Wellwood's World, Chapter 10: Welly's Not Right, But He's Not Wrong

When we last left Kyle Wellwood, he was happy. Why wouldn't he be? Things are going swell for Welly. He's expecting his first child; his experience in Russia taught him a newfound respect for his home continent, as he no longer has to contend with dogs for the best links of sausage; he's fitting in beautifully in San Jose.

In 25 games, he's got 4 goals and 2 assists. Welly's also a +6, having only been a minus player once (two days ago). He remains an oft-kilter defensive stalwart. The Sharks are 18-4-3 since he joined the team. After Moscow, any NHL team would have sufficed, but Welly appears to have ridden the waiver wire to a mighty fine situation.

However, if Moscow has been happily banished to the past, his time in Vancouver remains a fresh memory. Interest in the Windsor native continues here, even though he now plays for one of the Canucks' stiffest rivals, and perhaps their most daunting potential postseason opponent.

That said, if he was hoping to put out some of the fires still burning for him in the Lower Mainland he certainly poured some water on them when he suggested the Canucks, season-long Stanley Cup favourites, didn't have the mettle to win it all this year. It was last week's most adorable heel turn.

Kyle Wellwood may be happy, but Canuck fans were not happy with him, when he predicted the Sharks were going to be the better team come playoff time. From Jason Botchford:

"I just feel feel Vancouver has a few more lessons to learn and I'm glad I'm in San Jose," Wellwood said. "I just feel [the Sharks] are more mature because they've lost a few more times.

"They're not so scared of losing. I think come playoff time [San Jose] is going to be better.

Instant reaction from a Canucks fanbase that's become a bit smug, a bit big for its britches, vacillated between something akin to screw 'im and instant hand-wringing, but Wellwood's thoughts deserve a longer look. He isn't wrong. He's just living in the past.

Kyle Wellwood hasn't been in this year's Canuck dressing room, so he's simply not qualified to comment. However, he was there last year, and he's rightly critical of what he saw: a roomful of tense, immature players -- a deleterious mindset. It's the mindset Mike Gillis and Alain Vigneault saw and addressed when they called their players to a cooler, more zen-like attitude. It's the mindset that weighed heavily on Roberto Luongo as captain, a weight that shifted and dissipated when Henrik Sedin took up the mantle. It's the mindset that earned Ryan Kesler a reputation as overserious, now so far in the past some are questioning, Kesler included, whether it was ever there (it was).

The reality is that the Canucks of last season were exactly what Kyle Wellwood described, and that's why they lost. They lost their composure, they lost their confidence, they lost their way, and then they just lost. But while Welly was in Russia, the Canucks changed their entire mindset. Many of the players in the room remain the same, but it's not the same room.

In short, Welly was right--in 2010. He's wrong about this year.

Kyle Wellwood on The Wellwoods

As I said, in BC, Welly retains a faithful group of fans (such as ourselves), who have been following him since he left Vancouver last summer. One such subgroup is the Vancouver Wellwoods, a women's street hockey team named in his honour and the runner-up at this year's nationals. We're big fans of the Wellwoods here at PITB, and rumour has it Welly doesn't mind them either:

“It’s nice,” Wellwood said. “To be recognized as a person they can identify with is fun. It’s funny. I’m not embarrassed by it.”

Kyle Wellwood always seems so pleasant, doesn't he? No word on whether or not this gentle response came after Welly found out about the team's motto ("training is cheating") or 3 principles ("Soft hands, sharp minds, overall adorableness").

Ryan Kesler Thinks He is Hilarious

This latest video from Canucks.com compiles a brief history of Kesler's interview adventures, which we have covered previously. It's odd, it's off-putting, and it's endearing. Quite frankly, I love it. For once, we're seeing a slightly less serious side to Kesler, though he's clearly still very serious about doing as many of these background excursions as possible. He also seems to find himself incredibly funny.

