I Watched This Game: Canucks at Ducks, March 6, 2011

Canucks 3 - 0 Ducks

After the highly contentious atmosphere in the Staples Center last night, the Honda Center was downright pleasant. It's not just that the Anaheim fans are generally more congenial (one woman gave us free hot dogs), but the building itself is a little nicer, a little more organic. Whereas the Staples Center is cold, metallic, and looming, provoking aggression and ill will, the pastel paint job and burnt sienna seating of the Honda Center provoke congeniality, oneness with humanity and spiritual contentment. The Ducks fans were downright nice, although it might have been that they were defeated from the outset. They were outnumbered by Canuck fans from the moment the doors opened, and their teams found themselves trailing less than a minute in, after Manny Malhotra scored on Vancouver's first shot. It was difficult for the Anaheim fans to muster much enthusiasm, especially since their attempts were quickly drowned out by the excitable Canucks contingent, like whom and with whom, [we] watched this game.

• Cory Schneider recorded his first NHL shutout tonight, getting his body in front of all 26 shots as though he didn't want to let in any goals. It was weird. He didn't have to be overly acrobatic in these saves, but Schneider never is. He's positionally sound, like a shooter tutor, but without all the holes. According to Sportsnet, he also scored all three Canucks goals, recording his first career hat trick (take that, Luongo!) Like Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, he played every role tonight. Unlike Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, it was a treat to watch him.

• It was less of a treat to watch Dan Ellis, who had many problems tonight. One of which was the first shot of the game, later extrapolated into the first shot of periods. Only in the third did he manage to stave off this problem, pushing it to the second shot. Ellis wasn't good tonight, but it may not have been his fault. It may not have been Ellis. The in-arena announcer introduced him as Dan Sexton. Was it Sexton? If so, that might explain why he sucked at playing goal.

• It's a shame Ellis wasn't on top of his game, as he only had to face 16 Canuck shots. Ryan Getzlaf, alone, had 11. The Canucks, as a whole, barely outshot Ryan Getzlaf. But don't rush to claim Vancouver was outplayed. After scoring so quickly in the first and second periods, they clearly saw no need to push the play.

• The 1/2 Pound Hot Dog sold at the Honda Center is obscenely large. It's almost as obscene, porkwise, as Antiochus Epiphanes' decision to sacrifice a pig on the altar of the temple in Jerusalem. Way uncool, Antiochus. Totally not rad.

• You might think we at PITB could run out of ways and reasons to praise Jannik "Baby Dragon" Hansen, but he continues to find new ways to amaze. On Saturday, he was the game-winning goal scorer, but tonight, he temporarily transformed into a playmaking wunderkind akin to Bertolt Brecht. Seriously, he was so Brechtian he broke the fourth wall. And on the second goal, it was impossible to miss his use of Verfremdungseffekt.

• Maybe the proximity to Hollywood Boulevard has inspired the third line to become star producers. They're the Weinsteins of the Canucks right now, and it shouldn't surprise. When this line originally broke out back in early November, it was during a mild scoring slump for the rest of the team. Unsurprisingly, they've again become the most consistent scorers during a dry spell for their more offensively inclined compatriots. This has been a longer spell, but it's merely meant a longer string of great play from Malhotra, Torres and Hansen. They've got 10 goals in their last eleven games, and they're doing it a number of different ways. Tonight, they scored one goal on the rush, and one goal on the forecheck.

• Meanwhile, Mason Raymond can't catch a break, save the literal way. You'll recall, back in December, when he scored a hat trick against Calgary and appeared to be finding his game, only to suffer a broken thumb and miss a month. Now, as he appeared to be re-finding his game, he injured his shoulder in an open-ice collision with a Duck player. He went straight to the dressing room, returning to test the shoulder for one shift, but then it was back to the dressing room. Word is he'll be re-evaluated Monday. Here's hoping the doctors declare him awesome and give him a sucker and a balloon.

• Rumour has it Keith Ballard has been playing injured, which might explain why Aaron Rome has been getting more icetime than him despite being objectively Aaron Rome. That said, Rome had more icetime tonight than every Canuck but Dan Hamhuis. Maybe everyone has groin injuries? It was probably the trip to Knott's Berry Farm. That roller coaster really jerks you around. Granted, Rome wasn't terrible tonight, but he also wasn't Christian Ehrhoff or Sami Salo. In short: like the Jews might have said two thousand years ago, I'm a little tired of Rome.

• The Ducks were really after Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis tonight. They may have been upset that his overt community work was upstaging CHOC night. He came out for the warmup skate with a fanny pack full of epi pens.

