goals or by preventing goals. That is factually inaccurate: the Canucks win by doing both at the same time.

Yessir, ya not even competitors
Listen up to Alex, and respect your Edlers

That's not inaccurate; that's just a terrible pun.

We got heroes, who beat you with pure play
We got Burrows, lookin' like Bure

The only way that Burrows looks like Bure is in regards to the first three letters of his name. At no point when they are on the ice do they look at all similar. They don't score goals in the same way, they don't skate the same way, and their facial features are entirely dissimilar. It is factually inaccurate to say that Burrows looks like Bure.

Fan my whole life, not a team quite this sick
Opposition goalies are the red light district

While I could quibble that it is extremely unlikely that Kyprios was a Canucks fan during his infancy, I won't. In fact, the rhyme of "quite this sick" with "light district" is solid, although Harrison feels Kyprios missed an attempt to sneak in a reference to "Bisquick".

Vancouver is a family
So we'll do it for Bourdon and we'll do it for Manny

Yeah, I can't argue with this one. Only one word appropriate for this couplet: werd.

Happy Anniversary
It's not the name on the back, rep the front of the jersey

Factual inaccuracy: the 40th Anniversary Jersey, which Kyprios is clearly referencing in this couplet, does not even have a name on the back. Thus, it would be impossible to play for the name on the back as it simply does not exist. QED.

Coach Vinny knows the Hammer gonna getcha,

This seems like something Mikael "Awkward Dad" Samuelsson might say to his kids while rough-housing: The Hammer's gonna getcha! It's gonna getcha! The part that is factually inaccurate, however, is that Alain Vigneault is not called "Coach Vinny." It makes him sound like an Italian-American mobster rather than a French-Canadian hockey coach. Vigneault is actually known as Monsieur Rondelle.

could be Keith Ballard or boom boom Bieksa

Kevin Bieksa's nickname is "Juice" not "Boom Boom." The only "Boom Boom" in hockey is Bernie "Boom Boom" Geoffrion, the supposed inventor of the slapshot. If Kyprios wanted to avoid the "Juice" appellation and go with a repetitious nickname of his own invention, I would suggest "Pinch Pinch" or "Slide Slide."

This is Kyprios, not Nick or Kiprusoff
Got me throwin' punches like pissin Rick Rypien off

Kyprios kindly clarifies that he is not Nick Kypreos, something @RealKyper_ never had the courtesy to do. Apparently confusing Kyprios with Nick Kypreos or, worse, Miikka Kiprusoff enrages Kyprios to the point of physical violence. Someone needs to notify him, however, that pissing Rick Rypien off leads to mild shirt tugs rather than punch-throwing.

Shootin' like Sammy, with Torres beside him

Kyprios shoots logos all over Vancouver. Any time you see a bullet hole in a logo, Kyprios put it there. Also, when Raffi Torres is next to him, Samuelsson hits logos with greater efficiency. There's nothing factually inaccurate about this, it just needed to be pointed out.

If they Called Raffi Cli, the boys couldn't find him

See, if you put "Cli" in front of Raffi's last name, it makes 12-year-old boys laugh. It doesn't, however, make Raffi more difficult to find, as the small campfire on his lower lip makes him stand out in a crowd no matter what prefix is added to his name. Factual inaccuracy.

Jokes, Laugh when I'm servin' ya
You know I love the Nucks like Pratt loves Ursula

In this, the darkest, most soul-searching part of the song, Kyprios admits to stalking the Vancouver Canucks, calling them at all hours of the night, and growling at them while wearing leather pants. It takes a lot of guts to admit you have a problem, Kyprios. I'm proud of you.

Great Dane, May Ray is the trickiest kid
Lap Dog, and Chris is getting Higgy with it

Jannik Hansen is from Denmark and he is pretty great. Placing his nickname so close to Mason Raymond's, however, only makes it seem like they are the same person. This is factually inaccurate. Also, no one calls Maxim Lapierre "Lap Dog" anymore, not since Steve Downie made that mistake. And while "Chris is getting Higgy with it" was one of the lamest things Dave Tomlinson has every said, I'm all for embracing it in true ironic hipster fashion. As long as it is said with full self-awareness that it is a lame thing to say, then it's awesome. That's how irony works, right?

Wild west, where you know how the song go
The Nucks are the number underneath of Luongo

No they are not. The Canucks are a hockey team composed of human beings with emotions, feeling, and stories. They are not numbers, they are free men! Reducing them to a number is just plain wrong. They're human beings, dammit! Treat them with some dignity!

HNIC Revisits the Tanner Glass Scrabble Challenge

I'm sure you're getting a little tired of Canucks Scrabble coverage, but we've had requests for the Subway bio clip featuring Tanner Glass. With that, (and thanks again to the remarkably generous CanucksHD), here's last Saturday's Hockey Night Subway bio, featuring Tanner Glass, PITB, and a brief return to the Canucks' Scrabble challenge. As you can see, HNIC smartly avoided any photos that would feature yours truly, instead opting for candid shots of the extremely photogenic Tanner Glass. I'd have done the same. Wise choice, CBC.

