I Watched This Game: Canucks at Thrashers, March 25, 2011

Canucks 3 -1 Thrashers

Seemingly lacking in motivation, the Canucks were not what you would call "good" against the Thrashers. They were, however, good enough, which is all that was necessary. With the victory, the Canucks set a franchise record for points in a season, with 7 games still left to play. Unfortunately, Daniel Sedin had his point streak halted at 9 games and 16 points, but secondary and tertiary scoring stepped up to fill the void. And, despite the two-goal lead being the worst lead in hockey, the Canucks sat back, rolled their lines, and dared the Thrashers to come back. The Thrashers did not. I watched them fail. I watched this game:

• It should be awfully clear by now that the Sedins are terrible at penalty shots. With his first period failure, Daniel Sedin is now 0 for 4 in that situation in his career. You just know that Daniel wished he could decline the penalty shot in favor of the two-minute powerplay: Please can I have some teammates and opponents on the ice? Please? Actually, that's not a bad idea: in football you can refuse a penalty and take the result of the play instead. You should be able to refuse a penalty shot and take the powerplay instead, especially when you have the number one powerplay and your opponent has the worst penalty kill in the league.

• My theory on why the Sedins are ineffective in the shootout: one of their main weapons is their renowned patience. They constantly pass up what appear to be prime scoring chances in order to create better ones. A shootout is anathema to them: you get one chance, you can only skate in one direction, and there's no one to pass to. A Sedin with a penalty shot is a little like a mule with a spinning wheel.

• After five games without a point, Mason Raymond scored the opening goal with an assist from Raffi Torres and Chris Mason's five-hole. Torres makes a great play to intercept a pass in the defensive zone, attracts the attention of an overeager Johnny Oduya, slips a perfect pass to the streaking Raymond, then drives hard to the net, creating a perfect distraction for Chris Mason. Mark Stuart did a poor job taking away the pass, meaning Mason (of the Chris variety) had to stay open to the possibility of the pass. People will call this a weak goal and, to a certain extent, it is, but blame has to be put on the defense as well for playing the situation so poorly.

• Raymond's goal seemed to give him a shot of confidence with sugar on the rim. He seemed to be everywhere on the ice and seemed to be developing some chemistry with Chris Higgins, who was originally thought to be a potential replacement for Raymond. Instead, Samuelsson may find himself bumped down to the third line if Raymond and Higgins heat up. Higgins brings a very different set of skills to the second line, as he tends to work harder and play with more grit, where Samuelsson has more patience and vision. Vigneault may have a tough time valuing his options: should he go with the Black-Scholes model or the Heston model?

• Keith Ballard has figured out the secret to getting more icetime than Aaron Rome: play on the same pairing as him and skate more slowly to the bench. Ballard had a great game, making several key defensive plays early, hitting Daniel Sedin and Victor Oreskovich with perfect outlet passes, and finishing, with Rome, a game-high +2. He played 16:41, a full 37 seconds more than Rome. Clearly a big step.

• Victor Oreskovich showed tonight why Gillis wanted him included in the Ballard trade. He played a physical game, logging 2 hits and winning battles along the boards, but he also showed some deft hands, getting off 2 shots and making a number of nice passes. His setup of the Bolduc goal, however, was merely an okay pass, enabled by the perfect outlet by Ballard. Also an okay pass: Want to see my final four?

• So that covers the second and first assist: now to the goal itself. Alex "Howard Moon" Bolduc scored the eventual gamewinning goal with a gorgeous backhand. I haven't seen anyone with a backhand that devastating since Eve Cleary. Bolduc looked his absolute Moon-iest in his postgame interview with Dan Murphy, as seen above, not to be confused with my co-writer at PITB, who is at his Mooney-est at all times.

• Christian Ehrhoff had a bit of a rough game: his giveaway on the Thrashers' lone goal was thoroughly unfortunate. It did, of course, give Roberto Luongo another chance to put the Snack Goal Principle to work. While Mason Raymond came just short of a defensive play for the ages, Luongo instead decided to try falling over, an unorthodox goaltending technique to say the least. I don't think it will replace the butterfly anytime soon.

• Evander Kane was remarkable, so here's a remark: like an overzealous mob boss, he was putting a hit on everyone. He was only credited with 4 hits, while Dustin Byfuglien was credited with 6, but Kane's hits were certainly more noticeable. Kane was easily the best Thrasher, making an impact every time he stepped on the ice.

• Alex Burrows picked up his 22nd goal of the season with a shorthanded empty netter. Hurray!

• The subject of the first intermission feature was Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis, who looked kind and approachable in his nice suit with a golden tie. The last time he drew that much attention to himself was as a volunteer rodeo clown for the American Junior Rodeo when he played for Nashville.

• As pointed out by Harrison: this is the 12th time this season that a Canuck goalie has lost a shutout in the third period and the 8th time within the game's last ten minutes. It's the only reason Luongo isn't in the top 5 of every major goaltending category: he leads the league in wins and is third in GAA and SV%, but only has 3 shutouts. He made some simply unfair saves, as seen in the video above, some of them more absurd than a baby monkey riding backwards on a pig.

• Finally, because I know everyone will want to talk about it: the refs weren't great tonight. The Canucks did not get a single powerplay, despite there being many potential candidates, some provided by the Byfuglienian one himself, Dustin Byfuglien. That said, there's no conspiracy: the referees were not instructed to avoid giving the Canucks powerplays so that a team in a non-traditional hockey market wouldn't be embarrassed by the best team in the league. It would be career suicide for anyone in the NHL front office to try something like that as it would surely be leaked by someone. I can't imagine Gary Bettman or any of his cronies taking that kind of risk. Sometimes refs just do a bad job. It happens, especially in a meaningless game like this one.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Red Wings, March 23, 2011

Canucks 2 - 1 Red Wings

Anyone hoping for another game of the year candidate between the two best teams in the Western Conference was likely a little let down by last night's affair, which saw both teams play hard--just not too hard. With only ten games to go in the regular season, the Canucks and the Red Wings have begun looking forward to the playoffs, which means approaching these final matches cautiously and ensuring everyone is healthy and ready for the next set of games that will matter. Unsurprisingly, then, this game was decided by who played and who didn't, as Pavel Datsyuk's absence rendered Detroit notably less dangerous, and Daniel Sedin's presence, after rushing back to join the team for reasons of his own, made the difference. Dank scored both Vancouver goals. And, just as Daniel was determined to play in this game, I was equally determined to watch it. The good news is that we both succeeded. I watched this game:

• How can you tell the outcome of this game was secondary to injury avoidance while playing it? The piddly number of blocked shots. Detroit and Vancouver had a measly 13 between them. The Canucks had four. Two of those were attributed to Alex Bolduc, which makes a lot of sense. Bolduc is likely the only player in the Canucks lineup with any motivation to block shots. He'll be lucky if he gets many more chances to prove be should be part of the playoff roster; he's got no choice but to tempt fate and try to impress. Meanwhile, the Red Wings had nine blocked shots, but four of them were from Niklas Kronwall, who apparently didn't get the memo. This might be the only time of the year when coaches are begging players not to sacrifice their bodies, and guys are diving away from shots like synchronized swimmers.

• Speaking of Alex Bolduc, do you think he should send Gord Miller a box of chocolates with a captioned photo of himself at the bottom? For the entirety of the night, Miller kept calling him Andre. That is incorrect. "Alex" is Bolduc's first name. "Andre" is a precocious baby sea lion.

• Roberto Luongo was fantastic, as he has been for much of the season. After a slow start to the year, likely attributed to the adjustments called for by new goalie coach Rollie Melanson, Funny Bob has been fairly consistent all year. Courtesy Jason Botchford: he hasn't been pulled once in 2011, and he's let in 4 goals only one time. Luongo is now first in the NHL in wins, third in SV%, fourth in GAA, and leading the Canucks towards a first ever Jennings trophy. Put succinctly: he's good. In last night's affair, he made 39 saves, (several of the category amazeballs) and he kept the Canucks in the game during a one-sided first period and a few intense third-period assaults. He appears to be on his game heading into the playoffs, and this can only be a good thing, unless it turns out his game is shuffleboard.

