Aaron Rome's Teammates Help Him Shave

PITB is all about classic, old-school, screwball comedy, so you know any time someone takes a gob to the gob, we're gonna be all over it. Here's an Aaron Rome postgame interview that comes to an abrupt halt when Kevin Bieksa, Tanner Glass, and Raffi Torres, doing their best Ryan Kesler impressions as they peer from behind the curtain, successfully conspire to smear shaving cream all over Rome's cheeks. It's a well-executed prank, probably because Keith Ballard isn't involved.

The irony is that this is probably the only time the media will ever be interested enough in Aaron Rome to interview him, and his teammates just ruined it. Later, they went out to Red Robin, told the waitress it was Rome's birthday, then threw the free sundae on the ground.

So what's the occasion for such jubilation? In his 100th game with the organization, Rome finally tallied his first goal as a Canuck, a 200-foot empty netter to seal a win in Nashville. This is only the second NHL goal of his career, and clearly, it's been a long time coming: the gleeful response from his teammates as the puck drifts over the goal line is classic. You'd have thought they were in the audience for Oprah's Favourite Things.

While Rome has all the makings of a lifelong NHL journeyman (he flies under the radar, his effort exceeds his talent, he's nearly bald at 27), he's found a home in Vancouver for the meantime. He's made some big contributions to this historic season, spending a substantial chunk of it playing a top four role because of the injuries the Canuck have suffered on the back end. All things considered, Rome probably deserves a look for the year-end unsung hero award, but most of the attention he's received for his tireless effort has been flack for getting so many minutes. Shame on you, everyone.

Anyway, it's nice to see him get a little positive recognition.

Tanner Glass Had Fun, Hints at Rematch in His Blog

By now, you've certainly heard more than enough about the Inaugural Canucks Scrabble Battle. If you recall: a couple weeks back, Tanner Glass and PITB came together for an epic charity Scrabble contest. It was great. The most important thing, of course, is that the event raised $9000 for Canuck Place. The second most important thing? I totally won.

Until yesterday, almost everyone had weighed in on the event, save mulleted runner-up, Tanner Glass. However, Glass finally broke the silence this afternoon, writing about the whole ordeal for his blog at Canucks.com. Let's us take us a look at what he said (and mince words):

The Scrabble Challenge was a huge success and I have to say it was such a great time. I could easily be convinced to play again next year. It was so much fun playing with the help of Jaxson, John, and Kayden from Canuck Place. They were great teammates and they definitely helped me out.

Great time indeed. "I could be easily convinced," he says. Sounds more like "I am clamoring." This is rematch talk, you guys.

I'm not surprised, mind you. I'm the Alex Burrows of Scrabble; I necessitate retaliation. Obviously, next time there will have to be a couple changes: 1) If Tanner gets genius kids in his corner (MENSWEAR, seriously?), I want a genius kid too. Heck, I want the kid from Smart Guy.

In all seriousness, we'll definitely have to do it again, if for no other reason than to unretire the Tanner Glass: Scrabble Champ t-shirts, which sold out so fast it seems like nobody got one. You know a shirt goes quickly when the guy whose likeness graces the front can't get one for his fiancee in her size. That's nuts. Here's Tanner, on the shirts:

We raised nearly $9,000 through donations and T-shirt sales. The t-shirts went pretty quickly and by the time I got in there to buy some, they were sold out of most sizes. I'm a little disappointed that they didn't order more t-shirts for the event and that they aren't selling them anymore. I definitely think we would have raised more money.

We agree wholeheartedly. It's a shame the Canucks didn't print more shirts, but we understand why they didn't. Nobody (save our dedicated readers) could have predicted the shirts would sell out so quickly.

On one hand, it was unfortunate, as a lot of people didn't get shirts, but on the other hand, it's probably a good thing. Better the shirts went immediately than that they didn't go at all. Plus, now the Canucks know that, the next time they partner up with PITB, they need to make a larger order. The shirts will be back.

The guys at Passittobulis were awesome sports. It was quite a competitive game and I must admit I was a little nervous before the game started, especially with everyone crowded around my letters and judging my every move! The mood lightened as the game went on, and it turned out to be a fun-filled special event. And if Harrison hadn't received the best draw of letters in the history of scrabble, I think the game would have ended up differently.

I was nervous too, and I--whoa, hold on a second. Is that trash talk? I think it is.

Let us be clear: I did not receive the best draw in the history of Scrabble. Top ten? Perhaps. The definitive best? There's simply no way of knowing. Scrabble historians are few and far between. But like it would have mattered. I was lucky, but people say you've got to be good to be lucky. Good equals lucky. It stands to reason, then, that: luckiest ever = best ever. Hence, I am the best ever.

And I'm more than willing to back up that fuzzy logic. Consider Tanner's tacit request for a rematch accepted. (#RescrabbleMeTanner).

Not until next season, though. There are more pressing things at hand. But, once the season ends, Skeeter and I will be speaking to Canucks.com about our plans for a second Scrabble battle, which (at least in our heads) includes a bit more fanfare, a lot more money for Canuck Place, a few more competitors, and a lot more Scrabble. Possible glitch? Our friend Tanner's a free agent. If he's not back, we're gonna lose it.

Be sure to read the rest of Tanner Glass's blog, wherein you will learn that Raffi Torres is good at golf. Of course he is. Considering the teams he's been on, he's had a lot of practice.