Scott Oake seems confused as to who won, but he's got a decent line on DOUGHIER: I think that's what happens to goaltenders after they quit playing. Likely a shot at Kelly Hrudey, like every other joke he makes. Funny stuff, although I prefer Daniel's line: As in, Harrison is doughier than Tanner Glass. It's funny 'cause it's true.

Slewfoot on Keith Ballard Showcases One of the Many Ways a Player Can Needlessly Injure Another Player

If you haven't seen it yet, here's a clip of the Keith Ballard injury, via Kukla's Korner. Last night, during the game, I wondered aloud to my wife if Milan Michalek was guilty of a slewfoot here. Kukla's Korner asks the same question. Ben Kuzma also asked. Mike Gillis straight up said it was. Let me tell you: if it looks like a slewfoot and quacks like a duck, well, it's probably a slewfoot, but then why the Hell is it quacking?

Anyway, this is probably a slewfoot, one of the many oft-overlooked ways one player can give another player a completely needless, totally avoidable, longterm injury. Word is Ballard will miss 2-4 weeks with an MCL sprain, and if the MRI reveals a tear, well, longer. Frankly, Hips is lucky his knee didn't pop clean off--the fate that befell my poseable MC Hammer action figure when I was nine.

And if it is a slewfoot, where's the outrage? I don't like the way this is being brushed off. Slewfoots are exceedingly dangerous, just like the headshots that dominate the daily discussions of NHL issues. They happen surprisingly often, and yet nobody really talks about cracking down on them.

Today would have been a great day to discuss yet one more way hockey players aren't showing each other enough respect on the ice, one more dirty play on which the league needs to crack down. But instead, when I turned on the radio, I was dropped into yet another rant about headshots. Let's get serious, radio guys. You had a major slewfoot in your market and you go right back to the well of overplayed topics? Granted, Cam Cole's article on headshots and the Code is brilliant and worth discussing, but if the above video tells me anything, it's that headshots aren't the only way to shorten a guy's career, and the others deserve some discussion as well.

The Vancouver Wellwoods Present "Training is Cheating" & Other Road Hockey News

PITB's favorite road hockey team, the Vancouver Wellwoods, have just released this fantastic video to help promote their team. It is a wonderful illustration of their team motto, "Training is Cheating." Make sure to head to their team page and "Like" the Wellwoods. As we have said before, they are PITB's team and, therefore, they are your team. If you don't like them and what they stand for, then I'm not sure we can be friends.

The National Street Hockey Championship is taking place this Friday and Saturday in Victoria, BC. The Wellwoods will be playing on Friday, February 11th, at 8:40 AM, 11:20 AM, and 2:40 PM. The Saturday schedule has not been released yet. If you're in Victoria this weekend, be sure to head out to the Inner Harbour by the Fairmont Empress Hotel to cheer the Wellwoods on to victory.

In other road hockey news, Pass it to Bulis will be participating in a Canucks Blogger Road Hockey Tournament Extravaganza this Saturday on Granville Street in Vancouver. The Downtown Vancouver Business Improvement Association and Five Hole for Food are setting up street hockey rinks on the corner of Granville and Robson open for anyone to play, with the blogger tournament between Canucks Hockey Blog, Canucks Corner, Head to the Net, and yours truly taking place in the late afternoon. PITB will be playing at 3:00 and 5:00 PM, so stop by to watch and/or play. The Greater Vancouver Food Bank Society will be on site to collect donations, so bring a donation along with your hockey stick.

If that doesn't get you pumped up, maybe a press release about the event will:

Remember the excitement of the pedestrian corridors along Granville & Robson during the 2010 Olympic Games? We do! The Downtown Vancouver BIA and the City of Vancouver are hosting a one-year anniversary celebration on Saturday, February 12 from noon – 9pm to relive the fun that was ‘centre ice’ during the Games.

February 12th marks the one year anniversary of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. The DVBIA has planned numerous of activities and entertainment for the public to enjoy. Some of the activations will include organized street hockey, buskers, flash mobs, a tweet up, CTV broadcasting the news on site, broadcast highlights of the Games and people just hanging out. As a part of the festivities happening on that day, street hockey will be one of the main attractions for the thousands of spectators.

There will also be some integration with Lunar Fest which is happening on the same day as they will parade down Robson and Granville street ending with a fire dance in our hockey rink in the 700 block of Granville Street. The Mint will be open for the day with special Olympic features, and there will be VIP involvement throughout the course of the day including Olympians from last year's games.

Richard Loat
DVBIA Event Organizer

So, in summary: if you're in Victoria, go cheer on the Wellwoods. If you're on the mainland, come watch PITB prove terrible at the very sport they cover. And if you're in another country, we apologize, because Canada is where it's at.