• Don't get me started on his lack of shutouts. It should be obvious to everyone that Luongo always purposefully lets in one, so the team won't be too hungry next time. It's called The Snack Goal Principle.

• You'd have thought Daniel Sedin would be jet-lagged or something, but the in-flight movie was The Last Airbender, so he got a lot of sleep. One day after his wife gave birth to a new baby girl, Daniel scored both the opening goal and the game-winner, proving that witnessing the miracle of life makes you a better hockey player. Someone send Toronto a DVD of Knocked Up. With the two points, Daniel pushed his lead over Steven Stamkos to nine, impressed the Eastern Hart voters who only watch games in their time zone, and, more importantly, maintained the seven-point gap between he and that gloryhog Henrik. Daniel's first goal, banked off the skate of Niklas Lidstrom (akin to dunking on Lebron James), was the 12th time this season he's potted the game's first goal. No wonder he has more kids than his brother; he initiates more scoring.

• The best goal of the game was the Canucks' powerplay game-winner (above). Take some time to watch what all five members do. Salo and Ehrhoff pass the puck back and forth, trying to open up lanes for a point shot. They both get a clear shot, but neither gets through. When the Wings look to get the puck out, Salo pinches, Ehrhoff takes off to the red line to cover him. Kris Draper gets to the puck, he sees Salo coming. Worse, Henrik has already gotten into his clearing lane, so he turns back, then makes a poor clearing attempt, which Henrik recovers anyway. While all of is going on, Ryan Kesler is causing absolute havoc in front. First, he topples over Jimmy Howard, causing Howard to lose his stick. No call, because Howard's way out of his crease and he initiates the contact by diving for the puck. Then, Kesler takes Brad Stuart's legs out with a subtle drive-by trip. No call again, because conspiracies against the Canucks are topped only by conspiracies against the Red Wings. Niklas Kronwall tries to shade over and take away a pass to Kesler, but this opens up a stupid amount of room for Henrik and Daniel, who just pound away with the same cross-ice pass and one-timer until there's simply too much chaos to overcome, and the puck goes in. Color me impressed. And Badd.

• I wonder if there was ever a plan to ease Kevin Bieksa back into the lineup, because if there was, someone screwed up bigtime. Juice played the most minutes of any Canuck at 23:19, immediately returning to his top pairing with Dan Hamhuis. Bieksa played excellent, although he looked a little shaky on his skates, at times, including one icing call where Valteri Filppula gave him a late nudge and he fell into the boards. The best part of that incident was when the two linesman skated in to separate the men, and Bieksa, while standing right between them, slashed Filppula in the calf. Are you surprised? This is a guy who punched out a teammate during his first training camp. Kevin "Stagger Lee" Bieksa would shoot a man in a crowded saloon in a dispute over a hat. He's so badass.

• Bieksa did get a reprieve from the night's toughest assignment, however, as Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis took Bieksa's regular job of battling with Tomas Holmstrom in front. He did an admirable job, too, twice alleviating Detroit zone pressure by taking Holmstrom off the ice with a penalty. It was nice of Hamhuis to give Bieksa the night off; he took a beating for him, much like the time he recovered that old lady's purse from that unruly street gang, or the time he saved that young woman from those pipe wrench-wielding thugs.

• Victor Oreskovich had a good game, highlighted by one stellar 2nd period shift during which he set up three quality scoring chances from behind the net. First he muscled out in front for two shots. Then he made a beautiful centring pass. Then when the puck came back to him, he made a tape-to-tape pass to the point. This is likely the only time Oreskovich will ever receive this adjective, but it was positively Malkinesque. Nothing came of it, but it was nice to see flashes of NHL hands from the big man. That said, because they were under gloves, we don't know that they were actually his hands. They could have been the devil's hands. I've seen this before. Has he suddenly improved at playing the holophonor?

• Ryan Kesler was the big faceoff winner, going 13-for-18 in the circle, including 11-for-13 in the offensive zone. Curiously, however, he didn't take a single draw in the neutral zone. Apparently Kesler, like sparkling wine, is only for special occasions. Of the 12 faceoffs between the blue lines, Henrik took six, and Lapierre and Bolduc took three apiece.

• Raffi Torres had three hits, but you'd think he was out for the season too. I feel like I haven't seen him since Malhotra went down. He clearly drew a lot of confidence from playing with Manny, and now he's going to have to dig deep and discover it was inside him all along, or something. But Manny Malhotra died over thirty years ago...

• With the win over Detroit, the Canucks only need to win three of their final eight to win the Western Conference. It seems a foregone conclusion at this point, especially since they still haven't dropped two consecutive regulation games since November, and even alternating wins and losses to keep this trend alive means they'll win four. May as well start stitching that banner.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Coyotes, March 18, 2011

Canucks 1 - 3 Coyotes

A goaltender's duel is nowhere near as much fun as it sounds (just ask Rick DiPietro). Despite the picture you have in your mind, in reality, neither goalie draws pistols, nobody walks paces, and nobody is slapped with a glove. Furthermore, there is never any threat to the United States Secretary of the Treasury. Suffice it to say, there's really nothing thrilling about it. Instead, the two duellers stand 200 feet from each other the whole night (much too far to accurately fire a Wogdon Duelling Pistol), and conspire to prevent any action. Really, this was less of a duel, and more of a bad boxing match, in that the two competitors battled to a draw and eventually the officials had to step in and decide the match for them. A bit disappointing, this one. I watched this game:

• Before I take a few more jabs at tonight's uneven reffing, let me be clear: the Canucks lost this game because their 5-on-3 couldn't capitalize and because Jason "The Barbera" LaBarbera was incredible. He made 46 saves tonight. Forty-six. The only Canucks that didn't have shots on goal were Keith Ballard and Aaron Rome, and eight players had three or more. Jason LaBarbera stopped all but one, and he would have had that one, too, but Dan Murphy made a point of saying shutout. Unfortunately for Dan Murphy, both goalies were pitching shutouts when he said that. Oh, you fool.

• According to the stats page, this game only had 20 hits, 10 by each team. It didn't feel that friendly. Also, here's a curious name among the guys that registered zero hits: Alex Burrows. Zero hits? What about this one? Apparently, the stats guys didn't agree with the call either.

• Let's talk about that controversial hit. Burrows definitely deserved a penalty, but Fiddler's trying to play the puck while avoiding the check, and he's not a good enough skater to do it. Instead, he goes into the boards at full speed and, while twisting away from the puck, tries to poke it in the other direction. That puts his back to Burrows, a terrible position for an inevitable check. Unfortunately, now when Burrows hits him, Fiddler's facing the boards, off-balance, hunched over and trying to stop at an awkward angle. In that moment, even with Burrows trying to let up, he sends him headfirst into the boards. You have to call that--it's a hit from behind--but there's no way that's a major and a misconduct.

• You've got to think Burrows' reputation factored into the overreaction, which is why I found his postgame comments so interesting. After the game, I partly expected to hear him confess to going for another pregame skate with a begrudged referee. Instead, Burr made a point of saying he disagreed with the call, but that Kelly Sutherland, who made it, is one of the best referees in the league. Novel approach. As the saying goes, you catch more flies with honey than by having Alex Burrows publicly malign them.

• My real beef with the refereeing tonight was the astonishing degree of inconsistency. It always amazes me how, even when a game is called so strictly you'd think it was being refereed by the Women's Temperance Movement, the whistles disappear the moment the Sedins hit the ice. Daniel and Henrik were both tripped up or interfered with a number of times with no response from the zebras. The most egregious non-call came on a Daniel Sedin trip in the dying seconds, freeing up the puck and giving Phoenix a free path to Vancouver's empty net. It's baffling, but here's my theory: the things the twins do are so absolutely breathtaking that the referees, like all of us, can't help but gasp. Unfortunately, gasping with a whistle in your mouth is a surefire way to swallow your whistle.