What's it all about? Does he just think he's hilarious? Is he desperate for attention? Is it a sneaky viral ad campaign for RK17? My theory is that the enforcement of maturity on-ice has led to an outburst of immaturity off-ice. He needs an outlet and, now that he can't verbally assault the opposition, he visually assaults his teammates.

Kesler has dubbed his antics as "interview bombing" and claims he invented the practice. I prefer the term Keslurking. Whatever the title, we hope he continues doing it.

I Find This Video Odd: Ryan Kesler Is Addicted to Ruining Interviews

At least he kept his shirt on this time, but I feel he's overcompensating. All we ask, Kesler, is that you wear the minimum amount of clothing required to buy Doritos at a Chevron. Luongo's mask is overdoing it.

Luongo's pretty superstitious about his masks. He briefly switched to a new one before deciding it brought bad luck and switching back to the one Kesler sports in the above video. Kes has better hope the magic remains, otherwise this stops being a hilarious running joke and becomes a motive for felony assault.

Here's my newest theory: this is all part of a brilliant plan to change the perception that Ryan Kesler is a tad overserious. It would work if it weren't for how committed Kesler is to appearing in the background of every interview. He clearly takes interview bogarting very seriously.

Ryan Kesler Is a Quiet Leader

The opening goal of Friday night's game versus the Blackhawks is scored when Christian Ehrhoff comes off the bench and immediately steps into a slapshot on the blueline. It beats Marty Turco cleanly. But here is something you might have missed:

We see, in clip above, Ryan Kesler turn back to the bench, seemingly disinterested in the goal that was just scored. He even commits the cardinal sin of leaving Ehrhoff hanging on a high five, instead coolly gesturing to the bench. Ignoring the immense sociological ramifications of being stiffed on a high five (even Gandhi couldn't handle it), what Kesler's issue here?

Well. Kesler takes his assistant captaincy very, very seriously. No time for silly high fives when there's leadership to be done.

It's important to note that this goal happens during a line change. In the IWTG, Skeeter pointed out that Cody Hodgson starts this play when he smartly puts the puck on net, low to Turco's pad, rather than dumping it in. Immediately after doing this, Hodgson initiates a line change and Ryan Kesler replaces him. But, because it's Hodgson's line that scores, Kesler foregoes celebrating the goal to ensure that Hodgson's role in it is acknowledged and the young centre doesn't miss the on-ice goal celebration. He immediately turns back to the bench and tells Hodgson to join his linemates.

It's a small thing, but it shows the selflessness and egality of the Canucks' core guys. It's an admirable moment of quiet leadership that undoubtedly meant a lot to young Hodgson.

Christian Ehrhoff, meanwhile, is still trying to to overcome the commensurate damage to his fragile psyche. Consider his turn as flail snail later in the same game: broken, he desperately tried to high-five Viktor Stalberg's face. Ironically, he may be on the precipice of the same dark times that Cody Hodgson has recently overcome. If you see him, give him a high five. He's one short.

Hat tip to Canucks.com forum member Hodgson99 for catching this one.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Coyotes, February 2, 2011

Canucks 6 - 0 Coyotes

As a Canucks fan, it is thoroughly disorienting to cheer for the best team in the league. Cheering for the Canucks and cheering for the #1 team in the NHL is like serving both God and Mammon. It creates a kind of cognitive dissonance. Take tonight for example: the Western Conference is extremely tight. A mere 5 points separate 4th place Nashville from 12th place Calgary. In this atmosphere, a 6-0 shellacking of a team in playoff contention would be greeted by giddiness and glorifying of various hockey gods for bestowing such good fortune upon the Canucks. Instead, the Canucks are so far ahead of the pack (a whopping 7 points up on 2nd place Detroit), that this solid victory is treated with placidity and calm: the Canucks won. I was entertained. I am pleased. I watched this game.