Nardwuar Interviews Alex Burrows

Nardwuar the Human Serviette is one of those love-him-or-hate-him kind of guys. He can be a bit annoying and more than a little twee, but there's definitely no disputing his originality as an interviewer. His unique style has earned him international acclaim, and it's always worth a mention when he sits down with someone. With that in mind, here is a recent interview he did with Alex Burrows.

Even if you find Nardwuar a tad off-putting (like Alex Burrows does, for instance), there's one thing you can never dispute: the guy definitely does his research. He asks Burrows questions about his QMJHL days, his stint in the broadcast booth, obscure Canucks history, and Burr's last NHL fight, which was with Dan Hamhuis. I had completely forgotten about that.

That said, the interview is still awkward as all Hell, because it's Nardwuar. Consider this exchange:

Nardwuar: Tom Larscheid! Bingo Bango...

Burrows: Luongo.

Yeah, not a lot of chemistry there. At least Burrows nailed the "doot doot" in the signoff. Try to ignore how cringy the clip can get at times, because Nardwuar also produces some remarkable gifts for Burr from a backpack full of Canucks memorabilia. Have you ever wondered which former Canuck goaltender has his own pump-up record? Have you ever seen the obscenely poseable Roberto Luongo figurine? Nardwuar and Alex Burrows have got you covered.

Thanks to the Bulies who pointed us to this (especially Michael, who e-mailed us a link). Our apologies for a painfully slow response. We fail.

Ryan Kesler Is a Quiet Leader

The opening goal of Friday night's game versus the Blackhawks is scored when Christian Ehrhoff comes off the bench and immediately steps into a slapshot on the blueline. It beats Marty Turco cleanly. But here is something you might have missed:

We see, in clip above, Ryan Kesler turn back to the bench, seemingly disinterested in the goal that was just scored. He even commits the cardinal sin of leaving Ehrhoff hanging on a high five, instead coolly gesturing to the bench. Ignoring the immense sociological ramifications of being stiffed on a high five (even Gandhi couldn't handle it), what Kesler's issue here?

Well. Kesler takes his assistant captaincy very, very seriously. No time for silly high fives when there's leadership to be done.

It's important to note that this goal happens during a line change. In the IWTG, Skeeter pointed out that Cody Hodgson starts this play when he smartly puts the puck on net, low to Turco's pad, rather than dumping it in. Immediately after doing this, Hodgson initiates a line change and Ryan Kesler replaces him. But, because it's Hodgson's line that scores, Kesler foregoes celebrating the goal to ensure that Hodgson's role in it is acknowledged and the young centre doesn't miss the on-ice goal celebration. He immediately turns back to the bench and tells Hodgson to join his linemates.

It's a small thing, but it shows the selflessness and egality of the Canucks' core guys. It's an admirable moment of quiet leadership that undoubtedly meant a lot to young Hodgson.

Christian Ehrhoff, meanwhile, is still trying to to overcome the commensurate damage to his fragile psyche. Consider his turn as flail snail later in the same game: broken, he desperately tried to high-five Viktor Stalberg's face. Ironically, he may be on the precipice of the same dark times that Cody Hodgson has recently overcome. If you see him, give him a high five. He's one short.

Hat tip to Canucks.com forum member Hodgson99 for catching this one.

Burrows Interviews Bieksa, Unwittingly Reveals Himself as Passionate Romantic

If you haven't seen this fantastic video of Alex Burrows interviewing Kevin Bieksa from ESPN.com, you are missing out. It is remarkably hilarious.

Many stick taps and gloved taps on the helmet to Nucks Misconduct.

Marty Turco Feels the Same Way as Many of Us

I love this clip. I love it because I've often wondered how players feel about resident NHL egghead Pierre McGuire standing between the benches, gushing superlatives and loudly declaring certain player's monsters. For the record: Marty Turco thinks he's a clown.

That said, I also love Pierre McGuire. He's an odd duck, a creepy cat, and he has no idea how personal bubbles work, but he also has some great observations and gets some great responses. Consider, for instance, yesterday's NBC game between the Blackhawks and Flyers. McGuire noticed that the Flyers were sitting back a little, and he asked coach Peter Laviolette directly during a bench interview. The question caught Laviolette off-guard, and he coyly, asked, "Are you sure?," hoping McGuire would back off. McGuire's response: "I'm positive." It was a bizarre moment, but it goaded Laviolette into an impressively honest response: the Flyers had adjusted their system slightly to combat the Blackhawks' speed through the neutral zone. It was a win for McGuire.

The above clip is not a win for McGuire. Neither, by the way, is his choice of eyewear. How a man with such a round head could be convinced that such round glasses were the way to go is beyond me.


Hat tip to Houses of the Hockey, via Puck the Media for the clip.