HNIC Revisits the Tanner Glass Scrabble Challenge

I'm sure you're getting a little tired of Canucks Scrabble coverage, but we've had requests for the Subway bio clip featuring Tanner Glass. With that, (and thanks again to the remarkably generous CanucksHD), here's last Saturday's Hockey Night Subway bio, featuring Tanner Glass, PITB, and a brief return to the Canucks' Scrabble challenge. As you can see, HNIC smartly avoided any photos that would feature yours truly, instead opting for candid shots of the extremely photogenic Tanner Glass. I'd have done the same. Wise choice, CBC.

Scott Oake seems confused as to who won, but he's got a decent line on DOUGHIER: I think that's what happens to goaltenders after they quit playing. Likely a shot at Kelly Hrudey, like every other joke he makes. Funny stuff, although I prefer Daniel's line: As in, Harrison is doughier than Tanner Glass. It's funny 'cause it's true.

Canucks TV: Canucks Scrabble Battle

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Blues, February 24, 2011

Canucks 3 - 2 Blues

I feel like we've been spouting this statistic a lot lately, but the Canucks still haven't lost two consecutive regulation games since November. I used to be impressed; now I'm just annoyed. I mean, they keep alternating wins and losses, forcing me to point to this statistic every second game. No more, friends. Here's a new stat: the Canucks haven't won two consecutive games in regulation since the beginning of this month. In short, the Canucks are probably sellers.

Okay, maybe not, especially not after a victory (he said, sounding a lot like a shortsighted NHL GM). I'm not a fan of the alternating wins and losses, but I'm a fan of the wins, and I quite enjoyed the effort the team put forth in order to get one last night. The Canucks had another solid response game, bouncing back from the loss to the Montreal Canadiens with a complete team effort versus the St. Louis Blues. Every line was effective, Cory Schneider played great in net, and the Canucks fended off a team in dire need of points to collect two of their own. Additionally (and most importantly), I watched this game:

• The Canucks' third line has been excellent since being reunited the last time the Canucks played the Blues on February 14. How appropriate that their chemistry would be rekindled on Valentine's Day (for inappropriate ways to build chemistry, see the Lonely Island). The third line has 11 points, combined, in their last six games, and has contributed 6 goals. For the slow-witted: that's a goal a game. If you can count on your third line for a goal each game, you'll probably do all right.

• I was impressed that John Garrett's Hockey Know How segment (often a strange segment in which Garrett seems oddly unacquainted with the clip he himself has selected), managed to actually inform me for once. He went over the game-winning goal (above), pointing out the way Torres's hit on Colaiacovo not only freed up the puck, but took his man away from the net and out of the play. In fact, Torres didn't even really hit him--he just moved him. There was more, though. Hansen picked up an assist on the goal in the only way he knows how: with a pokecheck. Gosh, Hansen loves to poke. If he ever commits a serious crime, we need to make sure the judge doesn't order him to do trash pickup for community service. He'd have way too much fun.

• Manny Malhotra scored the game-winner, which was a major windfall for him and his line, but I don't like the way people are talking as though he's finally contributing. Malhotra took 2 faceoffs in the offensive zone and 12 in the defensive zone. Vigneault doesn't put him on the ice to score.

• Raffi Torres had a game-high 5 hits, a couple impressive backchecks (2 takeaways), and zero baffling passes to nowhere. Kudos.

• I watched tonight's game with Cam Davie of Canucks Army, who is a quality dude. Just wanted to throw that out there.
  

• You want to talk Wizardous Sedinerie? How about Mikael Samuelsson's goal, which comes by way of some remarkable cycling by the Sedins in the corner. Seriously, they make the St. Louis defensemen look like the Washington Generals. The Sedins cycled so spectacularly nobody even noticed they were on motorcycles the whole time. And make no mistake: Tanev may have been sneaking in the backdoor, but that pass really was meant for Samuelsson. Only Henrik Sedin thinks of passing into someone's gut, but that's what he did.

• You might not have noticed, but Aaron Rome finished the game with less icetime than Keith Ballard. To quote Werner Herzog in Encounters at the End of the World, "Is this a great moment?" Yes it is. Ballard simply brings more to the table than Rome, and it appears that he's finally earning his coach's trust. Of course, Rome's reduced icetime might have to do with his play on the David Backes goal. Word of warning to amateur hockey players: never lazily sweep the puck to David Backes in the high slot. That's like giving a baby a loaded handgun. Worse, a baby with a history of assault with a firearm, like Maggie Simpson.
  

• Another reason for a reduction in Rome's icetime might have been the pairings: after Vigneault built himself a top four of Hamhuis with Ehrhoff and Ballard with Salo, Rome defaulted to the bottom pairing with low-minute man Chris Tanev. It definitely didn't take Hammy long to return to form. He played a game-high 23:53, finishing with four shots, two hits, and two blocks. He also acted as a steadying presence for Ehrhoff, from whom we've seen some jittery play lately. Meanwhile, Ballard and Salo were paired together, which made a lot of sense. Once everyone's healthy, this is likely the bottom pairing for the Canucks, so it's wise of Alain Vigneault to put them together right away.
  

• It was great to see Sami Salo score, too, especially in the vintage way they he did it. Nobody is better at shading in from the point for that exact one-timer, and it's nice to see this weapon return. Salo's shot remains a laser. Heck, it's not just any laser, either; it's a moonraker. Short of the golden gun, Sami Salo's shot is the best weapon in Goldeneye 64.