• I suspect the Ducks were actually trying to provoke Tanner Glass into a scrap, especially once he rebuffed George Parros' attempt to start one after the Canucks went up by two. We've seen, in the past, that when one team wants to fight and the other doesn't, the best method to force their hand is headhunting their top guys. Seeing as Hamhuis was almost always on the ice (23:55) and had just recently returned from a concussion (sustained against this very team), he was a provocative target. Anaheim charged him often, but thankfully, the Canucks stayed zen and, like Ferdinand the Bull, refused to fight.

• Speaking of Parros and Glass, it was interesting to see the two scrappers chat together before the game. We imagine the conversation went something like this: Hey, how are you? Pretty good. Want to fight later? Maybe. Isn't it great being an Ivy leaguer? Yeah, totally. Well, see you later.

• After a string of 16 unsuccessful man advantages, Daniel Sedin finally broke the slump by scoring a power play goal. How did he do it? Well, he turned Andreas Lilja into a Sedin and executed a perfect slap pass. I always suspected the Sedins were pod people.

• In an ironic twist, Maxim Lapierre was the featured player in the Anaheim Ducks' digest for this game. As an Anaheim Duck. Yikes. They should update their content.

• After the game, we met Matt and Savanna, a couple of local Bulies who had taken in the game. It was neat. As we walked to our car, they spotted Harrison's Tanner Glass shirt and shouted "Pass it to Bulis!" What followed was about a half hour of kindly chatting. They are solid people, which is more than I can say for the people of Futurama's planet Trisol. They are made of water.

• And finally, tonight marked our first meeting with mysterious third contributor Qris Johnson. He was a quality dude. He'll be taking over the next two IWTGs as we make the long trek from LA to Phoenix, then from Phoenix to San Jose. Be nice to him.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Kings, March 5, 2011

Canucks 3 - 1 Kings

After spending about twenty hours in the Nissan Versa, bickering about music selection, coining new swear words, and fighting off an invisible army of cramps, well, it was some sort of glorious reprieve to finally get to the hockey portion of the road trip. Not that there weren't highlights en route. For example: Bonnie Tyler's Faster Than the Speed of Night is about fifteen and a half minutes long, and it's the best quarter-hour you'll ever spend. A pack of Red Vines lasts forever. BTO's greatest hits is divisive. Medford, Oregon is a bit of a dump (as is their Ramada Inn), but the pool is frickin' immense. Miniature basketballs, when flung at the proper velocity, can leave large red welts on one's chest. The portions at Claim Jumper are sinfully massive. That said, it's still a long and exhausting journey--one that tests the will and drains the spirit--until the hockey part starts. Well, it started, we attended it and, while in attendance, [we] watched this game:

• The massive number of Canucks fans at the Staples Center was nothing short of astonishing. Downright egregious, even. After the first period, Kings fans stopped shouting Go Kings Go, because the chant immediately became Go Canucks Go (and you can't fight that, either; Canucks has harder phonetic sounds). The atmosphere in the building was electric as each team's fans fed off each other. In fact, it was often louder than the Nashville game from the other night. Shame on you, Vancouver Canucks fans in Vancouver. After the game, Canucks fans gathered into boisterous clusters, cheering and chanting. One fan tried to put his Trevor Linden jersey on the Wayne Gretzky statue out front (a clear jersey foul), before abandoning the attempt and draping a Canadian flag over the statue's shoulders instead. I was asked the question "What is a Canuck anyway?" by a curious Kings fan on the sidewalk as he marveled at the masses of blue and green. Another just took one look at my jersey and the smile on my face and said "F*** you!" In short, we were not welcome. Whatever. We won.

• Like palm trees in Los Angeles, Jannik Hansen was everywhere. The goal he scored was a classic bit of third-line grittery, as Hansen and Torres combined for some excellent forechecking and physical work down low before Torres swung the puck out front for Hansen to patiently pokecheck it into the net. He added 3 hits of the genus destructus and some solid work on the penalty kill, which took care of all 6 Kings' powerplays. Said Vigneault of the Delicious Dane: "He came out with a lot of fire in his cute little voice." That's Hansen, all right. Cute and full of fire. Jannik Hansen: baby dragon.

• I still owe Hansen a beer.

• The powerplay was the reciprocal of the penalty kill, going 0-for-6. There was simply not enough movement on the powerplay. It looked better as the game went on, and the Kings gave them ample opportunity to practice their powerplay skills, but the Canucks player on the half-wall (frequently Henrik) often ended up standing around waiting for something to open up while the rest of the powerplay unit stood around not opening anything up. The Canucks' struggles on the powerplay are becoming bothersome, as they haven't scored a powerplay goal in 5 straight games, going 0-for-15 in that stretch. They waste the man advantage like the Midianites.