Mikhail Grabovski's Spinorama is My Favourite Spinorama

Spinning shootout goals have become incredibly overrated. They're no longer uncommon, but each time a player pulls one off, jaws across the country drop. It's nearing cliche territory, as spinning in the shootout seems like a surefire way to make someone gush, even if it has nothing to do with your eventual shot. Suffice it to say, spinning alone no longer impresses me.

But this spinorama does, and what makes it so awesome is that Mikhail Grabovski pulls the puck back to the forehand. It freezes Conklin, who must have seen all the same Youtube clips I have, because he clearly expects Grabs to release on the backhand.

Expect to see this move a few more times, as it seems the natural evolution of a shootout move that is beginning to lose its wow factor. And until this one becomes as common as that one, I'm willing to drop my jaw for it.

The Top 50 Canuck Goals of 2010 (10-01)

And here we are. We've had a fun run, wouldn't you say? We've got 40 goals down and 10 to go in our list of the best Canuck goals of 2010. We're sure you know how this list ends, and we hope you've enjoyed getting there with us, but there are still some surprises in store.

If you're late to this countdown, we recommend you start at the beginning with numbers 50-31.

We at PITB are confident that some of the top ten Canuck goals of 2010 will be obvious choices, some will come as surprises, and some are likely to have been forgotten until right now. So, without further ado, we end our list. After the jump, the 10 best Canuck tallies of the year that was 2010.


10 Henrik Sedin (January 25, 2010)

The 10th best goal of 2010 comes on an incredible breakaway move from Henrik Sedin, as he makes like he's going to the backhand, then puts on the brakes and drags the puck back the other way.

09 Henrik Sedin (April 21, 2010)
Henrik's game-winning playoff goal comes on a fabulous end to end rush by the eldest twin. His stickwork and his skating are top-notch here, and his reaction after scoring the goal--pure, delirious excitement--was priceless. A classic Henrik moment.

08 Daniel Sedin (March 30, 2010)

In one of the finest pieces of wizardous sedinerie of 2010, Alex Burrows gets the puck to Henrik, who swivels for a backpass to his brother. The pass is so perfect and perfectly unexpected that it beats Brzygalov all on its own, and Daniel only needs to slightly graze it in order to redirect it home.

07 Alex Edler (March 07, 2010)

You might not agree with how high this goal is ranked, but Pavol Demitra's soccer kick around the boards is one of the coolest things I've ever seen. After losing his stick in a board battle with Grebeshkov, Demitra just boots the puck as hard as he can. Incredibly, it rings all the way around to Ryan Kesler, who centers to Alex Edler for the tally.

06 Alex Burrows (March 24, 2010)
Number six is similar to number eight, as well as a few others on this list, but I'm giving top marks for aesthetics. This one is executed by Henrik and Daniel so perfectly that Burrows literally has a wide open net; Hiller is no longer in it.

05 Christian Ehrhoff (January 21, 2010)
The 5th best goal of 2010 comes on a fabulous rush through the middle from Christian Ehrhoff. The Sedins pulled off this play a few times in 2010; Ehrhoff's is special because of the speed he comes in with, and for how he kicks the puck to his stick like another great Canuck might have done.

04 Mikael Samuelsson (April 15, 2010)
Mikael Samuelsson scores a big playoff goal here after a Daniel Sedin feed during a goalmouth scramble. The incredible thing about the feed is that it's a kick--Daniel puts the puck right on Sammy's stick with a no-look backheel. Even without hockey sticks, the Sedins pass the puck better than I could ever hope to.




03 Daniel Sedin (January 9, 2010)
Who, on a breakaway, is ever thinking of passing the puck? Only Henrik Sedin, who fools everyone when he cuts across the Kipper's crease, then unexpectedly drops the puck to Daniel for a tap-in.

02 Brad Lukowich (January 25, 2010)

This is almost identical to the goal Christian Ehrhoff scores at number five, except that it's Brad Lukowich, of all people. Daniel's stickwork as he cuts across the zone before making the drop is incredible, and Lukowich's reaction to the score is one of the great goal celebrations of 2010.

01 Daniel Sedin (April 10, 2010)

What more can be said about this goal? Lots, hopefully. On the final game of the season, with an Art Ross trophy hanging in the balance, the Sedins scored one of the most beautiful goals you'll ever see. Nothing I've seen comes close to this. The Score had it listed as the second best sports play of 2010, and I thought even that was about twelve spots too low. This is a once-in-a-lifetime goal from once-in-a-lifetime players. It's the goal of the year, the goal of the decade, and maybe the finest goal ever scored in a Canucks uniform. It's that good.

50-31 - - - - - - - - - - 30-11 - - - - - - - - - - 10-01

The Top 50 Canuck Goals of 2010 (30-11)

The Canucks scored some dazzling goals in 2010, but it will be a brand new year in only a few short days. Who knows what the new year will hold? Now, I don't mean to hit the panic button but, as of this writing, the Canucks are scoreless in 2011. Seriously, don't panic.