• Given the plethora of goals scored by the Canucks tonight, it seems fitting to, perhaps, mention them one by one so that we may revel in them. But first I shall point out an astonishing fact: the Canucks scored 6 goals tonight. Henrik Sedin had zero points. Daniel Sedin had 1 assist and now has 5 points more than his brother. Also an astonishing fact: the regal horned lizard shoots blood out of its eyes to defend itself from, incidentally, coyotes. Is this the blood that Daniel Sedin is out for?

• Alex Burrows scored the opening goal of the game, giving him a 4-game goal-scoring streak. Just like his goal last game against the Stars, this adequately demonstrated the Fourth Law of Sedinery: if the opposing team has a chance to clear the puck out of the defensive zone and instead gives the puck away to the Sedins, a Canuck goal is a foregone conclusion. It's a classic Burrows maneuver: head to the front of the net, get as close as humanly possible to the goalie, and look for the tip. The distance between his buttocks and Byzgalov's chest was approximately the width of a hadron.

• The second goal was scored by Jannik Hansen off a Lee Sweatt-created rebound. Sweatt looked significantly more comfortable on the ice tonight, getting good body position in puck battles and blocking 4 shots. His jump up into the rush on Hansen's goal was a well-timed piece of offensive defensivity. Of note, Hansen came directly off the bench to score the goal, with none of his linemates having yet made the change. Thus, Malhotra and Torres were the only Canucks to finish without a plus in their +/- column and both were largely invisible tonight.

• Incidentally, the sports bar Harrison and I went to tonight gave us hockey pucks with the numbers of Canucks on them. If they scored a goal, free booze. I got lucky number 36, so Jannik Hansen scored me a beer. If I ever get the chance, I'll have to buy him one. I'd start a hashtag, but #LetMeBuyYouABeerHansen just doesn't roll off the tongue. It's also vaguely creepifying.

• Cody Hodgson looked NHL-ready tonight. Yes, he scored his first NHL goal (seen above) with a nifty combination of puck strength, patience, and precision, but he also showed poise in the defensive zone, aggressiveness on the forecheck, and occasional surprising bursts of speed. Combine that with a respectable 4-for-7 night on faceoffs and one might be inclined to keep him on the roster for a few more games. Hopefully that one is Mike Gillis. He's actually the one who decides that.

• Seriously, though. What a fantastic goal. Ryan Kesler's first of his two goals, however, was even prettier. He dragged it around Adrian Aucoin like he wasn't even there. I was surprised Aucoin was. Quite frankly, I was surprised to be reminded he existed. Adrian Aucoin is still playing in the NHL? Wasn't he on a defensive pairing with Colin Campbell? How old is this guy?

• Mason Raymond played well and scored the fifth goal of the game on the kind of simple play he needs to make more often: he uses his speed to force all-star Keith Yandle into a rash decision then heads straight for the net, turning and getting in the perfect position to chip in the Samuelsson pass. After breaking out of a 9-game scoring slump with 2 points on January 24th, he cut short a new scoring slump by scoring another 2 points only 3 games later. Raymond, along with Kesler and Hamhuis, finished a game-high +4. That's more pluses than Pepsi Lime (only +3 to Will? Lame).

• And to cap things off, Kesler upped his goal total for the year to 30, marking the first 30-goal season of his career. This time he did all the work himself, picking a pocket, drawing a penalty, and sniping a corner. He seemed angry rather than celebratory after both his goals tonight and this post-game quote may shed some light: "I was kinda pissed about a couple things on the ice...I don't want to get fined so I don't want to say anything." It's a tribute to Kesler's growing maturity that he turned this anger into beautiful goals rather than post-whistle scrums.

• Luongo seemed incredibly pumped to see his shutout survive a last-minute powerplay for the Coyotes. Meanwhile, Tanner Glass was likely sweating in the penalty box desperately hoping that Luongo wouldn't have him kneecapped if Phoenix scored. I'm guessing he was almost as nervous as he is about his upcoming scrabble battle. How do you spell relief? Seriously, make sure you know. I before E. Harrison loves to challenge.

• I like Chris Tanev. Let's keep him.