• With tonight's victory, the Coyotes become the only NHL team to win two games at Rogers Arena. It's not surprising. Considering the situation in Phoenix, it has to inspire the Coyotes to visit a building full of fans whose tickets didn't come free with a sandwich combo.

• Sami Salo had a game-high 5 blocked shots tonight. He's blocked 24 shots in his 18 games back. That's a pretty impressive stat, but it's probably not as intimidating to block a shot when your body is full of metal plates. Salo had 23:08 and a game-high 31 shifts.

• Meanwhile, Christian Ehrhoff played twenty-seven minutes tonight and Keith Ballard played twelve. Now, I agree that Ehrhoff > Ballard, but I feel that such a blatant discrepancy in icetime would have to be represented by four or five angle brackets, and I can't get behind that. For continuity's sake, let me express my opinion in angle brackets: > > >>>>>

• I'm always amazed at the things Vern Fiddler gets away with. He drew Alex Burrows' 15 minutes in penaties, and he also drew a 2 minute roughing minor from Mikael Samuelsson when he high-sticked the feisty Swede in the face (missed), meriting a gloved punch (seen). I'm sure I'd love him if he played for my team, but he doesn't, so I don't.

• If there's one criticism about the Sedins I can understand, it's that they often don't play with a sense of urgency. How do I know? Because you can tell when they are playing urgent, such as on Christian Ehrhoff's goal (above). They buzzed for that whole shift, motivated, no doubt by the bogus major penalty that wound up costing them two goals, before Ehrhoff finally banged the puck home in front. These guys have been the best players in the NHL this season, and you have to wonder how much better they'd be if they played with this intensity all the time. Mind you, I guess they're so good because they don't have to.

• The absence of Manny "Alternate Captain Mal" Malhotra was felt. The third line simply lacked the presence it has in past weeks. Raffi Torres suffered especially, finishing with only 1 hit and 1 shot in 8:48 of icetime. In the faceoff circle, Maxim Lapierre did a great job with increased responsibilities, going 7-for-11 on faceoffs. Henrik, too, went a respectable 9-for-16. Ryan Kesler, on the other hand, went a somewhat disappointing 11-for-25, although his numbers probably suffered when he had to take a few more draws on the left side, where Malhotra is typically used. During the major penalty kill, however, Manny's absence really glared. There were seven draws during those five minutes, and the Canucks won only two of them. Worse, both goals came off a lost faceoff.

• You had to feel for Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis after he took a shot in the leg on the penalty kill, and couldn't get back into the play to clear Radim Vrbata from Roberto Luongo's line of vision on the second goal. It was especially ironic that it would be a shot to the leg that slowed him down, especially after he spent the afternoon teaching the BC Teacher's Federation how to use an epinephrine autoinjector to treat anaphylaxis in students.

• The Canucks remain one of only two teams that has not scored a five-on-three powerplay goal. The other is Edmonton. Clearly, the way to stop the Canucks' powerplay is to take another penalty. Or just only send out three guys to kill it. Maybe have him cherry pick around the red line or something.

• After starting the game on the fourth line, Mason Raymond played well, earning his place back on the second line by the game's end. It had to be a real boost of confidence to MayRay to be skating there in the dying minutes of the third period as the Canucks tried to tie it up. Hopefully, he now fully recognizes the threat Chris Higgins poses. Yes, Higgins is his black swan.

• And finally: Phoenix impresses me. They don't have the personnel to be this good, yet they continue to win. Granted, it helps when you're allowed to skate 9 players at a time, and dress four of them up like referees. Okay, that was the last one.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Flames, March 12, 2011

Canucks 4 - 3 Flames

Last night, the Canucks wrapped up their five-game West Coast road swing with a convincing 4-3 win over the Calgary Flames, and I do mean convincing. Don't let the final score fool you; this wasn't a one-goal game. The Flames may have jumped out to an early lead after Mikael Samuelsson and Dan Hamhuis got confused about the game's start time, but the Canucks woke up immediately thereafter, perhaps buoyed by the Flames' damning two-goal lead, and spent the rest of the evening putting Calgary under pressure on the ice [ice, baby]. After the slow start, it was great to see them so immediately snap to life, and I did see, because I watched this game:

• That's right. Two song references in one sentence, wherein the first song referenced is sampled by the second. PITB for the win, y'all.

• Alex Burrows potted his 20th goal of the season on a tip in front that tied the game at three. I don't think we give Burrows enough credit for what he does in front of the net. He's not the biggest guy and he's not that strong on his skates, so the only way he gets space in front is by zipping around at breakneck speed. Watch the next time a Sedin gets the puck behind the net: cue Burrows, darting back and forth around the crease like a squirrel in the street. Also watch, on last night's goal, as he gets effortlessly moved from the area by Matt Stajan, then immediately scurries back there once Stajan thinks his work is done. In the split second between Stajan heading to the side boards and Steve Staios realizing Burrows has been left alone, Burrows is in the position to be found by Daniel Sedin.
  

• Speaking of Daniel Sedin, he and Henrik were fantastic. They were on the ice for all four goals, combining for 5 points and completely dissecting Calgary's defensive coverage with Wizardous Sedinerie and fabulous vision all night. My favourite goal (Daniel Sedin's first of the night, above), comes when Rene Bourque drifts about a foot too high, and Daniel cuts through the middle of the offensive zone ice at full speed. That's a fabulous read, and it's matched only by Henrik's vision to get him the puck. The moment Daniel starts his sprint, it's obvious what's coming, too, as Henrik puts a backhand pass through the legs of Robyn Regehr (who seriously opens up to let it through), and Daniel one-times it past Kiprusoff. So good. Not so good: Rene Bourque practicing his first star twirl while this play is unfolding.

• When the Sedins are going like this, the power play tends to trend upward as well, so it's no surprise that the special teams were spot-on last night. The first unit went 2-for-2, scoring just over thirty seconds into each powerplay (32 and 37 seconds, respectively). Daniel Sedin's game-winner was so effortless it was hard to tell who moved less when it happened, he or Miikka Kiprosoff. It came so quickly off the faceoff you'd have thought the linesman just chucked it into the net.

• What a road trip. The Canucks went unbeaten in five games, all of which were against teams currently top 8 in the West. It was the best road trip since the one where that carful of girls literally punched Stuntman Mike to death.
  

• Ryan Kesler played a fabulous game as well, finishing with a goal and an assist, both on the powerplay. It was great to see the return of his lethal wrist shot from above the faceoff dot. Kiprusoff seemed a little befuddled that it got past him, but Kesler's been getting behind everyone these days--it was inevitable. Of note: while Kesler was back there, he took his shirt off and offered Kiprusoff a half-eaten slice of pizza.

• One thing Kesler does well is take hits to make plays. He got drilled three or four times last night, but the Canucks never lost possession of the puck.

• In the broadcast booth, Garry Galley was a nice change of pace from Kevin Weekes. He made some good observations, including his call on the Alex Burrows goal, in which he dubbed Daniel Sedin's open ice "The Quiet Zone." It sounds like the title of a Cronenberg movie full of weird sex. I'm glad that Galley was good, because he's owed me one for fifteen years. He was the slowest player in NHL 94 and somehow, he was always on my team. I was so sick of his painfully slow sprite lugging the puck through the neutral zone. Anyway, now we're even.

• By the by, Garry's son Wyatt is the star goaltender for the Langley Chiefs. They're in the BCHL playoffs right now and tickets are cheap.

• You always hear criticism that the announcers are biased against your team, but you had to think Calgary fans were pulling their hair out as Galley marveled at the Canucks. It was somewhat inevitable, though. Vancouver's the best at everything right now. They'll be the first team to 100 points, and Daniel Sedin, too, will probably get there before any other team does.