While we cross our fingers and hope they can sort that out, PITB has compiled a list of the 50 best goals of the year that was, to ensure fans don't forget how this team spoiled us with their incredibly playmaking. Yesterday we gave you the back twenty of this massive list, and today we give twenty more. After the jump, numbers 30-11 on our list of the top 50 Canuck goals of 2010.


30 Ryan Kesler (March 03, 2010)
Kesler scored this beauty late last season on a strong individual effort. He goes to the net hard, outmuscling three Red Wings and burying it.

29 Alex Burrows (March 03, 2010)
Watch this one a few times. Brad Stuart has solid position on Alex Burrows to prevent him from getting to the net, but Burrows perfectly times his inside move, stepping in front of him and making a gorgeous tip for the goal.

28 Jannik Hansen (December 18, 2010)
A recent tally, Jannik Hansen finished a pretty passing play that begins with Jeff Tambellini beating Luke Schenn wide, and ends with Ryan Kesler stepping around a sprawling Francois Beauchemin to feeding the puck across to Hansen for the score.

27 Aaron Volpatti (December 20, 2010)
Aaron Volpatti's first NHL goal comes off a thunderous bodycheck on Alex Pietrangelo, delivered by Tanner Glass. After the puck pops free, Volpatti is smartly in position to accept the feed from Alex Bolduc.

26 Mason Raymond (December 01, 2010)
Mason Raymond's highest entry on this list comes on a fantastic breakaway move, as he outwaits Kiprusoff, dragging the puck across the crease and roofing a backhand.

25 Alex Burrows (December 12, 2010)
Burrows finishes yet another beautiful Sedin passing play, after Henrik spins, then fires a remarkable tape-to-tape cross-ice feed to his brother, who centers for Burr.

24 Daniel Sedin (November 24, 2010)
It's a testament to the Sedins' remarkable skill that their slap-pass, now so thoroughly perfected they can do it during a scramble at even-strength, falls this low on the list. We take daily these guys for granted.

23 Alex Burrows (January 16, 2010)

Burrows notches a shorthanded tally on his signature breakaway move, after tipping the puck away from Sergei Gonchar and taking off in a hurry.

22 Daniel Sedin (January 30, 2010)

Daniel scores the game-winner in Toronto after he and his brother take the puck end-to-end to cap off a remarkable comeback. It's incredible to me how little space they have, yet they make this look so easy.

21 Daniel Sedin (January 30, 2010)
The game-tying goal from the same game. Daniel receives a beautiful no-look feed from Alex Burrows and slides the puck into a wide-open net.

20 Alex Burrows (March 05, 2010)
Burrows' shot is incredible, but what really makes this play is Daniel's dive to receive this pass. Then, before Brent Seabrook can get to him, Daniel's up and the puck is in Alex Burrows' wheelhouse.

19 Kevin Bieksa (May 09, 2010 )
Kevin Bieksa finishes off a 2-on-1 with an nifty move, keeping the puck on his forehand and tucking it short side on Antii Niemi.

18 Henrik Sedin (December 23, 2010)
In a tight game, this might have been seen as one of the plays of the season, but in a blowout where everyone from the Columbus players to the broadcast team is already checking out, a remarkable play like this is met only with John Garrett's incredulous chuckle.

17 Alex Burrows (January 05, 2010)
Alex Burrows scores a hat-trick goal on a beautiful feed from Ryan Kesler. You have to admire how hard he skates to come out of his own zone with speed, and eventually to get to this puck at the side of the net.

16 Jeff Tambellini (December 22, 2010)
Tambellini's wrister is already a pretty big deal in Vancouver, and this is the best example of why: the space on the short side of Howard is miniscule, but Tamby finds it. It's especially impressive considering he received the pass on the backhand.

15 Kyle Wellwood (January 21, 2010)

The real star of this clip is Steve Bernier who, on the backhand and with one hand on the stick, tips the puck over the stick of his defender to send Wellwood in.

14 Raffi Torres (November 02, 2010)
Give Raffi an A for effort on this one, as he dives at the puck in order to get to it before Theo Peckham, and somehow manages to knock it home.

13 Rick Rypien (January 05, 2010)

I love this goal, because the draw weight on Kyle Wellwood's pass is so unique. He flips a little saucer pass well before Rypien arrives in the zone, but the puck is just sitting there waiting to be wired. Rypien makes no mistake, pouncing on the gift and sending it to the back of the net.

12 Kevin Bieksa (April 10, 2010)
Bieksa is the goal-scorer on this clip, but the real star if Eric Nystrom, who doesn't bother to check anyone. The Sedins look like geniuses here, and they are, but if Nystrom is in position, Bieksa isn't open.

11 Daniel Sedin (April 10, 2010)

Daniel Sedin does something we rarely see from him, as he takes the puck to the net hard, but make sure you also recognize the remarkable tape-to-tape saucer pass that Henrik throws his way to start the play.