• It may have just been the lackluster quality of the televisions at the sports bar, but the coyote at center ice seemed quite jaundiced. He should see a veterinarian about that.

• The Green Men revealed in our interview with the duo back in December that they would be taking their act on the road. Sure enough, they showed up right next to the penalty box in Phoenix; unfortunately, there were only 3 penalties and only one of them against the Coyotes. It didn't give them much of an opportunity to put on a show.

• And finally, the fans who showed up in Canucks jerseys with the sign saying "We're actually Coyotes fans. We just dressed this way to fit in" are my new favorite people.

Ryan Kesler Uncovers Shocking All-Star Game Bribery Conspiracy Among League Officials

Even in an all-star game, Ryan Kesler takes his assistant captaincy seriously enough to question a call. Here's Kes, mic'd up for Versus, asking referee Kevin Pollock about his decision to blow the whistle. The ref's response? "Twenty bucks for the first guy that blew an offside." Funny stuff.

Hat tip to Sean Leahy at Puck Daddy for uncovering the clip.

Ryan Kesler Would Literally Play on Crutches

Every so often, we hear reports of a Ryan Kesler injury. It doesn't matter what it is--a sore hand, a sore foot, a broken bone in either--regardless of the injury's placement or severity, each article of this sort inevitably contains the sentence "Kesler will play."

The latest of these articles comes from the Province's Ben Kuzma, who reports on a sore thumb that caused Kesler to miss today's practice for what Alain Vigneault routinely and hilariously calls "maintenance." I take maintenance to mean "gruesome injury recovery" and my guess is Vigneault's players do as well. Here's Vigneault on the injury:

"He hurt his thumb a bit and it's just a little bit sore. Faceoffs in the neutral zone, he was letting Jeff Tambellini take them [Saturday], but in our zone he was taking them. So he should be fine."

We observed, in the Saturday's IWTG, that Kesler took less faceoffs than usual. Turns out he was playing through an injury. Should have known.

But see, Kesler might be too hurt to take a few faceoffs. Whatever. He's never too hurt to play. For Kesler, there's hardly any such condition. There are few situations in which he would allow himself to miss a game, and all would require at least 2 of the following 3 obstacles: 1) The tearful begging of loved ones 2) Legal writ 3) the teeth of a rusty bear trap.

Kesler doesn't miss games. Recall seven days ago when it was reported Kesler was limping badly after a shot to the ankle and might miss the following day's game against the Sharks. Fat chance of that. Kesler played over twenty-two minutes, pushing his consecutive games played streak to 202. It's now at 205.

Recall, after Sami Salo's testicle was nearly exploded by a puck, Kesler's amusing observation that he couldn't imagine a worse injury to play through.

We at PITB have observed in the past that Ryan Kesler takes hockey very, very seriously. Hilariously seriously. Kyle Wellwood once remarked that he couldn't imagine taking hockey that seriously (although I'm sure Kesler would say the exact opposite of Wellwood).

But seriously, how seriously? So seriously he'd lop off a finger to play a playoff game. Let's go back three years. Brad Zeimer:

It is helpful to consider the three words Kesler uttered to the team's training staff when he realized a shattered left index finger was going to end his comeback at a single game.

"Cut it off," an emotional Kesler told them.

Thankfully, they did not listen.

Granted, Kesler was only a foolish 23 at the time, but when I was twenty-three, I believed very strongly in keeping my fingers. Not Kesler, and he was dead serious about losing the digit. "I really wanted to play," he said later, defending his utter insanity. "To look back, it was a pretty stupid thing to say."

Yes, it was. But Ryan Kesler is crazy. While Jim Robson once hyperbolized that Trevor Linden would play on crutches, Ryan Kesler actually would. Or, if one of his legs was broken, he'd advise the doctors to take the other one and install a wheel. Kesler would turn himself into Rosie, the Jetsons' maid, to play. Kesler would cut his arm off with a hacksaw and cauterize the wound on a hot stove to play (in which case, so much for the bear trap joke).

Again, Ryan Kesler is crazy.