• Tanner Glass only played five minutes in this game, but he was granted third star honours for his play in that time, as he finished a goal short of the Gordie Howe hat trick. He did, however, pick up a Tanner Glass hat-trick, which is a goal, an assist, and bevy of Scrabble jokes from the broadcast team (the best one courtesy of Dan Murphy, postgame). His pass to Salo showed some great vision, and his fight with BJ Crombeen gave the Canucks some life early in the first period. That fight, by the way, came after Crombeen claimed, just prior to the faceoff, that MENSWEAR was two words.

• The Canucks did a great job of keeping Alex Steen, somehow the Blues' Canuck-killer, off the scoresheet. He finished a minus-1 and had 4 of his shots blocked, more than any other player. Think Vigneault talked to his guys about this? I do. Mind you, the Canucks were blocking shots all over the place. They blocked 17 shots overall, including 11 from their defense alone, and 7 from the Ballard/Salo pairing. It worries me to think of Sami Salo blocking a lot of shots, but now that his bones are mush, how much damage can it really do?

• Welcome Damien Cox to Sportsnet, everyone. and stop throwing things at your televisions, that's what he wants. And you, get down from there. Don't you dare kick that chair out from underneath you.

• Rough second period for the Canucks, but that'll happen. Look no further than the Blues' first period. I could have sworn the Blues got a defenseman back when they traded Erik Johnson, but it looked to me like one of their defense pairings was missing a guy for the first twenty minutes. Did anyone notice that the Blues gave up 17 shots and about seventy-six odd-man rushes?

• And finally, Mason Raymond played a very good game. No goals and he missed some chances, but he generated more, and had six shots on net. I haven't been happy with his play of late (and I suspect, neither has he), but I hope he stays with the team through the deadline. If he can continue to play like he did tonight, it wouldn't be worth the jolt to team chemistry to bring someone else in.
  

I Watched This [Scrabble] Game: Team Mooney vs. Team Glass, February 23, 2011

What an incredible experience. Our thanks goes out to Tanner Glass, Derek Jory, Canuck Place, Hasbro Canada, Annie May, and the Canucks organization for helping to make this all happen. Harrison and I are amazed at how our silly little Scrabble challenge turned into an opportunity to raise an estimated $8000 for Canuck Place. We are humbled by the outpouring of support for this little event: thank you.

We got to Canuck Place a little early and met up with our videographer/photographer, Roderick, who agreed to help us out last minute. Roderick was amazing and we're looking forward to sharing the video we're putting together with him. Keep an eye on Canucks.com, however, for the official video of the event. Jeff Vinnick was also on hand and took some amazing photos, while Ed Willes provided comments from the peanut gallery and an excellent article for the Province. I moved into the corner and set up Live Blog Central, which hovered around 200 followers from beginning to end, and had just over 800 readers in total.

In the end, Harrison was victorious, though Tanner and his crew of awesome kids mounted an incredible comeback: the Highlight of the Night was definitely "menswear," though the TSN Turning Point was Harrison's Bingo with "doughier," using two blanks and a triple word score. But I didn't watch the highlights. I watched this game.

• Tanner Glass is a large dude. I understand he's 6'1", 210 lbs, but when you see him on TV on the ice with other players of similar size it doesn't have the same impact. When he walks into a room that has tables meant to be used by children, however, he is massive. It's a good thing it wasn't Scrabble Boxing, or Harrison would have been in real trouble.

• In all seriousness, Tanner was very friendly, even though it was clear he didn't know what to expect from us. I have to give him a lot of credit for accepting the challenge and putting himself out there to benefit the kids at Canuck Place. I suspect he's getting a fair amount of razzing from his teammates and, possibly, opponents. I wonder if that's part of the smack talk on the ice now when someone challenges him: are you sure you want to get in a fight? I might make you forget all the Q without U words.

• Tanner was asked about his educational background helping him out in Scrabble, and he quipped "There's no Scrabble course at Dartmouth. It's no Harvard, that's for sure." Classic.

• Meanwhile, a young lady surreptitiously stood behind Tanner for most of the game with her cell phone out, tweeting Tanner's tiles as @VanCanucks and getting advice from those following the game. The biggest celebrity guest star on the night was @BrentButt, who suggested "inuit." Unfortunately, "inuit" is a proper noun and is ineligible in Scrabble. Instead, Tanner played "dint" for 25 points, completing three other words in the process. I think Tanner could beat Brent Butt at Scrabble. Just saying.

• Some have pointed out that Harrison got some incredible luck with the tiles he drew, getting high-powered letters like X, Q, Z, and J as well as both blanks. It's important to realize, however, that he made the high-risk move to trade in his tiles early on, keeping only the J. It was in that round that he drew both blanks that led to his bingo with "doughier" as well as the Z. It was a calculated risk that paid off.

• Aaron Rome is labelled in the pre-game video as the "Forgotten Scrabbler." He and I should get together and play a game. We forgotten Scrabblers need to stick together.

• True to Aaron Rome's prediction, Tanner played a grinding game, clawing his way back with three and four-letter words and playing a strong defensive game by locking down the triple-word scores as soon as they opened up. He also used some good teamwork by getting advice from the kids, including his best play of the game with "menswear." Jaxson was the brain behind that play and he was beaming. His play in the Scrabble game illustrates why Glass has made himself a staple on the Canucks fourth line: he keeps it simple, plays hard, and is a good teammate.