• Curiously, someone threw a fish on the ice. No idea why. Curiosities abound: why a salmon, and how does a salmon gets through security, anyway? They'll confiscate a Ziploc bag of goldfish crackers but they'll let a real freaking fish through? Ridiculous. But, perhaps the most curious element of this very curious action was that the fish found the ice late in the third period. Why wait? It's been my experience that, when you've got a fish in your backpack, you get rid of it as soon as possible (unless you're the shopping penguin). Suffice it to say, someone just ruined a backpack.

• Thanks to Qris for covering this feature in our absence. We haven't missed an IWTG this season. Without him, that streak ends.
  

• Chris Higgins is going to be a great addition to this team. He was good wherever he played last night, and he was all over the lineup, especially after Mikael Samuelsson got benched early in the first.

• I understand the criticism that Mason Raymond's had a number of off-games without getting benched so summarily as Mikael Samuelsson did tonight, but I think Alain Vigneault wanted to whip Sammy with a sock full of batteries after that Michael Backlund goal. This goes back to Samuelsson's Borg-brainwashing in Detroit, but he often refuses to to give up possession by dumping the puck out of the zone. In this case, it bit him. How to win AV's love: make the safe plays. Why do you think Aaron Rome had more shifts (34) than any other Canuck? Hint: it's not his skating.
  

• I liked Manny Malhotra trying that icing play the Sedins always do. He and Raffi nearly connected for some Plagiarized Sedinerie. We've actually seen a lot more of that this year, when players who aren't the Sedins try their hand at Sedinerie. It's very Mickey Mouse. Mind you, considering they're the top two scorers in the NHL, it's probably safe to learn from them. On the flipside, it's probably not safe to learn from Mary Kay Letourneau. Especially if you're Chris Tanev; he's quite young.

• And finally, we often criticize the way Alain Vigneault metes out icetime, but he's managed his roster quite well. Nobody played under 11 minutes, and in the last game of a five-game road trip, icetime management matters. Know what else matters? Family.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Sharks, March 10, 2011

Canucks 5 - 4 Sharks (SO)

With this game, the Pass it to Bulis California (and Glendale) road trip draws to a close with a 4-0 record. Clearly, fans should be clamoring to send Skeeter and Harrison out of Vancouver more often. The trip ended in an exciting and dramatic fashion, but I can't help but feel like the Canucks were the villains in this story. The Sharks showed energy and focus, and battled hard to come back three times. Logan "Bumblebee" Couture was constantly buzzing around and creating chances. Torrey "Jazz" Mitchell scored on an amazing individual effort that got the heart racing. Ryan "Hot Rod" Clowe managed two goals and nearly completed the hat trick to win the game, but all of them fell short, defeated almost single-handedly by Cory "Megatron" Schneider. Schneider won a game the Canucks probably deserved to lose -- and I would know, because I watched this game:

• Give the Canucks credit for being solid in the offensive zone when they could manage to stay there. They played a solid game except for their inability to get out of their own zone, and their inability to keep the puck in the offensive zone. Normally, their transition game is their greatest strength, but in this game, they fell victim to the Sharks' puck moving tonight. The Sharks must have stocked up on iron, zinc, palladium and osmium, as they showed a lot of transition mettle.

• The Canucks dominated much of the first period, before falling flat in the second. It's sort of a recurring theme. The Canucks are +28 in the first, and only +3 in the second. The thing that didn't go as usual is that the Canucks didn't Win Da Turd, where they're +34. Once the first period was over, the Canucks were outshot 16-42. That's insane.

• The Canucks' first goal (above) came on some truly wizardous sedinerie. What was most wizardous about it was that the Sharks were checking them hard, had active sticks, and the Sedins managed to keep puck control. I've said it before -- the Canucks are best when they create chances, rather than wait for them. On this play, the Sedins, like Harvey Dent, made their own luck.

• Still, no one's above capitalizing on chances when they're given. It seems every time the Sharks failed on coverage, Niemi was bailing them out with ridiculous saves. A couple even went in. On Raymond's goal (here), Niclas Wallin lost track of Raymond while Niemi lost track of the puck. It was a window of only a second, and Raymond deserves a lot of credit for capitalizing on the chance. Daniel Sedin's power play goal (here) was a clear demonstration of why the opposition should never ever give him time and space.

• The Canucks started the second by allowing two goals and then taking a penalty. On that penalty, the Sharks announcers said, "Vigneault looking very calm on the bench." "I don't think I've ever seen him really lose it." I've seen him lose it. Tell him Wellwood's playing like a man possessed.

• Man, the Canucks' power play generated a lot of scoring chances tonight, didn't it? It even generated some for the Canucks.

• Seriously, though, the Canucks' power play was dangerous -- for both teams -- and bailed them out of a game they would otherwise have lost. The Canucks generated 12 shots on the PP, but 3 of them were on Schneider, so it was back and forth for a while. Still, can't argue with two goals.

• The Canucks' penalty kill did well statistically, in terms of allowing only one goal, but they allowed 16 shots on 7 penalties, and couldn't seem to leave the zone. Cory "Megatron" Schneider was the only reason the Sharks' third-ranked PP in the league didn't bury the Canucks tonight.

• The referees were calling everything they saw and a lot they didn't tonight. Recently, the Canucks have had referees content to put the whistles away, and they didn't adapt very well to the new standard. As a result, they took 7 penalties, including one in overtime. The Canucks should be glad when the referees start calling everything. It lets them take advantage of their superior special teams.

• Besides Schneider, another bright spot on the night was Chris Higgins. The dude didn't log much statistically, but he provided a good screen for the Sami Salo goal (here), and adds another weapon to the second PP unit. Higgins is a three-time 20-goal scorer and those are typically nice power-play assets. In fact, Higgins is a lot like Wellwood -- a depth center in a checking role who can play a role on the power-play and jump into the top six should there be injury. Also, like Wellwood, he has something to prove. Unlike Welly, though, Higgins has the grit necessary to fit in the bottom six, so the Canucks give up nothing for his versatility.

• On the subject of the 4th line, Lapierre had a good game, too. He lost both faceoffs he took after the first, but still finished 3 for 5, and logged three hits and a blocked shot to go along with his three shots on goal. Glass wasn't bad either. In such a close game, Vigneault still confidently rolled his fourth line. Love to see that. Love it.

• Sami Salo has found his step again, hasn't he? He was victimized on the Setoguchi goal, but his missile from the point is back in force. More like Sami Silo, am I right?

• Only two Canucks finished plus one -- Sami Salo and Aaron Rome. Dan Hamhuis was a -2, but he wasn't all bad, with four blocked shots and over 26 minutes of ice time, including 7:36 on the penalty kill. The Sharks were constantly pressuring, and sometimes Hammy just couldn't get off the ice. It'd be wrong to say he was out of gas, though, because he drives an electric car. It's much better for the environment.

• Including the shootout, Schneider made 47 saves tonight. That's insanely good. Still, the Canucks weren't as bad defensively as the shot totals make them look. They were good clearing away rebounds and limiting shots to the perimeter... mostly. They got tired on a lot of shifts because they couldn't get the puck out, and that's when things got hairy. The culprit isn't their defense itself, but their puck possession and ability to get out of their zone. While at times it looked like a lot of things were wrong for the Canucks, it all came down to their trouble moving the puck up. Ask Gillis if he foresaw that the Canucks would have so much trouble moving forward.

• Megatron (yes, I'm going to call him that) was good in the shootout, stopping all three shooters, including Kyle Wellwood, who seemed destined to score. Also impressive was Alex Burrows, with a nifty move in the shootout we've all seen before. He's got two "go-to" moves for the shootout or a breakaway -- one on the forehand, and one on the backhand. They usually work for him, though, so one has to wonder why he's 0-3 on penalty shots. What's the difference?
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Coyotes, March 8, 2011

Dan Hamhuis's overtime winner was pure wizardous sedinerie.