• Drew Doughty was incensed after Daniel Sedin scored the go-ahead goal, going right after the referees and screaming that he was cross-checked. He didn't let it go either, yelling at the refs after being called for diving with 5 minutes left and continuing to berate the refs until they finally gave him a 10-minute misconduct in the final minute of the game. Watching the replay, there's no cross-check; Daniel merely pushes him away. Honestly, I just think he was embarrassed that he got so easily moved by a Sedin.

• Speaking of being easily moved by a Sedin, it was hard not to feel for Henrik when he flashed a pouty face after taking a Doughty high stick. The jumbotron couldn't get enough of Henrik's protruding lip, especially when Henrik later took a penalty. A shiny silver piece for anybody who finds us this image.

• The cycle on Daniel's goal was beautiful, if not quite wizardous. The activation of Ehrhoff from the point completely befuddled the Kings' defenders, leaving him with a clear path to the front of the net and a fabulous scoring chance. Quick was almost as upset as Doughty, suggesting that he was interfered with by Burrows. Burr did nudge him slightly as he passed by, but the bigger issue for Quick was having two of his own players crash down on top of him. Doughty was pushed slightly, but I suspect Willie Mitchell was just dizzy. He should learn proper spotting techniques to avoid this in the future.

• Kings are a chippy team, following the lead of their captain, Dustin Brown. Their activities after the whistle frequently got them in trouble and the Canucks broke their zen attitude in response. 17 penalties, but no fights. It was a bit like a playoff game. The only difference: it wasn't.

• Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis had yet another quietly effective game. He finished a game-high +3 in 24:24 of ice-time. He also played a team-high 5:08 on the penalty kill and spent the intermissions telling kids in Africa "I may kill penalties, but the deadliest killer is Malaria" before distributing bed nets.

• In the faceoff circle, Ryan Kesler went 13-for-16, Malhotra went 13-for-21, and Henrik went 7-for-12. So Henrik has to pay for the frozen yogurt.

• Aaron Rome was not good. At all. He dropped to minus-1 after getting outmuscled by Dustin Penner on Kings' only goal, and frequently made bad puck decisions. Still, he played more than Keith Ballard, including a full minute on the powerplay. I usually have an answer or, at worst, a theory as to why something is the way it is, but Rome's icetime is this season's most labyrinthine side story. Seriously, there's a minotaur in it.

• 4th line spent an inordinate amount of time pinned in the defensive zone against the Kings' top line. I suspect this was some sort of ploy to prove to Alain Vigneault they could handle the assignment. They were unconvincing.

• One thing that only the in-house audience would have been able to enjoy: it was Kings Mascot Bailey's birthday (apparently), prompting a visit from a bunch of other mascots, including Stinger (the Blue Jackets' mascot), Slapshot the Eagle (the Capitals' mascot), and Fin. The mascots played a game of hockey against some peewees during the first intermission and a game of quidditch against USC students during the second. In both contests, Fin was a freaking beast. In the intermission hockey game, he went all-out, scoring the only goal for the Mascots, all the while throwing heavy shoulders and slewfooting the tots. In the quidditch match, he captured the golden snitch. His mastery of these mini-games only prompted crowd jeering, but Fin didn't seem to care. He was on top of the world.

• Thanks to Qris for filling in for us while we conquered the great expanse between Vancouver and Los Angeles. He'll be covering the Phoenix and San Jose games as well. Make him feel welcome.

• Surprise of the night: Manny Malhotra is the most boisterous dancer in the post-game celebration. That is not the same as saying he is the best dancer, of course. Everybody knows the kid in the orange shirt is the best dancer.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Capitals, January 14, 2011

Canucks 4 - 2 Capitals

Just like their previous two games against the Rangers and Islanders, the Canucks outshot their opponents in the first period. Unlike the last two games, the Canucks continued the trend in the second, and it made all the difference. They came out of the first two periods with a two-goal lead, the worst lead in hockey, but I wasn't scared for a minute. The Canucks were playing too well to let that lead slip away. Thankfully, I was right. Unlike Patrick Stewart, I haven't seen everything, but I did see this game. Mainly because I watched this game.

• Jannik Hansen is amazing.

• Hrm, I should probably say more than that. Hansen had a fantastic game, earning first star honors (without the "u" because they were in the US) by notching two assists and being a general pain in the posterior to play against. He's not a flashy player: there's nothing big and exciting to his game, no one big moment to point to. He just does so many little things well. He constantly plays the right way and today was rewarded. Even his assist on Daniel's game-winning goal (seen above) was just another little thing that he does so well - just a pokecheck in the neutral zone to cause a turnover - but it was the difference in the game.