• Jannik Hansen's smack talk in the pre-game tips video is absolutely hilarious. He claims that Tanner is the third or fourth best Scrabbler on the team and that the North Americans do their best to avoid being beaten by the Europeans, for whom english is a second language. It's clear that Hansen isn't just a dogged competitor on the ice. I wonder if he's ever been able to spell pokecheck in a game?

• My favorite moment in that video, however, comes when Burrows sees the Scrabble Champ t-shirt and Tanner walks behind him, commenting "sick, eh?" then continues on. Major props to Annie May for the design and I love the fact that Tanner is a big fan of the shirts.

• Speaking of the t-shirts, they sold so quickly that Tanner wasn't even able to get one in the right size for his fiancée, Emily. She wore it anyways, supporting Glass the whole way. Harrison and I stopped by the Canucks Team Store after the Scrabble Battle and picked up a couple shirts for family members; there were only 2 shirts remaining after we left. We're hopeful that they will decide to do another run of the shirts in the future; they might be encouraged to do so if people who wanted shirts sent a friendly note to them...

• Thanks to everyone who joined in on the live blog. Some of the jokes and comments were shared with Tanner and Harrison. "Booing the refs" got big laughs and a few groans from everyone, and "We all know a 55-point lead is the most dangerous lead in Scrabble" got a good reaction as well. Kudos to deb and Ione for the wisecracks. I also appreciated Barbara Aucoin dropping by to suggest that I should play her son at Scrabble. Since Adrian Aucoin has clearly retired from the NHL and definitely doesn't play hockey any more, I suspect he spends most of his free time Scrabbling. I'm really not sure if I'm good enough at Scrabble to take him on.

• Final score of the game was 344 - 313 for Harrison. According to the Scrabble website, an average tournament score is 330 - 450 points per game, so an impressive showing for both Mooney and Glass, neither of whom are Scrabble experts (Andy Sutton really wanted to know). Harrison, of course, talks a big game and he definitely is good at Scrabble, but he's not the "Scrabble pro" that he was played up to be. Tanner, on the other hand, was better than we expected as he had downplayed his skill prior to the game. Admittedly, he got a little help from the Canuck Place kids, but he played a solid game. You can see the final board at Canucks.com/scrabble.

• Finally, the presence of an actual trophy and the phenomenal success in raising money for Canucks Place has whet our appetites to do this again. My hope is that we can get more people involved and have a Celebrity Scrabble Tournament next year, involving Canuck players, other local celebrities, and members of the community. Obviously, this is just an idea at this point, but only a few months ago, playing Tanner Glass at Scrabble was also just an idea.

Quick Hits (From Behind): Scrabble Edition

Quick Hits (From Behind) is an irregular feature on Pass it To Bulis, wherein two hockey fans chip in their thoughts on current hockey news and get assessed a five-minute major and a game misconduct.

With the inaugural Scrabble Battle now in the books, and the surreal fog of yesterday's visit to Canuck Place now worn off (aided by the fact I overslept for work this morning), it seems the only thing left to do is file and alphabetize the memories.

PITB will have a full write-up with photos and video with all our thoughts and observations on the event sometime next week (and Skeeter is furiously preparing an IWTG) but, for now, we'll leave things in the hands of the capable writers at the Vancouver Province, Vancouver Sun, and Canucks.com. After the jump, a special Scrabble edition of the Quick Hits (From Behind):

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• Canucks' Tanner Glass Rises to Scrabble Challenge -- Ed Willes, the Province

Ed Willes was in the room for the whole event, occasionally chiming in with amusing remarks or tallying up the score faster than I could. He claims he comes from a Scrabble family, but even he seemed downright impressed to learn that "doughy" had a comparative form. I think I could take him. Anyhow, Willes's article is today's must-read. And, if for some reason, the Internet's not your cuppa tea, you can find this piece on the front page of the Province. Good thing there's no news today.

“Basically, the plan was to challenge him, then make fun of him when he turned us down,” said Mooney, one of the founders of the Pass it to Bulis website and the driving force behind the event.

He ruined the joke. But created something worthwhile in its place.

Wednesday at Canuck Place, Glass, the Canucks’ irrepressible fourth-line winger, faced off against Mooney in the first-ever Canucks’ Scrabble Battle and, friends, if that picture doesn’t get your adrenaline flowing, there’s something wrong.

OK, in all honesty, it doesn’t seem like two-man Scrabble will catch on as a spectator event, but if the action was less than riveting, it succeeded in raising $8,000 for the charity.

Less than riveting? Tanner spelled MENSWEAR! That's insane. From where I'm sitting, Scrabble is far more entertaining than poker. Mind you, where I'm sitting, at least in the photo below, is across from Tanner Glass, playing Scrabble. That is to say, I'm biased; it's pretty entertaining from there.

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• Friendly War of Words -- Derek Jory, Canucks.com

Awesome Canucks.com writer Derek Jory was also there, and his article takes you through some of the moves in a little more depth.

In the Game’s Room at Canuck Place, Glass and Mooney sat opposite each other for 45 minutes, sweat trickling down their foreheads, deadlocked in the friendliest war of words around.

It started with Glass making the first move, the benefactor of having earned more pledges than Mooney by a count of $2,435 to $1,565, and maneuvering his way through letters BAIOWRE, he played WEAR for 14 points. And they were off to the races.

It was difficult to predict how this game would unfold being there live – would it be like watching paint dry or was drama in the tiles – but before anyone had time to digest the first move and wait around for a second, Mooney replied with WAITER, playing down off the w from wear, for 18 points.