Rejoice, Canucks fans! Last game wasn't just a triumph, it was a return to form, or at least, something close to it. While the Canucks can say their Nashville game was one of their best, I respectfully disagree -- the Canucks aren't at their best playing tight-checking hockey. They're at their best generating chances, and last night they were given none and created all. They shook their defenders, played a good cycle game, and used their defense well. Adjusting to injuries seemed no problem. The team that played last night could easily be called a contender, despite having more than $10 million worth of salary missing the game. Where did my elite team go? I don't care, anymore, it's just good that they came back, at least for a game, and that I watched it.

• The Canucks' transition game and their power play, keys to their success, looked dangerous again last night. They aren't quite there yet, but for the first time in over a month, I felt like I was watching an elite team again. A lot of fans are satisifed with wins, but there's a difference between winning games and ...winning.

• The Canucks showed last night something they hadn't shown all: resilience. Last season, the Canucks had the best comeback rate in the league. This season, they usually strike first, but bad things can happen when they don't. This is the first game the Canucks have ever won when trailing after the first period. After getting down 2-0, they remained patient, stayed with their game, and were rewarded. Until last night, their bounceback seemed a thing of the past. Something else that was resilient a long time ago: flubber.

• Two of the Canucks goals (this one and this one) came on lucky bounces, but that doesn't mean their victory was just luck. Phoenix got their lucky bounces on the goals that didn't go in. Burrows and Kesler both had their chances, and either Bryzgalov was amazing or the puck was more amazing in its refusal to go in. Bryzgalov was the better goaltender last night, but he admittedly had way more chance to shine. It'd be easy for the 'Yotes to blame the loss on bad puck luck, but really, they made their bed.

• Ballard was quietly very impressive in his limited ice time. He registered only one shot on goal, but his trip back to Phoenix apparently reminded him of how he used to be a puck mover, cause he did a great job of pushing it forward. Is he ready for more ice time? Nope. He only logged one hit, and that tells me he's still feeling the injuries he's playing through. Alain Vigneault seems content to give him more time before he does something drastic like giving him more time.

• Tambellini slotted well into the second line, recording five shots and four hits. One would normally say he's versatile, fitting into both the top and bottom six, but he isn't, really. He never looks comfortable in the bottom six. Sure, he can hit, but he doesn't respond well to a limited role and winds up doing too much. He has two real jobs on this team: scoring, and pushing Mason Raymond. He belongs on the second line or in the press box.

• I love Tanner Glass. As the staple of the fourth line, he kept his shifts simple, and Lapierre and Oreskovich began to follow. Glass didn't even look for a pass when he had a shot at the goaltender -- straight at the chest. For a fourth line, getting an offensive zone faceoff is a victory in itself. With Lapierre and Oreskovich both only recently joining (or re-joining) the Canucks, it's good to see Glass reminding them what their line is for.

• I said an offensive zone faceoff is a victory for the fourth line, and one of the reasons is that they didn't start with the puck. Glass took one faceoff and lost it, Lapierre took four and only won one. Since his trade, Lapierre has won only 33% of faceoffs. Small sample size, I know, but the Canucks were in need of a center, not a winger, because centers can take faceoffs. As a great man once observed, once we find our center, we are sure to win.

• The "Woo!" by Canucks fans after a goal was barely audible, but it made me smile. I know it annoys some people but I love it because, like the towel-waving, it's truly a Canucks thing. Lots of Canucks fans complain about it, but they must hate joy.

• Dan Hamhuis has been playing well of late, and it's good to see him get rewarded. He had two goals, including the game-winner (above) and this one, and jumped up into the rush pretty well. Most impressive, though, was the stirring speech he gave to those worried about the Coyotes' possible relocation. "How can you worry if your team will have a home, when so many in this country are already homeless?"

• Who's been missing Edler the most? The second power play unit. Last season, the second unit had Raymond, Kesler and Samuelsson. Last night, it had none of those three, and it showed. Samuelsson did a fine job on the point for the first unit, but without consistently dangerous forwards, the second unit, like Peter Petrelli in the third season of Heroes, is just too easy to contain.

• I wasn't pleased with the way the third period went, but it went that way because of the Coyotes, not because of the Canucks. The 'Yotes would do anything, it seems, to push the game to overtime. They blocked everything up and scoring seemed like their fourth priority, defense, defensive play, and defending. The last faceoff was a great example of this -- they had 2.5 seconds in the offensive zone after an icing call. They could have pulled the goaltender safely, or at least lobbied for more time to score, but Tippett made no effort whatsoever. They played for the OT loss.

• This was the first game the Canucks won after being behind to start the second, but it was also the second game in a row the Canucks' power play looked dangerous, and both Sedins had three point nights. With all the devils that have been exorcised of late, you'd think the Canucks hired someone or something.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Kings, March 5, 2011

Canucks 3 - 1 Kings

After spending about twenty hours in the Nissan Versa, bickering about music selection, coining new swear words, and fighting off an invisible army of cramps, well, it was some sort of glorious reprieve to finally get to the hockey portion of the road trip. Not that there weren't highlights en route. For example: Bonnie Tyler's Faster Than the Speed of Night is about fifteen and a half minutes long, and it's the best quarter-hour you'll ever spend. A pack of Red Vines lasts forever. BTO's greatest hits is divisive. Medford, Oregon is a bit of a dump (as is their Ramada Inn), but the pool is frickin' immense. Miniature basketballs, when flung at the proper velocity, can leave large red welts on one's chest. The portions at Claim Jumper are sinfully massive. That said, it's still a long and exhausting journey--one that tests the will and drains the spirit--until the hockey part starts. Well, it started, we attended it and, while in attendance, [we] watched this game:

• The massive number of Canucks fans at the Staples Center was nothing short of astonishing. Downright egregious, even. After the first period, Kings fans stopped shouting Go Kings Go, because the chant immediately became Go Canucks Go (and you can't fight that, either; Canucks has harder phonetic sounds). The atmosphere in the building was electric as each team's fans fed off each other. In fact, it was often louder than the Nashville game from the other night. Shame on you, Vancouver Canucks fans in Vancouver. After the game, Canucks fans gathered into boisterous clusters, cheering and chanting. One fan tried to put his Trevor Linden jersey on the Wayne Gretzky statue out front (a clear jersey foul), before abandoning the attempt and draping a Canadian flag over the statue's shoulders instead. I was asked the question "What is a Canuck anyway?" by a curious Kings fan on the sidewalk as he marveled at the masses of blue and green. Another just took one look at my jersey and the smile on my face and said "F*** you!" In short, we were not welcome. Whatever. We won.

• Like palm trees in Los Angeles, Jannik Hansen was everywhere. The goal he scored was a classic bit of third-line grittery, as Hansen and Torres combined for some excellent forechecking and physical work down low before Torres swung the puck out front for Hansen to patiently pokecheck it into the net. He added 3 hits of the genus destructus and some solid work on the penalty kill, which took care of all 6 Kings' powerplays. Said Vigneault of the Delicious Dane: "He came out with a lot of fire in his cute little voice." That's Hansen, all right. Cute and full of fire. Jannik Hansen: baby dragon.

• I still owe Hansen a beer.

• The powerplay was the reciprocal of the penalty kill, going 0-for-6. There was simply not enough movement on the powerplay. It looked better as the game went on, and the Kings gave them ample opportunity to practice their powerplay skills, but the Canucks player on the half-wall (frequently Henrik) often ended up standing around waiting for something to open up while the rest of the powerplay unit stood around not opening anything up. The Canucks' struggles on the powerplay are becoming bothersome, as they haven't scored a powerplay goal in 5 straight games, going 0-for-15 in that stretch. They waste the man advantage like the Midianites.

• Drew Doughty was incensed after Daniel Sedin scored the go-ahead goal, going right after the referees and screaming that he was cross-checked. He didn't let it go either, yelling at the refs after being called for diving with 5 minutes left and continuing to berate the refs until they finally gave him a 10-minute misconduct in the final minute of the game. Watching the replay, there's no cross-check; Daniel merely pushes him away. Honestly, I just think he was embarrassed that he got so easily moved by a Sedin.