50-31 - - - - - - - - - - 30-11 - - - - - - - - - - 10-01

The Top 50 Canuck Goals of 2010 (50-31)

As another year of hockey draws to a close, we at PITB thought this might be a good time to reflect on the wicked wristers, sizzling slapshots, pretty passes, and wizardous sedinerie we've seen from Canucks in the past calendar year. The 2009-10 season, the playoffs, the preseason, and the current season were all full of fabulous plays from former and current Canucks, and we'd be remiss if they were forgotten with little fanfare. Thanks to the remarkable contributions of CanucksHD, however, every one of these plays is sitting on the Youtubes, just waiting for somebody to compile them into a list.

This is that list. Over the next few days, we'll count down the 50 best goals from Canucks in 2010, from Aaron Volpatti's first NHL goal to a number one choice so obvious I'm tempted to end the list at number two. All Youtube videos are embedded so as to localize your time-wasting to this very blog. After the jump, goals 50 -31 of the best of 2010.


50 Jannik Hansen (September 21, 2010)
Jannik Hansen opens our list with the first goal of the preseason, way back in September. After buzzing around in the zone with linemate Jeff Tambellini, and being thwarted on a couple of pretty scoring plays, Hansen takes a beautiful no-look feed from Tamby and buries it short side.

49 Daniel Sedin (March 14, 2010)
The Sedins score so regularly on this exact 2-on-1 situation that it's surprising when the clip doesn't go that way. Instead, they maintain possession after a save, and after Henrik sets up behind the net, Daniel finds the puck on his stick in the slot.

48 Mario Bliznak (November 11, 2010)
Bliznak's first NHL goal was followed by little fanfare because it capped off a blowout win, but it's actually quite impressive, as he bats the puck out of mid-air to put it home.

47 Alex Burrows (November 24, 2010)
Alex Burrows caps off a Sedin scoring play off a turnover. The puck goes from Sedin to Sedin to Burrows in about half a second.

46 Mason Raymond (April 06, 2010)
Mason Raymond keeps the puck on a 2-on-1, wiring a laser of a wrist shot so hard he loses his footing getting it off.

45 Daniel Sedin (January 20, 2010)
Daniel scores an overtime game-winner with some beautiful puck movement on a 4-on-3 powerplay. You can actually pinpoint the moment the Oilers lose: it's when Henrik gets the puck along the wall.

44 Alex Burrows (January 20, 2010)
You'd be forgiven for confusing this clip with the one before it, as they're nearly identical. The Sedins' puck movement is incredible to watch.

43 Mikael Samuelsson (December 26, 2010)
Mikael Samuelsson scores on a seeing-eye feed from Raffi Torres. It's an incredible cross-ice pass, through traffic, and it lands right on Sammy's stick.

42 Manny Malhotra (November 06, 2010)
Manny Malhotra scores a shorthanded goal after some excellent blue line pressure causes Pavel Datsyuk to cough up the puck.

41 Kevin Bieksa (December 26, 2010)
In our most recent clip, Kevin Bieksa scores the game-winner in Edmonton after some excellent work from the Sedins down low. Henrik's play to hook the puck to Alex Burrows is as heady as they come.

40 Alex Burrows (January 7, 2010)
We could have done a top ten countdown of this exact play. After a Phoenix turnover behind their net, the puck is centered and fed across the crease before they know they've lost possession.

39 Alex Burrows (March 16, 2010)
Alex Burrows takes Henrik's no-look feed from behind the net and cuts across the crease with it. A lot of people say Burrows is just a tap-in artist, but this is a skilful move.

38 Mikael Samuelsson (January 25, 2010)
Samuelsson's individual effort here is beautiful, as he jukes out Henrik Tallinder with a couple head fakes before taking the puck to the backhand and shoveling it past Miller.

37 Mikael Samuelsson (April 23, 2010)
Samuelsson scores a big playoff goal as the capper on some wizardous sedinerie. He was incredible in the Los Angeles series, largely due to Henrik and Daniel getting him the puck with room to shoot.

36 Henrik Sedin (January 05, 2010)
Henrik and Daniel team up to score a pretty one on the Blue Jackets, but take a look at Alex Burrows' fantastic interference to give him room in the slot. Way to be a team player, Burr.

35 Sami Salo (January 20, 2010)
Salo is the beneficiary of some great puck movement that leaves him wide open in the slot for a game-tying goal late in the third period.

34 Pavol Demitra (April 08, 2010)
A common theme in this countdown are players finishing off incredible Sedin passing. Demitra's entry is no exception, as Henrik and Daniel do the bulk of the work off the far boards before Demitra roofs it.

33 Ryan Kesler (March 14, 2010)
Kesler scores a powerplay goal after some incredible puck control by Alex Burrows. First, he tries a backpass to the front of the net, and when it's blocked, he holds on, then cuts to the boards, drawing three defenders to him. Then it's another backpass to Kesler for the one-timer.