If you're wondering, the BAIOWRE is also the name of the Scott Baio fan club I belonged to as a child. But you can't play proper nouns anyway.

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• Canucks Scrabble Photo Gallery

Make sure you check out all the photos in the Canucks Scrabble photo gallery, all of which manage to capture my good side, except for below. If you're wondering, my best angles are the back of my head and not pictured.

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• Canucks' Scrabble Battle With Glass No Pushover For Local Blogger -- Ian Walker, Puckworld

And finally, Ian Walker decides to take the antagonistic route, needling me for winning by such a narrow margin.

For a guy talking a heck of a lot of smack going into the Scrabble Battle, blogger Harrison Mooney of should consider himself lucky. Mooney defeated Tanner Glass 344-314 at the inaugural event at Canucks Place. If not for two blank chips used to form the word 'doughier,' which resulted in a score of 76 points, it could well have been a different story.

“I thought he was going to be a lot better than he was,” said Glass.

To Ian, I say, a win is a win, Walker. Additionally, Harrison Mooney does not take kindly to people pointing out the gross exaggeration of his boasting. This calls for a vendetta.

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The Inaugural Scrabble Battle Live Blog Extravaganza

Welcome to the Inaugural Scrabble Battle Live Blog Extravaganza, the ultimate Scrabble showdown between Vancouver Canucks' winger Tanner Glass and PITB co-founder Harrison Mooney. By now, you probably know that the game is for charity, with all proceeds benefitting the Canucks For Kids Fund. It's not too late to donate. I'm your host, Daniel "Skeeter" Wagner, PITB's other co-founder, and I'll be live at this game's top-secret location (in a bunker off the coast of Yemen*), hanging on every tile. Watch the virtual board at Canucks.com/Scrabble and join the discussion below. Try to be hilarious. We go live at 3pm PST.

*It's an underwater bunker.

Tanner Glass Thinks We're Witty, But We're Onto Him

So Tanner Glass thinks we're witty. He's right, too. We're the Oscar Wilde of Canucks blogs*. All over the blogosphere, people talk of our biting wit, flamboyant dress, and glittering conversation. Anyway, here's Tanner, talking about our impending Scrabble Battle (the Battle at Helm's Deep of athlete versus blogger board game battles) in his latest blog for Canucks.com:

Also coming up in the next two weeks will be the much-anticipated Scrabble Challenge against the guys from Pass It To Bulis. I’ve been trying to practice here and there, but to be honest, I’m most looking forward to raising money for the Canucks for Kids Fund. T-shirts will be available soon, so keep your eyes peeled. I’ll make sure to give another update after the event to make sure you guys don’t just get the Pass It To Bulis point of view with their witty banter. Wish me luck!

Wish me luck, he says. Ha! Forget that noise. Wish me luck (#TeamMooney)! It's time I came right out and said it. Too many of you are smitten with Tanner because of his underdog status. Everybody's on #TeamGlass. Friends, family, and Bulies can't help but love him.

I say Tanner's goodness is a brilliant ploy. He sounds like the nicest guy in the world. You think he's that nice naturally? I say bah. With a bevy of media people telling me how to behave, I'd seem good too. Instead, I'm the monomaniacal nerd everyone wants to fail. It's all marketing!** I mean, come on. Listen to him, coyly trying to make it seem as though he's not practicing day and night. I see through Tanner's strategy. He's playing possum. Know how I know? Photographic evidence. Know how else I know? Steven Turnbull. There's a conspiracy here. I'm about to blow your mind.

You'll recall, in Derek Jory's article, a lengthy section detailing the importance of the first move, as per Steven Turnbull, Scrabble genius/Facebook addict and mayor of Lashburn, Saskatchewan. I found this entire section suspicious. Why is Turnbull so available for a quote? How come he never returns my calls? Then I realized: Tanner Glass is from Saskatchewan. Glass and Turnbull are in cahoots. Heck, Turnbull might even be tutoring Glass nightly. The Canucks probably fly him into Vancouver every evening on the team jet. I mean, he's definitely got the time. He's the mayor of a city, and he admits to playing 100 games of Scrabble on Facebook a day. Do the Lashburn voters know what their elected official is doing?

I do, gosh darn it. He's teaching Glass everything he knows. He's the Pai Mei to Tanner's Beatrix Kiddo, the Master Roshi to Tanner Glass's young Goku. Soon, Glass will have a Scrabbling level of over 9000, and he has the audacity to say we're witty, hoping that flattery will disguise his diabolical strategies. Well, Tanner, we aren't just witty; we're wise to you.

Mind you, being wise to something does not equal being able to prevent something. I'm probably screwed.

I cannot stress the importance of that first move. Please (please! please!) donate on my behalf. Also, go buy shirts. The Canucks only printed 150, and if you want them to print more, this first shipment's gonna have to sell out in a hurry. Let's keep them stocked in the team store for awhile. They look really good there.


*We have nothing else in common with Oscar Wilde.
**I once tried to use this excuse to get out of vacuuming, but my wife would have none of it.

The Purpose of the Canucks' Fourth Line? Prospect Development

For much of the season, the Canucks' 4th line has been a target for criticism. It's been a patchwork unit all year long, with little in the way of consistency (save the presence of Tanner Glass). Worse, the players the Canucks have placed on it have had such varying skillsets and playing styles that we once speculated that the team had no idea what we they wanted from the 4th line.

