The Dreaded Two-Goal Lead: Rick Rypien Has a Beard Now

"I've never been more excited about hockey, now that I have this beard."

Canucks news comes fast and furious, and sometimes we find ourselves playing catchup. Thankfully, the Dreaded Two Goal Lead--often called "the worst lead in hockey"--is super easy to come back from. Everybody knows it's a guaranteed death sentence for those that hold it. Well, much like an ice hockey team coming from two goals down, PITB will now effortlessly catch up.

• Rick Rypien Returns From Personal Leave of Absence With a Beard

Rick Rypien has resurfaced after a lengthy leave of absence, and he appears to have received some counseling from Conan O'Brien. How else to explain his wicked new beard? If there's one lesson that Conan's taught us, it's that the best way to return is with a big patch of scruff. Last Tuesday, Rypien spoke to the media for the first time in months, saying he's "never been more excited about hockey." The Canucks announced that Ryp has joined the Moose on a conditioning assignment and may be granted special permission, under the circumstances, to stay in the AHL longer than the usual two weeks. Unless he really impresses, expect him to remain in Winnipeg for the rest of the season. For fans outside of Manitoba, you can probably follow Rypien's every shift at hockeyfights.com.

• Daniel Sedin Finally Gets an Acknowledgement His Brother Doesn't, Still Manages to Come in Second
  

Wherein the universe continues its conspiracy to make Daniel Sedin the evil twin. After surging to the top of the NHL scoring race with 3 goals and 5 assists in the past week to put him at 89 points on the season (six clear of his brother, with whom he has a longstanding blood feud), Daniel Sedin was named NHL.com's second star of the week. Poor Daniel can't get a clean win. They may as well have dumped a bucket of chicken blood on his head. Expect either an Art Ross or a fullscale psychic meltdown for Daniel by the season's end.

• Tanner Glass Has a Secret Injury

Tanner Glass sat out the Calgary game with a mysterious injury, and will miss tonight's as well. Apparently, he's been playing through this injury for awhile. Is it a wrist injury? My handshake is pretty strong. Likely not, but we've got no choice but to speculate, especially after all the Canucks recently entered a Glass cone of silence. (Note: this is a metaphorical cone of silence regarding Glass, not a literal cone made of Glass.) Jason Botchford reported that, when asked about it, Jeff Tambellini pointed to his lower abdomen. What the crap? There may be a conspiracy of vagueness in the locker room, but don't just blame the players; the media is an accomplice here. Seriously, Botch, where on his lower abdomen did Tamby point? Does that qualify as an obscene gesture?

• Kevin Bieksa is On the Mend
  

Dan Murphy recently tweeted that Kevin Bieksa, out for three weeks with a broken foot, skated with the team today and could play as early as Wednesday. Then the real controversy will start. Who comes out? Rome or Tanev? Ha ha, just kidding, it'll be Keith Ballard.

• Keith Ballard Pranks His Pants By Neglecting to Hem Them

Poor Keith Ballard is having a rough season. He can't even dress himself properly. According to Christine, who runs the blog Play Me That Ballard, the Canucks' resident prankster has apparently been pranking his wardrobe all season long. Christine recently noticed that Hips has a tendency to disregard legs, rolling up his pantlegs like a nine-year-old. Considering that Ballard's sizable contract has been a topic du jour all season, you'd think he'd have the pocket change to pay a tailor. But maybe he can't reach his pockets because of how poorly tailored his pants are to begin with? Or maybe he's just bad at dressing himself. The Canucks had meal plans made up for Kyle Wellwood, so I'm sure they can find someone to lay out Ballard's clothes for the next day.

• Chris Higgins Was On After Hours

And, in case you missed it, here's Chris Higgins on After Hours, featuring a gratuitous closeup of his mangled thumb, if you're into that sort of thing. I'll bet the Canucks are. After the Canucks started the season with a fourth-liner guy that treated his thumb with callous disregard, Chris Higgins healthy respect for a healthy thumb is likely a welcome change. Here's the whole video:

The Dreaded Two-Goal Lead: It Ate Everybody

Canucks news comes fast and furious, and sometimes we find ourselves playing catchup. Thankfully, the Dreaded Two Goal Lead--often called "the worst lead in hockey"--is super easy to come back from. Everybody knows it's a guaranteed death sentence for those that hold it. Well, much like an ice hockey team coming from two goals down, PITB will now effortlessly catch up.

• Harold Snepsts' Moustache (and Harold Snepsts, by Association) To the Ring of Honour

The Canucks announced early on Wednesday morning that Harold Snepsts would be the fourth former Canuck to see his name in the Ring of Honour. Snepsts is a worthy recipient, currently holding the franchise records for games played and penalty minutes. Also, he looked like this. I've heard criticism that Snepsts, a depth guy of sorts, doesn't deserve the honour--that if he didn't look the way he did, he might not be remembered as fondly. Well, Halle Berry endured similar criticism, and she's got an Oscar. Admittedly, Snepsts' look did give him a certain notoriety, but you can't fault a guy for riding his remarkable unattractiveness into the annals of Canucks' history. Somewhere, Brent Sopel is wondering if the same strategy could work twice.