• Speaking of being easily moved by a Sedin, it was hard not to feel for Henrik when he flashed a pouty face after taking a Doughty high stick. The jumbotron couldn't get enough of Henrik's protruding lip, especially when Henrik later took a penalty. A shiny silver piece for anybody who finds us this image.

• The cycle on Daniel's goal was beautiful, if not quite wizardous. The activation of Ehrhoff from the point completely befuddled the Kings' defenders, leaving him with a clear path to the front of the net and a fabulous scoring chance. Quick was almost as upset as Doughty, suggesting that he was interfered with by Burrows. Burr did nudge him slightly as he passed by, but the bigger issue for Quick was having two of his own players crash down on top of him. Doughty was pushed slightly, but I suspect Willie Mitchell was just dizzy. He should learn proper spotting techniques to avoid this in the future.

• Kings are a chippy team, following the lead of their captain, Dustin Brown. Their activities after the whistle frequently got them in trouble and the Canucks broke their zen attitude in response. 17 penalties, but no fights. It was a bit like a playoff game. The only difference: it wasn't.

• Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis had yet another quietly effective game. He finished a game-high +3 in 24:24 of ice-time. He also played a team-high 5:08 on the penalty kill and spent the intermissions telling kids in Africa "I may kill penalties, but the deadliest killer is Malaria" before distributing bed nets.

• In the faceoff circle, Ryan Kesler went 13-for-16, Malhotra went 13-for-21, and Henrik went 7-for-12. So Henrik has to pay for the frozen yogurt.

• Aaron Rome was not good. At all. He dropped to minus-1 after getting outmuscled by Dustin Penner on Kings' only goal, and frequently made bad puck decisions. Still, he played more than Keith Ballard, including a full minute on the powerplay. I usually have an answer or, at worst, a theory as to why something is the way it is, but Rome's icetime is this season's most labyrinthine side story. Seriously, there's a minotaur in it.

• 4th line spent an inordinate amount of time pinned in the defensive zone against the Kings' top line. I suspect this was some sort of ploy to prove to Alain Vigneault they could handle the assignment. They were unconvincing.

• One thing that only the in-house audience would have been able to enjoy: it was Kings Mascot Bailey's birthday (apparently), prompting a visit from a bunch of other mascots, including Stinger (the Blue Jackets' mascot), Slapshot the Eagle (the Capitals' mascot), and Fin. The mascots played a game of hockey against some peewees during the first intermission and a game of quidditch against USC students during the second. In both contests, Fin was a freaking beast. In the intermission hockey game, he went all-out, scoring the only goal for the Mascots, all the while throwing heavy shoulders and slewfooting the tots. In the quidditch match, he captured the golden snitch. His mastery of these mini-games only prompted crowd jeering, but Fin didn't seem to care. He was on top of the world.

• Thanks to Qris for filling in for us while we conquered the great expanse between Vancouver and Los Angeles. He'll be covering the Phoenix and San Jose games as well. Make him feel welcome.

• Surprise of the night: Manny Malhotra is the most boisterous dancer in the post-game celebration. That is not the same as saying he is the best dancer, of course. Everybody knows the kid in the orange shirt is the best dancer.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Canadiens, February 22, 2011

Canucks 2 - 3 Canadiens

Not sure why, but the Canadiens started this game like they had embarrassed themselves on national television in their previous outing. Frankly, they skated like it was their first time on indoor ice in days, shooting like they hadn't scored a goal in over sixty minutes, and playing like above zero temperatures were suddenly new to them. Spurred by a novel appreciation for insideness, they jumped out to an early lead, and never looked back. The Canucks, meanwhile, drifted for the first ten minutes, spoiled by their indoor malaise. I say this malaise cost us the game. Also, we scored fewer goals. I watched this game:

• To be perfectly honest, I hated this game. Not just because of the Canucks, mind you, but because the Canadiens play ugly hockey. Ogre ugly. They even employ an ogre. Have you seen James Wisniewksi these days? After taking advantage of a flat-footed Canucks team early, they spent the evening defending their lead by collapsing in front of Carey Price like the 1929 stock market, and clogging up the neutral zone like a big ball of hair in the J-trap. It was unattractive hockey.

• Speaking of hate, Harrison would like everyone to know that he hates P.K. Subban. He claims he's allowed to, because they're both black. That said, I thought I heard him say something about the white way, but it turns out he was saying the white whale (he's in Darren Pang's book club). I'm actually a Subban fan. He's a jerk, sure, but no moreso than Kesler or Burrows. He's a pain in the posterior to play against and is unapologetic about being young and talented. Nothing wrong with that.

• Tonight's big story? Tom Cruise and Simon Pegg were in the audience tonight. I'd be upset about this if I were Nick Frost. Cruise is a much better-looking running mate, and considering his career-trajectory, he might soon be reduced to playing sidekicks. Anyway, considering Cruise and Pegg are from the United States and United Kingdom, respectively, I assume they spent the majority of the game wondering where the ball was. And fending off thetans. Couch jump.

• One of Ryan Kesler's most underrated skills is his overall opaqueness. He used this ability to great effect tonight, proving to Carey Price that it is impossible to see an incoming puck through a body. Not even with X-Ray Specs. You would need military-grade x-ray glasses, and the Canadiens just don't have access to that kind of hardware. Come to think of it, that's about the only kind of hardware they don't have a tonne of. That's a french ton, for those who don't know.

• Kesler was also a beast in the faceoff circle tonight. He went 13-for-13 in the defensive zone, 4-for-5 in the neutral zone, and 8-for-11 in the offensive zone. That's 25-for-29 overall. I say again: he took 29 faceoffs. He lost four. But those four cost them the game. Trade him for money.

• The Canucks Scrabble challenge (in which Harrison will be competing tomorrow) was enough of a big deal to get mentioned twice. It was sort of neat. That said, just to establish, Shorty's proposed Scrabble technique of spelling the word "THE" to block triple word scores is not recommended, and doesn't really make sense. I really can't think of a single scenario where spelling the word "THE" to block a triple-word score--without actually using the triple-word--score would work. That said, Shorty's Scrabble knowledge definitely tops Garrett, who only seemed to know that A had a low-point value.

• Between his poor puck management, and his incessant urges to go wide and try wrap-arounds, it's a wonder Mason Raymond remains an NHL second-liner. He should try managing a truck stop diner, where the turnovers, wraps, and poor management are expected.

• Keith Ballard and Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis both played tonight, but neither was really back, if you know what I mean. They weren't at 100%. For example, Dan Hamhuis only built one Venezuelan orphanage during the game.

• Christian Ehrhoff played 28:35 tonight, which is more than he played in the games Hamhuis and Ballard missed. That's too much icetime for the Hoff, who doesn't play a steady enough game to be on the ice for half of it. Without Alex Edler, he's a bit manic and overzealous. In the last ten minutes of the game (when he didn't seem to leave the ice), Ehrhoff rushed the puck well, but tried to force play after play, and often wound up getting turned back or flummoxing his forwards. A steadying presence like Edler's would have helped greatly. One might say that Christian Ehrhoff misses Alex Edler like Raffi Torres misses the net. That is to say, constantly.

• Actually, I'm going to the Canucks superskills on Sunday, and I'm hoping Torres competes in the shooting accuracy competition. More than that, I hope he wins, just to increase his already astronomical ability to boggle. Think he plays Boggle? Should this be our next challenge? #BoggleMeRaffi

• The Canucks evidently got 39 shots-on-net, with the Canadiens blocking another 22. The number of quality scoring chances, on the other hand, was significantly lower, and this is the third or fourth game in a row where this has been the case. During this stretch, with the defensive injuries, the Canucks' shot totals have actually gone up, but the overall quality of their offense has gone down. One example would be the very common occurrence of the Sedins parking behind the net. Typically, they make something happen from back there, but half of the threat is predicated on the defensemen being viable passing options. They really weren't tonight. Instead, you had long stretches of Alex Burrows darting back and forth in front of the crease, hoping to get open, before Henrik gave up and went somewhere else.