• Speaking of that goal, the shift leading up to it was the only time the fourth line got stuck in the defensive zone the entire game. And the only reason they got stuck there was a terrible pass to the point from Raffi Torres that sent the puck all the way down the ice and allowed Washington a chance to hem the Canucks in. I was incredibly frustrated with Torres in that moment because I was suddenly certain that the Capitals would score and that the fourth line, who played incredibly well, would shoulder the blame. Instead, Daniel scores the game-winner on another Norris-caliber play from Mike Green who, with great anticipation of the flow of play, steps up to make a big hit on Hansen instead of turning to try to catch Daniel on the breakaway. Lovely.

• Daniel Sedin must be thrilled right now, as he managed to score two goals without a single assist from Henrik. His second goal into the empty net gave him 27 on the season, good for third in the league, but more importantly gave him 57 points, two more than Henrik. Henrik's brazen insult to Daniel at the end of his Hart Trophy acceptance speech is coming back to haunt him.

• Speaking of things Henrik might regret, how about his terrible attempt at being a defenceman on the first goal of the game? Ehrhoff ended up in front of the Capitals goal and Henrik covered for him and by covered for him I mean he completely lost track of his check and drifted into the middle of the ice allowing Hendricks to go in completely alone and score. John Garrett had a helpful comment: He can't skate as fast backwards as he can going forwards. Thanks Garrett. Most people can't.

• In the absence of Aaron Rome, who left the game halfway through the first period with an MCL sprain, all the Canucks defense picked up some extra minutes, except Keith Ballard. Ballard's extra minutes apparently went to Kevin Bieksa, who played a season-high 28:35 to lead the Canucks in ice-time. The player who led the Capitals in ice-time was, unsurprisingly, Alex Ovechkin. This is not a coincidence. Bieksa clearly had the assignment of shutting down Ovechkin and did an admirable job. Ovechkin had only one decent goal-scoring chance and it came on the powerplay while Bieksa was not on the ice. This is because Ovechkin played for literally the entire powerplay (shift 18) and it would have been incredibly stupid for Bieksa to do the same.

• The rest of the defense also played well, with two goals coming from the blueline, both on fantastic slapshots. Jannik Hansen sent a perfect pass to the point for Edler's one-time bomb that tied up the game. Seriously, that pass was as flat as Saskatchewan and twice as pretty. Christian Ehrhoff's goal was similarly hard and low, like a pitch from Chad Bradford. The book on Semyon Varlamov is apparently to go for the bottom half of the net. It's not as interesting a book as "How To Fight Bears."

• Luongo was solid as Iraq as he turned aside 22 of 24 shots. His best save was his first save, stoning Nicklas Backstrom on the breakaway. He didn't need to be spectacular, but he earned the win.

• Despite each player finishing -1, the Jessie Spano line played pretty well, creating a lot of scoring chances and looked as dangerous as Croctopus (in 3D!) all game. For some odd reason, however, Raymond and Tambellini just haven't been able to finish their chances, which is a shame because Kesler has been setting them up so well recently. Favorite Kesler moment of the game, however, had to be when he pushed Ovechkin down to the ice by the back of his pants. The back of OV's jersey was tucked in, exposing the back of his pants, allowing Kesler to lodge his stick in and just push straight down. It was a cheap and hilarious play. Let's face it: Kesler is a bit of a [Washington Monument], but he's our [Hounen Matsuri sculpture].

• The third line, however, struggled once again. Raffi Torres and Mikael Samuelsson didn't get on the ice in the final 7 minutes of the game, as Alain Vigneault preferred to send out Manny Malhotra with Tanner Glass and Jannik Hansen instead (Bolduc left the game with a shoulder injury). Torres hasn't scored a goal in 8 games, Malhotra hasn't in 9 games and Samuelsson, 10 games. The Canucks will need tertiary scoring from these guys at some point.

• The Canucks were worse in the circle tonight than this poor kid. Bolduc was the best centre on the night, managing to win 2 of 4 draws for 50%. Malhotra, Sedin, and Kesler were 17%, 25% and 43% respectively. Disconcertingly, the Canucks were 4-for-21 in the defensive zone, which is normally a strength. Yikes.

• One of my favorite moments in the game came at the very end, after Daniel's empty-net goal. Tanner Glass is such a consummate team player, that even with 8 seconds left in the game and leading by two goals, Glass insists on going to the bench for a line change. See the game highlights video at the 4:00 mark for the magical moment. Classy guy.