• The Monster That Ate Everybody Ate Kevin Bieksa

News broke early this morning that Kevin Bieksa might be the latest devouree of The Monster That Ate Everybody, the creature that's picking offf Canucks' defenseman at a rate of one per game. It turns out that, Tuesday night in Minnesota, when Bieksa stepped in front of the large rubber disc traveling at approximately 100 miles per hour, he got hurt. Juice reportedly has a foot fracture that may keep him out of the lineup, and Evan Oberg has been recalled. Jeff Paterson points out that, if Bieksa doesn't go, Christian Ehrhoff will have 7 more NHL games played this season than the rest of the Canucks active d-corps combined. Hopefully, this occurs to Ehrhoff before he jumps into the rush.

• Surgeries For Everybody!

If you're looking for good news on the defensive front, the best anyone can do is report that everyone's surgeries went well. Edler's back surgery was successful, and Andrew Alberts' wrist surgery was as well. Normally, this wouldn't be big news, but I imagine that the recent string of bad luck had everyone a little concerned something would go wrong on the operating table. Example: Alex Edler blocked a shot during the procedure and wound up being awake through the whole thing. He's out indefinitely with incoherent rambling. Seriously, though, the way they're doling out surgeries these days, the Canucks' doctors must feel a bit like Dr. Nick Riviera. Rumour has it every patient got a free nose job.

• Ian White Not Traded to the Canucks; Everyone But Ian White is Relieved

And finally, perhaps you heard the yesterday's non-news that Ian White had been traded to the Canucks. Obviously, he hadn't, and the news was actually just a Twitter rumour that spread out of control, but still, it was scary for awhile. Reports circulated that Jannik Hansen was headed the other way, and everyone freaked out a little, which is a testament to how far Hansen has come. He wasn't a lock to make this team in the preseason. Now he's a vital cog. Anyway, the news was eventually debunked by way of a Mike Gillis tweet, which is impressively progressive, from one perspective. On the other hand, others suggested Gillis simply did it that way because he didn't want to take a call from TSN.

The Dreaded Two-Goal Lead: Cody Hodgson Broke His Face

Canucks news comes fast and furious, and sometimes we find ourselves playing catchup. Thankfully, the Dreaded Two Goal Lead--often called "the worst lead in hockey"--is super easy to come back from. Everybody knows it's a guaranteed death sentence for those that hold it. Well, much like an ice hockey team coming from two goals down, PITB will now effortlessly catch up.

• Cody Hodgson Breaks His Face

Another day, another reason to panic about Canucks' top prospect Cody Hodgson. Fresh off a string of positive results and reports, the young center's luck took another negative turn when he took a high stick to the face in practice. Things got even worse when it turned out he had a chip and a crack in his orbital bone. And, since it wouldn't be a Cody Hodgson story without a smattering of uncertainty and a vast array of conflicting reports, nobody's sure whether he'll be undergoing a facial surgery that would keep him out long-term or hoping it heals naturally so that he can return to the lineup in two weeks or so, in full face-shield. Word is he's going for the non-surgery option, but if it doesn't heal properly, he'll have to undergo the surgery anyhow, just two weeks delayed. It's complicated. Once again, the situation required a specialist's opinion. Tip to aspiring specialists: befriend Cody Hodgson. He'll call a lot.

• Canucks sign Darren Archibald

You've probably never heard of Darren Archibald, and that's because, like John Wayne, he was never drafted. Archibald's potential probably tops out as a third-line winger, but any time the Canucks get a guy with NHL potential for free, it's tough to complain. Not impossible. Just tough. Archibald, a 20-year-old from Newmarket, Ontario, is a 6'3", 195 lb. left winger with his own Hockey Fights page, so you know he's got power forward potential. He's also got 51 goals and 57 assists in 125 games with the OHL's Barrie Colts, so you know he can score a little. Word is that he's a "complete player," which is nice, although that term can also be a nice way to say he isn't particularly good at anything.

We're still waiting for one of Gillis's under-the-radar signings to really pay off, but you can't argue with his Eye of Sauron approach to building the prospect pool. He'll take a potential NHLer from anywhere. But it's also worth noting that the Canucks weren't Archibald's only suitor (Archibalds always have more than one suitor). He chose to come to Vancouver. That's a regular story these days.

• Jordan Schroeder Got Hurt Also

Yes, lost in the terror that is Cody Hodgson's latest intriguing ailment was Jordan Schroeder also suffering an injury, after an opponent fell on his ankle 6:47 into the second. He was seen on crutches after the game. The good news? The Canucks' medical staff had crutches on hand (sometimes they're tough to track down when you need them). Things don't appear to be too serious for Schroeder, although he's missed a couple games now and figures to miss a few more. A full report on his injury hasn't been issued yet.

Before Canuck fans panic too much, let's recall that we have other prospects who aren't in the sick bay. In fact, lost in the shuffle of all this doom and gloom is the positive news that Billy Sweatt has actually passed Cody Hodgson in team scoring, and now sits one point behind Sergei Shirokov for the team lead.