• For the first time, Chris Tanev looked a little out of place in the NHL. He's really only had one unimpressive game prior to this evening, but tonight, the Canadiens took advantage of how raw a talent he is. Unlike Mikael Samuelsson, whose minus-3 was not reflective of his overall defensive play (it had more to do with playing with Mason Raymond), Tanev's minus-2 was self-made. On the opening goal, he drifted into center ice while David Desharnais tiptoed in behind him (inasmuch as one on skates can tiptoe) for a breakaway. On the second Montreal goal, he took himself out of the play with a poorly-timed hit and couldn't get back in time to cover Andrei Kostitsyn. To this, I say: Tanev, play to your strengths, one of which is not strength.

• The Canucks' power play quite nearly bailed them out tonight, potting two goals on six powerplays (one here, one above), despite looking discombobulated, at times. Part of me feels like the power play let the team down tonight, especially considering the ill-disciplined nature of Montreal's penalties. It was especially aggravating to see a five-on-three go to waste. The Canucks remain one of only two teams in the NHL that hasn't scored on a five-on-three, the other being the special teams juggernaut that is Edmonton. Suffice it to say, sharing any statistical anomaly with Edmonton should be somewhat embarrassing.

• At under five minutes, Cody Hodgson had one minute less icetime than Victor Oreskovich. Thinking about the playoffs, that is not a sign of trust. This is.

• Carey Price played well tonight. He's been good all season, really, and it wasn't that long ago that everybody was calling for Bob Gainey's head because he'd traded the wrong goalie. I brought crow for everybody. nom nom nom

• And finally, I wasn't a huge fan of Alex Burrows's game tonight. Not too long ago, he was scoring like crazy, so it's unfair to complain that he's not scoring. But he didn't score tonight. It would have been nice if he had done so, especially with the golden opportunities he was given. It was especially bothersome because he didn't do much else. His puck retrieval was below-average and his forechecking was ineffective. He's at his best when he's creating turnovers and getting the puck to the Sedins, not when he's waiting for the Sedins to get the puck to him.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Ducks, February 09, 2011

Canucks 3 - 4 Ducks

It feels like it's been forever since we've watched the Canucks suffer a home regulation loss, and I'm a little uncertain of how to feel about it. At this point in the season, it's not unlike like being gored by a unicorn: sure, it's undesired, but it's so rare that you're kind of impressed. Only the fourth time this season the Canucks have skated away from a home game without a point, it's pretty hard to muster up the usual fan despair. Heck, the Red Wings lost too, so the only thing on which the Canucks missed out was stretching their nine-point Western Conference lead into an eleven-point lead. They were going to lose eventually, and despite the brush with inevitability, they remain in pretty good standing. I watched this game:

• Of course, for reasonable, like-minded people that are finding it difficult to freak out at this loss, we have the terrifying problem of Dan Hamhuis's addition to the list of broken Canucks. Hamhuis is the backbone of the Canucks' defense corps; without him, the Canucks defense is an invertebrate. Hit from behind by Ryan Getzlaf, Hamhuis briefly went unconscious, which is not ideal, because he wasn't getting his wisdom teeth removed. Of course, while he was in the dreamworld, because he's such a community-oriented guy, he helped a young girl rescue her brother from Jareth, King of the Goblins, but that's another story for another time.

• The hit wasn't dirty. For people looking to cast blame: there is none. In a high-speed sport, accidents happen. Ryan Getzlaf was finishing a check, a move for which all coaches would applaud him. Yes, he was briefly off his feet, but it looks to me like it was the contact with Hamhuis--not his innate wickedness--that caused him to catch air. Some say Hamhuis shouldn't have turned away, but let's get serious. Do these same people curse out their kneecap when it jumps at the tap of a doctor's tendon hammer? Bracing oneself for impact is a natural reflex of the body. I'm sure Dan Hamhuis, a professional hockey player, would be the first one to tell you not to turn like that, but in a split second, the body doesn't always cooperate with the mind. Let's just hope he's okay and move on. Getzlaf isn't a dirty player.

• What he is, however, is a remarkable player. His pass on the Ducks' third goal was dangerously close to Wizardous Sedinerie, as he cribbed a page from Henrik's book of spells (otherwise known as the Nyturan Demonta), perfectly executing a swiveling backpass to Bobby Ryan. Ryan impressed also, receiving and burying that pass entirely on the backhand. I've heard rumblings that the Canucks can't handle the Perry-Getzlaf-Ryan line and that this is some sort of fatal flaw, but who can? They're one of the best lines in hockey, and there's no shame when they burn you. Let's try to give credit when due. Getzlaf is a superstar, and in his first game back from injury, he made sure we knew it. That said, when you steal Henrik's book of spells, you free some pretty malevolent spirits, so Getzlaf should expect some Evil Dead-style demonic high jinks.

• Speaking of malevolent spirits, a theory about these sudden injury troubles: for years, Sami Salo has been possessed by an injury demon. It's decades-old; it once lived in Bobby Orr's knees. Anyway, while rehabbing the Achilles injury, Salo finally rid it from his body, but the demon remains in the bowels of Rogers Arena, jumping from defenceman to defenceman, looking for a suitable host. Someone call Max Von Sydow.

• Christian Ehrhoff had an ugly game, on the ice for three of Anaheim's four goals on the evening and, in each case, the guy caught behind the play. He wasn't always the one to blame, but not once was he the last man back, and that's concerning. His rush-jumpy tendencies may fly when burgeoning superstar Alex Edler is the watchman, but when it's Chris Tanev or Aaron Rome, you might want to stay a little closer to home. With the blueline decimated by injuries, now is not the time for Ehrhoffian defensive offensivity. It's the time for sound defensive play.

• Speaking of Chris Tanev, he continues to look wise beyond his years. Is he in sync with the Sedins already? In this game, he pulled off Kevin Bieksa's jump through the middle and a slap-pass from the point to Daniel. Neither resulted in a goal, but still, these are specialized set plays. Not since Neo learned kung-fu have I seen someone learn something so complicated so quickly. I think Tanev might be The One. He doesn't even see the game; he's sees phosphorescent lines of code.

• Alarming thought which is no longer as alarming as it once was: Kevin Bieksa is now the rock of our defense corps. #JuiceWillSaveUs

• Jannik Hansen's high-pitched monotone gets me every time. During an intermission interview with Kristin Reid, he coughed, and his pitch didn't change a bit. That is commitment.
  

• Lost in the loss was the fact that last night was a three-point night for Daniel Sedin. He had a goal and two assists, and his line looked great all night. He narrowly missed tying the game in the final seconds, too, if not for the puck making a Barry Sanders-level juke. Yes, Sedin was excellent. For folks complaining that the Ducks' top line was too much for the Canucks, need I remind you that this street goes both ways? The Sedins were on for exactly as many goals as Getzlaf's line. By the by, on Daniels's power play goal, Henrik might not have gotten an assist, but did you notice his sneaky trip on Todd Marchant? It wasn't a slewfoot; Henrik simply shades in behind him and plants his skate, and Marchant, skating backwards, trips over it. As a result, Daniel has a buttload (a Byfuglienian buttload, at that) of room.

• Alex Burrows now has 6 goals in his last 7 games, and I loved the way he scored this one. Henrik and Burr do this all the time, and it works surprisingly often. Henrik gets set up behind the net and he just waits there for something to open up. Eventually, one of the checkers gets impatient and lunges at Henrik, and Alex Burrows cuts to the crease, and Henrik gets him the puck. The way Corey Perry played is is the wrong way to play it. The correct defensive play is to wait for Henrik to fall asleep.
  

• Did you know the Canucks had 38 shots and attempted 73? It felt like they had about 20. I don't recall McElhinney making many incredible saves, either.