Guys like Guillaume Desbiens and Aaron Volpatti indicated a desire for toughness; guys like Peter Schaefer and Mario Bliznak indicated a desire for a checking line; guys like Joel Perrault and Cody Hodgson indicated a sudden hope of tertiary scoring. The personnel and personality of the 4th changed so drastically from night to night, it often seemed as though the Canucks were simply hoping to trip over the answer.

On Thursday, Mike Gillis was on the Team 1040 morning show with Scotty Rintoul and Ray Ferraro, and while querying him on the somewhat puzzling timing of the Cody Hodgson callup, Scotty finally asked him directly about the seeming inconsistency of the 4th line. Gillis's response was more than a little interesting:

The 4th line--there's been a lot made of it--but we've intentionally brought players in and out to give them experience, and to get them familiar with what goes on here and play in games here. We've used it as a little bit of a development tool, because we want to get these young players into game experience in the NHL. And, even if they're not ready to be as consistent as we'd like, you still want them to get familiar with everything that goes on: game days, how it works, getting on the plane, familiar with the training staff, familiar with their teammates. So we've used that as a little bit of an experiment the whole year, and now we feel pretty confident that we have young players [for whom] it won't be a big surprise if we have to use them down the stretch or in the playoffs. [...] Even though we might have wanted more consistency out of that line, we have used it for different purposes at different times, so it's a little unfair to say we've been searching for something.

In short: the Canucks aren't searching for something. They're prospecting.

Gillis admits here that the line has lacked consistency to the naked eye--that it's appeared, at times, the Canucks were on a bit of a mapless treasure hunt--but he also gives a solid explanation. The primary purpose of the Canucks' 4th line under Gillis and Vigneault isn't to provide checking, grit, or additional scoring--it's to provide development and experience to the players in the Canucks' prospect system. As for what the Canucks expect of these young players, it's simply this: to play their game, and to gain the experience necessary to improve it.

Friend of Tanner Glass and exceptionally cool tweep @RayDerge recently pointed out that The Scrabble Champ has been on the ice for the first NHL goal of four separate guys this season, as Mario Bliznak, Alex Bolduc, Aaron Volpatti, and Cody Hodgson all lit the lamp on his line (begging the question of whether Glass is being intentionally utilized as a mentor, especially considering his leadership history). Bearing in mind what Gillis has told us about the purpose of the 4th line, this has to be a win for the Canucks. In fact, through this new lens, the Canucks' 4th line appears to be doing exactly what it's supposed to: giving invaluable experience to a long list of young'uns.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Wild, January 16, 2011

Canucks 0 - 4 Wild

Every so often, good hockey teams comes down with a case of bogusness. Suddenly, they flub passes, fan on shots, miss defensive coverages, and skate around like the walking dead, more suited to converging on the Monroeville Mall than the Xcel Energy Center. It can be terribly difficult to watch a team do hockey in these instances, as they seem to have forgotten how entirely. When this happens to your team, hockey fan, it is advised, for your sanity, that you A) stop watching, and B) do not continue watching. That is, unless you're committed to a blog that does game recaps for every game, even the awful ones that are more torturous than the last game you described as torturous. Sigh. I watched this game:

• Allowing Henrik Lundqvist to shut you out: acceptable. Allowing Anton Khudobin (emphasis on the who?) to shut you out: less acceptable. Granted, Khudobin stopped 32 shots and deserves congratulations for his first NHL shutout, but he was vomiting rebounds like a fat guy out of a Monty Python sketch. Despite gift-wrapping some dandy tap-ins and putting himself out of position more than a few times, he never needed to worry, as the Canucks reacted to all yawning cages by yawning back.

• How bad were the Canucks last night? Shorthouse and Garrett remarked--on two occasions--that Martin Havlat was having a good defensive game. When you make Martin Havlat look defensively sound, you are playing poorly.

• Speaking of the broadcast team, we often rag on John Garrett for being an insane homer, but John Shorthouse has his moments as well. Consider, for instance, his liberal use of the word "shutout," from the middle of the second period onward. This can only have been a brazen attempt to jinx Khudobin into letting one past him, but unfortunately, Shorthouse is as terrible at cursing someone as Wendy, the Good Little Witch.

• Also awesome homerism: when Shorty tried to wish his son a happy birthday, and the cameras went to random boys in the crowd. Shorty made sure to mention these kids weren't his kid, and when Garrett remarked that a boy in a Wild jersey resembled Shorty's son slightly, Shorty snapped back that his son wouldn't be wearing a Wild jersey.
  

• If you want an example of how terrible the Canucks were, look no further than their 4th goal against: the Canucks control the puck for about a minute, seemingly incapable of making two crisp feeds. Passes are in legs, overskated, off skates and over sticks. Minnesota is content to sit back while the Canucks dick around, so they hardly forecheck during this comedy of errors. Then, after bungling for an entire shift, the Canucks finally dump the puck in and make a sloppy line change. Their forechecker, Jannik Hansen, is so slow to pressure that Minnesota is already in transition by the time he gets there. The Wild have the the puck for ten seconds. In that time, Alex Edler gives up the zone, then gives up the boards, and Raffi Torres goes for a skate while his man, John Madden finds himself open in front for a tap-in. I'm sure the team will be watching video of this sequence, as they looked slow, inept, and out of sync, and Minnesota made them look stupid.
  

• My wife, upon watching that sequence: "Wow, Minnesota is fast." No, honey, they most definitely are not. But there was a time when people thought a 28.8 modem was fast, too. It just depends on what you're comparing it to.