32 Willie Mitchell (January 16, 2010)
It's Willie Mitchell's turn to be gifted an open shot, as Henrik Sedin works the puck out from behind the net and throw him cross-ice feed. Note Alex Burrows' work screening the defender so the pass can get through.

31 Mikael Samuelsson (November 26, 2010)
Mikael Samuelsson keeps on a 2-on-1, and I love this goal because it takes major hockey smarts to pull it off. Sammy fakes a slapper, getting his defender to turn aside right at the moment Tanner Glass skates past Niemi for the screen.

50-31 - - - - - - - - - - 30-11 - - - - - - - - - - 10-01

Jeff Tambellini Is Pretty Accurate From There

Sometimes, Jeff Tambellini gets the puck in his Magic Shooty Spot, an hypermagical vortex of wonder just above the dot by the right side boards, wherefrom a Tambellini shot equals instant goalification. No one knows why he possesses a connection to this glorious patch of universe, but legend has it, one night, Tambellini dreamt of a darkened arena, and there encountered a hockey demon. Legend further tells of a fight to the death with that same unspeakable hockey evil, won by Tambellini. He won, so says the myth, on that very spot, collapsing the cretinous hockey demon's face with a blow so true his fist went through the walls of three separate planes of existence. The being became a limpid pool of forgotten glory on that very spot, forever imbuing it with a dark imp magic only he who vanquished could know. Anyway, that's just what I've heard. The results speak for themselves:

Exhibit A: Tambellini versus Oilers

Exhibit B: Tambellini versus Red Wings

Exhibit C: Tambellini versus Sharks (preseason)

A Quick Note on Waffles

Sorry Jack, but there is only one Waffle Man and you are not him. Back to the costume shop, bud.

Green Men Talk Vince Vaughn, Prop Comedy on Puck Daddy Radio

In case you missed it, the world-famous Green Men stopped by Puck Daddy radio this afternoon for an interview with the Puck Daddy himself, Greg Wyshynski. Its definitely worth checking out, especially for the story of Vince Vaughn's reaction to a lifesize cardboard cutout that Force and Sully used in last year's playoffs. You might recall that Vaughn had been photoshopped into a Canucks Jersey.

According to the Green Men, Vaughn found it unfunny. So unfunny, in fact, that--in order to destroy it--he bought it, not unlike Charles Wang and the New York Islanders.

Look for a full PITB interview with our favourite two men in Spandex since the Ambiguously Gay Duo later this week.

Thanks to Wysh for the tip.

Kevin Bieksa Will Drag His Knuckles Across Your Face

Often lost in the ongoing dispute over Kevin Bieksa's defensive ability is his extraordinary knack for fisticuffs. Juice (so called because he likes pineapple juice, but also conveniently fits with his predisposition to rage) has had a reputation as a fighter to be avoided since he broke into the NHL by one-punching arrogant and highly-disliked prospect Fedor Fedorov in a parking lot. Canucks' management was pleased with this, likely because A) toughness is never unwanted, and B) Fedorov had been asking for it for awhile.

Since then, the long-held opinion has been that Kevin Bieksa--like Bruce Banner--is not your friend when he's angry. He's also an entertaining scrapper, sometimes beginning spats with a GSP-style Superman punch. Early in his career, Bieksa was often compared to Ed Jovanovski, a contrast that wasn't quite accurate, hockey-wise. It was apt, however, during fights: Jovanovski was generally to be avoided because he punched to concuss (just ask Adam Deadmarsh); Bieksa is similarly spirited when he trots out the knuckles. He fights to win. There is rarely any debate over his contributions to Vancouver when he resorts to violence.

Speaking of fighting and winning, he's already done so twice this season, both times decisively walloping his opponents (Kevyn Adams and Aaron Voros, respectively). Canuck fans treated both affairs as a rare treat, but in the big picture, he's actually fought 27 times in six seasons as a Canuck.

And, according to HockeyFights.com, he trends towards indisputable victory. Of those 27 fights, according to his fight card (where winners are determined through voting) he's 24-1-2. Put another way: in six years, he's lost only 2 times, and of those two, neither was overly decisive. His wins are much more so. Of his 24 wins, 15 have garnered at least 70% of the vote, with 8 garnering 90% or more. The verdict? Bieksa will crush you. After the jump, exhibits A through E:

Kevin Bieksa vs. Aaron Voros (December 8, 2010)

Kevin Bieksa vs. Alexandre Picard (October 21, 2008)

Kevin Bieksa vs. Craig Adams (October 22, 2007)

Kevin Bieksa vs. Karl Stewart (February 7, 2007)

Kevin Bieksa vs. JF Jacques (December 4, 2006)

Bieksa averages about five fights a season, so we can be expectant that he'll drop the gloves a few more times before April. That is, unless nobody else wants a concave face.