• Mason Raymond's act is wearing thin. I know he's been picking up points lately, but that seems more a result of his linemates than his individual play. Somebody remind him that skating quickly around the outside is for Clara Hughes. Is he aware that a team's defensive strategy against any offensive threat is to keep him doing exactly what he does willingly?

• Ryan Kesler had a good game, scoring a crucial goal late in the game, and winning 15-of-21 draws, but he had too many rushes end for him when he gave the puck to Raymond and wound up not getting it back. Kesler and Raymond had chemistry last season, but this year, they've gone in completely different directions. Often, Kesler's best stuff comes when he doesn't pass to Raymond, or when he's on with the Sedins. This doesn't bode well for Raymond. It makes him an expendable, tradeable asset. If he doesn't prove himself untouchable in a hurry, he's in danger of being sent to a worse team. He'd better pick it up in a hurry, or he'll find himself playing for a seller.

• Speaking of acts wearing thin, nobody breaks up a promising rush faster than Raffi Torres. Far too often, he's a baffling, downright bungling presence. Watching him skate on a line with Jannik Hansen is like watching inspectors Holmes and Clouseau try to solve a mystery together. One does all the right things, the other breaks vases and falls down staircases.

• And finally, I have never, ever in my life, seen two men chew gum with more ferocity than Mike Gillis and Alain Vigneault as they waited for Dan Hamhuis to get up.
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Stars, February 1, 2011

Canucks 4 - 1 Stars

It might be safe to say the Canucks are better than the Stars. It stands to reason. The Canucks have beaten the Stars in every single one of their three meetings this year (QED, bitches). In fact, Vancouver has outscored Dallas 15-3 in these contests (4-1, 7-1, and 4-1). From a Canucks' fan perspective, there's little to dislike. Really, the only thing about which you could gripe would be the team's inability to shut these guys out, and you know what? I'm gonna gripe about it. It's unacceptable, really. I'm downright sick of these bogus 59-minute efforts. Yet again, the crappy Canucks gave up a single craptastic goal to the craptacular Stars. Ridiculous. Anyway, I watched this game:

• The Stars were clearly motivated to seek some measure of revenge tonight, especially after coming apart in the two previous losses. For the first time in three games, they kept their heads, and tried, instead, to punish the Canucks with tough physical play. They sort of succeeded, too, registering 48 hits to the Canucks' 18, led by captain Brendan Morrow, with eight. That's a Michael Jackson to Jermaine Jackson ratio of hits. Thankfully, all the Canucks skated away without injury, save Aaron Volpatti, who left the game with bruised rib cartilage.

• The Sedins have taken a beating over their careers, and considering how much time they spend with their back to defenders, ripe to receive unlimited crosschecks, you'd think their spine was made of silly putty by now. Instead, they've simply gotten quite good at absorbing the blow. I noticed one play where Daniel Sedin actually backed into the crosscheck, and the perfect timing of it caught his defender off guard and caused him to lose his footing. It was sort of brilliant.

• With the massive hit advantage, the shots completely even and the scoring chances relatively even, you'd think the Stars would have fared better. But there's still special teams, where the Canucks have been good all season, and downright spectacular against Dallas. As Gord McIntyre points out, they're 8-for-15 in three games against the Stars this year. "I don't know why," said Henrik Sedin, when asked about this, "But we own a lot of teams." I believe he meant to say pwn.

• The great thing about the Canuck powerplay is that it can beat you a few different ways. They have a number of set down-low plays, plus the on-the-fly wizardry of the Sedins, but lately they've been getting it done with shots from the point. Mikael Samuelsson's goal came on a beautiful wrist shot from that weird spot on the ice just above the faceoff dot where it's against the rules for the goalie to try to save it if it's a power play. Christian Ehrhoff's was your basic blistering slapper.

• Speaking of Ehrhoff, I'm going to be honest: If Samuelsson has to replace one of the point men on the power play, I much prefer he steps in for Alex Edler. Edler's a better passer than Ehrhoff, but he's not nearly as mobile. Edler's typically the static defenseman on the five-man unit, and that's a much easier vacancy to fill than Ehrhoff's specialized roamer role. Recall how the Canucks' power play suffered when Ehrhoff was out with the ear injury. With Edler out, they didn't miss a beat.

• Speaking of defencemen, let's talk about Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis. He blocked a whopping seven shots tonight, and still found time to block two more in a charity basketball game for at-risk youth. He played a game-high 24:38, and, as usual, you hardly noticed him.

• Am I the only one who's completely blown away by Lee Sweatt and Chris Tanev? Sweatt showed fabulous improvement in his second NHL game, playing physically and looking stronger on the puck than the game before the break. He threw three hits and blocked two shots in 14:53 of ice time. Chris Tanev, meanwhile, looked incredible in his 17:04 of playing time. I was especially impressed with one play where he went into the corner, drew two forecheckers, then made a calm, crisp outlet pass before absorbing the hit. His patience is remarkable. People were making a big deal about Cody Hodgson being the first Mike Gillis draft pick to make the NHL, but let's not downplay the GM's ability to find NHL quality talent elsewhere. Sweatt's a European signing, and Tanev was a free agent out of college. Considering any team could have signed these guys, Gillis deserves credit for the fact that they're on the Canucks right now.

• Speaking of Cody Hodgson, it was nice to see him come out of this game without having to make an appointment with a medical specialist of some sort. It was a pretty quiet first night on the stat sheet for Cody, but if you want to raise an eyebrow, consider that he was 2-for-9 in the faceoff circle. That's not good, but the real story here is the fact that he took so many. Alex Bolduc was getting two a game on a good night. Is tonight the most faceoffs a Canucks' 4th-line center has taken in one game this season? I think it might be. Anyhow, apart from this, I thought Hodgson was only all right. At times, he looked slow, but he looked smart, and he looked skilled. He also looked a bit like Charlie Conway, captain of the Mighty Ducks. He should get right out in front of things and tell Alain Vigneault to stay the Hell away from his mom.

• Before you get on Cody for the faceoffs, by the way, all the Canucks were terrible tonight in this regard. Their best guy was Henrik Sedin, who went 8-for-17. The team went 36% on draws. All-Star hangover? Kesler and Henrik still have to readjust to the other guy caring who wins the faceoff.

• You've got to feel for Dallas a little on the shorthanded goal (above). After cutting the lead in half, Loui Eriksson gets a pass in a good area and looks poised for another great shot. Instead, the puck jumps, sending the Canucks the other way on a two-on-one. Pay special attention to Jannik Hansen's fake, which freezes Stephane Robidas and allows Hansen to space out the rush. Robidas knows that Kesler is streaking down his blind side, so when Hansen suggest an early pass, you know Robidas is worried that Kesler's about to blow by him. He backs up a little. Instead, Hansen keeps it, now with room to go wide, and the eventual saucer pass to Kesler is a beauty. This goal was a huge backbreaker, although not as huge a backbreaker as The Big Show's Cobra Clutch Backbreaker.

• Cory Schneider was good, but this is no longer a new and interesting story. He's always good against the Stars. Stars of any kind, actually. Even Space Jam's MonStars would be no match for Cory Schneider. He should team up with Ben Affleck to form an intergalactic crime-fighting duo: Moonraper and Starcrusher.

• Brilliant observation from Daniel's wife, Rachael: when the announcer says "no score," he is incorrect. The score is 0-0. Instance where the phrase might be acceptable: when the press box runs out of Skor.

• And finally, how weird was it to have such a pitiful attendance? Granted, this had everything to do with a Dallas snowstorm that made it difficult to get to the arena, but still. At times, it gave the game an eerie sound, as the crowd noise was chillingly muted. I'm not sure who had a harder time with it: broadcast guys, who sounded nonplussed by the quiet, the production staff, who couldn't seem to stay away from depressing crowd shots, or the events staff, who clearly printed more "Crush the Canucks!" posters than they needed. They had so many, even, that they were giving them to Canucks fans. One little girl had folded over the "Crush the" portion and was proudly waving a sign that said "Canucks!" That girl is a genius.