• Shorty and Garrett lauded Alex Edler on his strong play lately, noting that he hadn't been a minus player in ten games. In an effort to make up for this, Edler put in a minus-3 performance, including gift-wrapping a breakaway for Marty Havlat goal with a beautiful drop pass. Perhaps he realized he's not ready to be thought of as the number one guy, and was simply managing expectations?

• This is two losses in three games, and while it's tempting to say the Canucks are so good the only way to beat them is to shut them out, let's be more damning. The Canucks are mired in a brutal scoring slump right now, shut out twice on this road trip and looking completely uninterested in scoring goals at times. Ignore the four they put up in Washington; there are Timbits minor hockey teams that could score on the Capitals.

• Because our complementary scoring has been solid for two seasons now, People often forget that the Canucks' offense lives and dies with the Wizards of the Coast. Henrik Sedin has now gone three games without a point. The last time Henrik had three or more pointless games was last February, when he didn't get on the board in four straight. The Canucks went 1-3 in that span. Here's hoping a wide open game in Colorado breaks the slump before the Canucks repeat that exact scenario.

• You know who needs offense? The Canucks. Know who's on a pretty impressive scoring streak? Sergei Shirokov. Know who doesn't have an extra forward on the roster right now? The Canucks. Know who they should call up? Mario Bliznak.
  

• While there are no excuses for playing this badly, here's one: The Canucks are exhausted. After six games in nine nights, they immediately began a five-game road trip that's taken them across the country and back. You could say the dense January schedule appears to be catching up with them. Good teams can overcome a bit of sand in their skates, but there are going to be games like this one, where they simply don't have the legs. This is cause for concern, however, because the schedule doesn't let up for quite awhile.

• Watch Christian Ehrhoff try to catch Matt Cullen on the shorthanded goal (2:50 of above clip). Daniel Sedin outskates him. Daniel Sedin.

• The Wild's first goal probably shouldn't have counted. Last I checked, you couldn't score by having a super orgy porno party on top of the goaltender, then driving him into the net with a Shoryuken. Maybe this is a new rule.

• People often criticize Alain Vigneault for juggling lines last night like Zack Morris trying to have three dates at once, but when every single one of your scorers suddenly becomes dead weight, you'll try anything. The truth is that the players hate line-juggling as much as the fans do. The coach knows this; it's an in-game punishment. The way to earn consistent linemates is to be consistent. When he mixes up the lines, Vigneault isn't just guessing or hoper-groping--he's sending a message to his team.

• Speaking of AV, I love the way he chews gum when his team is crapping the bed. Slightly harder. Is that a tell or what? I want to play poker with Alain Vigneault. #PokerMeAlain

• Ryan Kesler was 4-for-14 in the faceoff circle. His thumb is clearly still bothering him. I hope, for his sake, he takes care of that thing before he loses it, or he'll have to go through life unable to hitchhike or co-host film review programs.

• Mason Raymond has regressed to the perimeter play he appeared to have grown out of early last season. Let's hope this is just temporary and he finds that other gear soon. He's not even on pace for twenty goals, and he's supposed to be an anchor on the second line.

• Poor Cory Schneider has gone from being Roy Halladay of the Philadelphia Phillies to Roy Halladay of the Toronto Blue Jays. Poor guy could use some run support.
  

• In the absence of Alex Bolduc, Tanner Glass spent some time in the middle. He was 3-for-5 on draws, which means he's been above 50% in both games as the 4th line center. I knew he was smart, but I'm concerned at how quickly he's learning. What else can he become proficient at in a short period of time? I need to go practice my Scrabble.
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Capitals, January 14, 2011

Canucks 4 - 2 Capitals

Just like their previous two games against the Rangers and Islanders, the Canucks outshot their opponents in the first period. Unlike the last two games, the Canucks continued the trend in the second, and it made all the difference. They came out of the first two periods with a two-goal lead, the worst lead in hockey, but I wasn't scared for a minute. The Canucks were playing too well to let that lead slip away. Thankfully, I was right. Unlike Patrick Stewart, I haven't seen everything, but I did see this game. Mainly because I watched this game.

• Jannik Hansen is amazing.

• Hrm, I should probably say more than that. Hansen had a fantastic game, earning first star honors (without the "u" because they were in the US) by notching two assists and being a general pain in the posterior to play against. He's not a flashy player: there's nothing big and exciting to his game, no one big moment to point to. He just does so many little things well. He constantly plays the right way and today was rewarded. Even his assist on Daniel's game-winning goal (seen above) was just another little thing that he does so well - just a pokecheck in the neutral zone to cause a turnover - but it was the difference in the game.

• Speaking of that goal, the shift leading up to it was the only time the fourth line got stuck in the defensive zone the entire game. And the only reason they got stuck there was a terrible pass to the point from Raffi Torres that sent the puck all the way down the ice and allowed Washington a chance to hem the Canucks in. I was incredibly frustrated with Torres in that moment because I was suddenly certain that the Capitals would score and that the fourth line, who played incredibly well, would shoulder the blame. Instead, Daniel scores the game-winner on another Norris-caliber play from Mike Green who, with great anticipation of the flow of play, steps up to make a big hit on Hansen instead of turning to try to catch Daniel on the breakaway. Lovely.