• Canucks Waive Guillaume Desbiens

That said, the farm is down a few forwards. To help the cause, the Canucks have tried to get big right-winger Guillaume Desbiens through waivers. That said, you have to wonder when and if Desbiens will be back in a Canucks uniform this season. As fourth-line grit goes, he had a bit of a fail when he forgot how to punch, and he didn't accomplish much else while he was here. He's been good to go for a few games but hasn't gotten a start. You have to wonder if the Canucks would risk losing him for nothing if they weren't more okay with the possibility now than at the start of the season.

It's interesting that Desbiens has been healthy, but couldn't get back into the lineup, especially in place of call-up Jonas Andersson. Andersson doesn't require waivers to be sent down, but the Canucks were willing to take their chances with Desbiens. Don't look now, but Jonas Andersson may have quietly won Desbiens' job.

The Dreaded Two-Goal Lead, Vol. 1: NHL Awards Review

This feature is titled "The Dreaded Two-Goal Lead" because everybody knows that having a two-goal lead at any point in a hockey game is a guaranteed loss. Two-goal leads are impossibly easy to come back from. In this case, I haven't written much on PiTB since the Canucks were ousted from the playoffs, and there's a lot to catch up on. Much like an ice hockey team coming from two goals down, I'm going to catch up effortlessly, starting right now.

This feature is numbered Volume 1 because I imagine this won't be the last time I fall a bit behind in my coverage. I'm a writer who loves the Vancouver Canucks, and my urge to give away my writing for free wanes when my team isn't winning. But enough is enough. Things have been happening, and my opinion on these things must be known, even if I have to... self-motivate.


Henrik Sedin won the Hart


Did you hear about this? Yeah. It was pretty big news. Faced with some pretty stiff competition in Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin, Henrik Sedin went all HenKik on them, dispatching the NHL's two best players like they were twin Blankas. The most interesting thing about his speech, I think, was when he thanked every player that had mentored he and Daniel over the years. It was neat hearing him name Trent Klatt alongside Trevor Linden, Matthias Ohlund, Markus Naslund, and it's a validation of media reports that these guys really went out of their way to acclimatize, educate and develop Daniel and Henrik. Hats off to the entire Canucks organization for this trophy win, as growing a player, over a decade, from the draft to the Hart is no easy feat and it's not done alone. Henrik's speech hinted at this beautifully and it was a great moment for Canucks fans everywhere. I'm still not convinced he deserved to win, but why gripe now that we have the league's most valuable player for 4 million less per year than Ilya Kovalchuk (allegedly) wants?

I'll gripe briefly. The Ted Lindsay Award and the Hart trophy rarely sync up. Is that not strange? Is the disparity between "league's best player" and "team's most valuable player" really that large? Apparently, yes. Let's be honest. The vague wording of the Hart trophy means that I could argue for anybody from Henrik Sedin to Miikka Kiprusoff as its winner. In relative terms, Kiprusoff could have more individual impact on the Flames than Henrik had on the Canucks. Obviously, the Canucks were the better team, and Henrik's impact is far more statisically measurable, but still, the wording for the award leaves this wide open. That the argument for Henrik rested primarily on this phrasing proves that the phrasing isn't the greatest, not that Henrik is. Semantics aside, I am over the moon for Hank. And speaking of wording, will somebody please tell Jacques Lemaire that Sedin doesn't rhyme with redden?

Ryan Kesler did not win the Selke

Let's be honest: in some sense, this was the best season of Ryan Kesler's career, but in another sense, 2010 has probably been the worst year of his life, what with all the heartbreaking losses he's suffered after coming so frigging close. The Selke, the playoffs, the Olympic gold medal game... this is a guy that hates to lose, and did nothing but losing, humiliatingly, all season long. And nobody wanted it more. As an avid Settlers of Catan player, I understand this all too well. It's like having no wheat, or having the thief on your only source of wheat, when all you need to win the game is one effing wheat. Could Keith Ballard be that wheat?

I might be more unhappy about the Selke voting than I am about the Hart. I don't know that Kesler deserved this award, but I do think that Pavel Datsyuk won this award on reputation. Granted, his takeaway numbers are the highest, but that's because he's a shifty bugger, not because he's the best defensive forward in the NHL. I'd give this more explanation, but why don't you read this post at Kukla's Korner instead.

Also, this Video Was Pretty Funny


Yes, yes it was. Ryan Getzlaf's deadpan delivery was hilarious. Bobby Ryan's petulance was also quite amusing. I think my favourite moment was when Getzlaf uses Ryan's medal as a coaster, and then says to him, "Sorry, I didn't' recognize it, it wasn't gold." Good on these two to agree to do this, as it was the highlight of an NHL awards show that should have been hosted by Aziz Ansari and not Jay Mohr. Just saying.

Here's hoping that this isn't the last awards show to prominently feature some Canucks. Next year, I'd like to see Luongo return to Vezina form, Hodgson or Schroeder get some Calder consideration, and Shane O'Brien tone up so much he gets a nod for the Masterton. And come on, if he's back wearing the Orca, it's about time that Welly got some love for the Lady Byng. He;s so soft, when he goes into the corners, he serves his opponents glasses of water fresh from a mountain stream, like in that Van Morrison song.