Memories of Markus: I'm a Big Sentimental Wuss

About three years ago my friend gave me his old Playstation 2 and I immediately set out to find one of EA Sports' NHL games for it. I lived relatively sparely while going to university and hadn't played an NHL video game in years. A nearby video store had NHL 2004 cheap, so I picked it up, excited to play a season as the Canucks, one that would play out much differently than the Canucks actual 2003-04 season.

I loaded up the game and the above video was the first thing I saw. I immediately started crying. I'm a little ashamed to admit that, but it's true. Naslund and Bertuzzi were well-known to be good friends, and seeing them together, well before the Steve Moore incident, just smiling, laughing, and joking around, caught me completely off-guard. Even watching it now I get a little misty-eyed. By the time I saw this brief little clip of joviality, Todd Bertuzzi was no longer a Canuck and Naslund's play had slipped and the copious criticisms from the fickle fanbase had begun. This flashback to a happier time brought out the sentimental wuss in me.

And then the game froze every time I tried to start playing. So the only memory I have of NHL 2004 is crying like a baby. Thanks a lot, EA. After the jump, more Markus.

Darren Pang, With the Most Unfortunate Verbal Gaffe Ever

In case you missed it, this is Darren Pang from last night on TSN. In the clip, Pang lands perhaps the most unfortunate slip of the tongue since that time Lorraine Baines tried to park with Marty McFly, when he compares Alex Pietrangelo's quiet class to P.K. Subban's chirping, declaring that Pietrangelo plays "the white way."

Obviously, he meant to say "the right way." I feel terrible for him. I'm laughing a little too, of course. But it's a gentle laughter.

Now I've been holding my tongue on the P.K. Subban issue, but I'll take this opportunity to talk about it (sorry, Panger). The furor around P.K. Subban isn't going to go away. First, because P.K. Subban is a very, very good player, and second, because Subban is a completely different breed of hockey personality. He's flashy and arrogant in a way few are, and it doesn't help his cause that he's black. Other hockey players play with swagger too, but when P.K. Subban sports that swagger, it's hip hop. As a result, it's hard to put Subban's blackness aside-- it's a major element of his playing style. Worse, it's hard not to consider the role that plays when people talk about how he needs to earn respect.

Subban's blackness will continue to be an issue in the same way that Ray Emery's was. These are black athletes with hip hop swagger in hockey; they stand out like a sore thumb. Worse, they're stars in Canadian markets, where the coverage is vast, and, frankly, most hockey fans and media guys aren't really sure how much they're allowed to notice what's so plainly evident.

But worst of all, they're both jerks. It's hard to point that out without being labelled a racist. There was a brilliant episode of 30 rock on this once.

Anyway, as a result, coverage of Subban has become very, very sensitive. (Crap like this doesn't help). Nobody wants to be the racist. As Greg Wyshynskhi pointed out:

[This incident] does speak to some hypersensitivity in coverage in Subban, who is quickly becoming one of the most prominent black players in the NHL.

For example, CBC analyst Glenn Healy's words were scrutinized in the Globe & Mail after he said Subban was having "none of this monkey business" during a scrum. Columnist Bruce Dowbriggin wrote: "the incident illustrates the new sensitivities of modern broadcast etiquette in Canada’s multiracial culture."

Very true. But the Panger incident is different. He didn't break some sort of modern etiquette rule; he just had an Elmer Fudd moment. Later in the show, the panel briefly addressed the issue. Panger: "I feel terrible. I've got a knot in my stomach; it was an honest mistake, and I mixed up my words, obviously." Darren Pang is no racist. Heck, he's the star of the Urban Dictionary. Urban! But seriously, he's no more a racist than Ron Maclean is the grand marshall of Mardi Gras.

Edit: For a different take on this, check out Angie Lewis at All We Do is Puck, who takes issue with the things Pang said leading up to the gaffe:

Well, notice how Pang, and of course everybody else comments on Subban's behavior, need of "settling him down." The same conversation has happened with Russian Alex Ovechkin's personality and party-boyish ways. While it is understandable in the case of Subban in a community where everyone else doesn't act the way he does that he should be mindful of this for the betterment of his team, it is still troublesome that he has to do so.

This all goes under this concept of "conformity"... the idea that the right, proper way to do everything is to assimilate by conforming to the Anglo-Canadian style of play, attitude, training, etc. And this concept appears in many forms in our daily lives, and it is hard to detect by others on the outside because of the idea of privilege... unfortunately, this is All We Do Is Puck and not sociology class, so I won't explain all of it here, but it is something to be aware of.

There's definitely something to this, though I don't entirely agree with Lewis. To my mind, conformity is a team sports convention. I don't like it (it's partly why weirdly adorable Kyle Wellwood is playing in Russia and, as Lewis points out, it's certainly caused Alex Ovechkin undue grief), but it's not solely racial. Conformity attacks difference of all sorts.

That said, I've spoken to Angie Lewis on Twitter, and we both agree that no one seems quite sure what to do with P.K. Subban, and where his personality and his blackness intersect. This won't be the last we hear of this issue.