• Daniel Sedin must be thrilled right now, as he managed to score two goals without a single assist from Henrik. His second goal into the empty net gave him 27 on the season, good for third in the league, but more importantly gave him 57 points, two more than Henrik. Henrik's brazen insult to Daniel at the end of his Hart Trophy acceptance speech is coming back to haunt him.

• Speaking of things Henrik might regret, how about his terrible attempt at being a defenceman on the first goal of the game? Ehrhoff ended up in front of the Capitals goal and Henrik covered for him and by covered for him I mean he completely lost track of his check and drifted into the middle of the ice allowing Hendricks to go in completely alone and score. John Garrett had a helpful comment: He can't skate as fast backwards as he can going forwards. Thanks Garrett. Most people can't.

• In the absence of Aaron Rome, who left the game halfway through the first period with an MCL sprain, all the Canucks defense picked up some extra minutes, except Keith Ballard. Ballard's extra minutes apparently went to Kevin Bieksa, who played a season-high 28:35 to lead the Canucks in ice-time. The player who led the Capitals in ice-time was, unsurprisingly, Alex Ovechkin. This is not a coincidence. Bieksa clearly had the assignment of shutting down Ovechkin and did an admirable job. Ovechkin had only one decent goal-scoring chance and it came on the powerplay while Bieksa was not on the ice. This is because Ovechkin played for literally the entire powerplay (shift 18) and it would have been incredibly stupid for Bieksa to do the same.

• The rest of the defense also played well, with two goals coming from the blueline, both on fantastic slapshots. Jannik Hansen sent a perfect pass to the point for Edler's one-time bomb that tied up the game. Seriously, that pass was as flat as Saskatchewan and twice as pretty. Christian Ehrhoff's goal was similarly hard and low, like a pitch from Chad Bradford. The book on Semyon Varlamov is apparently to go for the bottom half of the net. It's not as interesting a book as "How To Fight Bears."

• Luongo was solid as Iraq as he turned aside 22 of 24 shots. His best save was his first save, stoning Nicklas Backstrom on the breakaway. He didn't need to be spectacular, but he earned the win.

• Despite each player finishing -1, the Jessie Spano line played pretty well, creating a lot of scoring chances and looked as dangerous as Croctopus (in 3D!) all game. For some odd reason, however, Raymond and Tambellini just haven't been able to finish their chances, which is a shame because Kesler has been setting them up so well recently. Favorite Kesler moment of the game, however, had to be when he pushed Ovechkin down to the ice by the back of his pants. The back of OV's jersey was tucked in, exposing the back of his pants, allowing Kesler to lodge his stick in and just push straight down. It was a cheap and hilarious play. Let's face it: Kesler is a bit of a [Washington Monument], but he's our [Hounen Matsuri sculpture].

• The third line, however, struggled once again. Raffi Torres and Mikael Samuelsson didn't get on the ice in the final 7 minutes of the game, as Alain Vigneault preferred to send out Manny Malhotra with Tanner Glass and Jannik Hansen instead (Bolduc left the game with a shoulder injury). Torres hasn't scored a goal in 8 games, Malhotra hasn't in 9 games and Samuelsson, 10 games. The Canucks will need tertiary scoring from these guys at some point.

• The Canucks were worse in the circle tonight than this poor kid. Bolduc was the best centre on the night, managing to win 2 of 4 draws for 50%. Malhotra, Sedin, and Kesler were 17%, 25% and 43% respectively. Disconcertingly, the Canucks were 4-for-21 in the defensive zone, which is normally a strength. Yikes.

• One of my favorite moments in the game came at the very end, after Daniel's empty-net goal. Tanner Glass is such a consummate team player, that even with 8 seconds left in the game and leading by two goals, Glass insists on going to the bench for a line change. See the game highlights video at the 4:00 mark for the magical moment. Classy guy.

Awesome Signage: Glass Fights Bears

Now seems like a good time to let everyone know that we love PITB-related signage here at Pass it to Bulis. Solemn vow: we will always feature it on this blog. This sign, prominently flaunted at Madison Square Garden on Thursday Night, is totally awesome. Additional points for getting the values correct on those Scrabble tiles. Poor Tanner Glass. Our favourite bear-fighting, Scrabble-playing mullet man is going to have one of the strangest reputations in the league when all is said and done.

And if that sign doesn't tickle your fancy, how about this sign?

This sign is really great for two reasons: 1) it's free advertising and 2) it is either the best inside joke ever or indicative of being completely out of touch with the Canucks' current roster. This is a good sign idea. More people should do this sign.

Both signs are awesome, and I can safely say that Steven and Shantini, the couple behind these signs, are equally awesome.

Tanner Glass Fighting Bears

Tanner Glass, doing valuable research like a good Dartmouth alum.

Last night, Tanner Glass knocked out Islander forward Matt Martin with a brutal haymaker. It was an impressive punch, and perhaps even moreso for Canuck fans, who are used to Glass holding his own in fights, but rarely winning them outright. According to HockeyFights.com, Glass has fought twenty-five times in a Canucks uniform and seven times this season. Do you remember any of them? Not really. But you'll remember last night's, and so will Matt Martin.

So where, exactly, did the Scrabble Champ develop such a mean right hook? PITB is here to tell you: fighting bears. Word is he's been doing a little bare-knuckle bear boxing on the sly. Well, the secret's out. Here's photo evidence that isn't in any way photoshopped:









Editor's note necessitated by hilariously false reports: the header image is also a photoshop. In the original image, Tanner Glass is reading George Orwell's 1984. As far as PITB knows, he has never read a book called "How To Fight Bears."