I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Wild, April 7, 2011

Canucks 5 - 0 Wild

After consecutive losses to the Edmonton Oilers pushed the city of Vancouver to the brink of martial law, you had to think a loss to the Minnesota Wild would be the tipping point. Fans, it seemed, were one poor effort away from killing one another for the contents of their refrigerators. Thankfully, the Canucks staved off a full-scale societal collapse by coming out in this one a little more interested in winning, and they were fortunate to meet a Wild team only to happy to help. The result was a shellacking that will likely quell civil unrest until the team loses again, at which point all the ammo and applesauce I bought will prove quite useful. In the meantime, I watched this game:

• The pregame awards ceremony went pretty much as expected, with Daniel Sedin taking home the MVP, Christian Ehrhoff retaining his best defenseman title, Ryan Kesler winning most exciting player, and Jannik Hansen being named the most unsung. The Presidents Trophy presentation was understated, except for that part where Manny Malhotra showed up, and people went nuts. Talk about crowd pop. It was great to see him. In case you were wondering, Henrik Sedin did not touch the President's Trophy, but I get that whole superstition now. Once you realize that it looks like a crystal bidet, I'm sure any motivation to touch it disappears.

• I especially liked Malhotra's Versace protection sunglasses. It was either that, or a diamond-studded eyepatch.
  

• Marc Donnelly is starting to mix things up. The other night he turned the anthem into a duet. Tonight, he did a different run. If he's trying to reinvent himself, he should call Timbaland.

• After facing criticism for a mild scoring lull to close out the season, Ryan Kesler used tonight as an opportunity to answer back with a hat trick. First, he redeemed himself for his near-infamous powerplay whiff in last Oilers game, where he double-clutched on a tap-in at the goal line and wound up blocking his own shot. He and the Sedins tried the exact same play again, this time with a different result. After successfully making amends on that one, Kesler spent the night bringing his wrist shot back to lethality. He scored two beauties on the rush with perfectly placed snapshots, going high glove side on the first and high stick side on the second (above). Kesler claims he was extra motivated because Farhan Lalji pissed him off earlier in the day. If that's the case, I suggest Farhan Lalji conduct all Ryan Kesler interviews for the duration of the playoffs, with every intent of incensing him: some feel you can't carry this team to a cup. Also, that you're a big dummy. How would you respond to this?

• Frankly, if there was any disappointing aspect to tonight's game, it's that Kesler's hat trick was met with alarmingly few tossed hats. Shocking stat: in terms of personal items thrown on the ice, the ratio of hats to salmon was about even. Not cool, you guys.
  

• Kesler's hat trick goal was his 40th of the season. Quoth John Garrett: 40 is an excellent number. I'm assuming he meant in regards to scoring totals, but he might just like the number 40. Maybe he likes how it looks? He's seen it everywhere this anniversary season, maybe this was a subtle plea for help from a man that's been driven mad by the number's constant presence in his life? He could be completely obsessed with it, like Jim Carrey and 23.

• Early adopters to PITB will recall that, before he and I became Scrabble buddies, Tanner Glass's presence on the third line offended me, especially throughout last year's playoffs. It seems the universe has a wicked sense of humour, as Glass appears to be have garnered a promotion in the absence of Raffi Torres. Soon, my worst nightmares will come true. Next thing you know, Byron Ritche will return to man the powerplay.

• Poor Jannik Hansen. First he lost his center to an eye injury, then he lost his other winger to a suspension. He did an admirable job on his lonesome, even setting up Mason Raymond for the game's opening goal with a beautiful cross-ice pass, but his gloved punch to Pierre Marc-Bouchard was a clear sign that he wants to be suspended too, so the line can be reunited in the press box.

• Speaking of suspensions, frankly, Greg Zanon's 1st period elbow to the head of Maxim Lapierre might have warranted one that stretched into the playoffs. Lucky for Zanon, the Wild didn't make the playoffs.

• Both of Mason Raymond's goals came on wrist shots after fancy setups, the first from Jannik Hansen, and the second from Daniel Sedin, but they weren't tap-ins. Raymond put himself in great position to receive both passes, and these are places he might not go while playing the wing. He was also the only faceoff guy to finish over 50% on the night. He appears to be adapting to his new role as third-line center quite well. It makes sense. There's a little less pressure to score, it's harder to get over to the side boards and circle the zone, and there's a little more ice. Mason Raymond really likes extra ice. Whenever he goes to Earl's, he asks the waitress to make sure there's plenty in his drink; otherwise, his soda is much too strong.

• With both Mason Raymond and Ryan Kesler flirting with a hat trick, and everyone trying to make sure Daniel Sedin gets the last touch, I started the appropriate hashtag: #passittoraymondorkeslerbutfirstpassittodanielsohecangetapoint. I had low expectations for it. Then it trended in Vancouver. I'm not sure what to think about this.
  

• Alain Vigneault rolled all four lines, resulting in steady icetime for everyone, save Jeff Tambellini. Tambellini played eight and a half minutes. No other Canuck played less than fourteen. When you can't find icetime for Jeff Tambellini in a blowout in the last home game of the season, it's safe to say you aren't trying. Victor Oreskovich might want to reserve an airport shuttle.

• Last night marked the return of Alex Edler to the lineup. He looked good, albeit a little out of sync. He also seemed determined to regain some lost ground in the hits category. He had a game-high four hits in this game, which, as Jeff Paterson tweeted, should answer some questions going forward. Questions like: who led the game in hits and In what category did Alex Edler lead the game? Also: which game did Alex Edler lead in hits?

• Edler was immediately returned to his initial pairing with Christian Ehrhoff, sending Sami Salo to the bottom pairing with Keith Ballard. This is the match the Canucks have been hoping to make all season, but injuries have prevented Sami and Keith from being together long enough to click. Looks like they finally get together in the end. If this sounds a lot like a romantic comedy, that's because it is. After the game, Sami found out he was the subject of a bet to make him over and get him elected prom queen. Expect a last act poolside dance.

• Speaking of bets, Roberto Luongo picked up his fourth shutout of the season last night, much to his surprise, and he told reporters that, prior to the third period, he and Cory Schneider bet on who would break the goose egg. Schneider picked Miettinen. Luongo picked Edler. Chew on this: what if Edler actually had scored an own goal, but Miettinen had the last touch? SUCH A DISPUTE IS UNSOLVABLE.
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Bruins, February 26, 2011

Canucks 1 - 3 Bruins

Last night's tough loss to the Boston Bruins keeps the Canucks mired in their pattern of alternating wins and losses, a pattern that's now persisted for 10 games. That said, you have to think last night's loss was different--that is was the toughest of the most recent five. Tied at one going into the third period, and poised to do what they do best, which is take over in the third period, the Canucks were instead shocked by a Bruins team that collapsed back in a tie game to block shots and clog up passing lanes. Then, they capitalized on a missed call and a missed defensive assignment to score the game-winner, and wound up skating away from the final frame with two goals on four shots. It had to be sort of infuriating--sort of really infuriating--and I should know, because I felt a similar fury as I watched this game:

• The Boston Bruins continued the trend of Eastern Conference teams getting past the Canucks by blocking every possible shot. Boston blocked 23 shots (Johnny Boychuk and Adam McQuaid having 10 between them). The Canadiens and the Rangers utilized this same game plan to success, and it would appear that teams have a book on the Canucks. Before you start to panic, however, realize that it's no foolproof plan and it can only be exacted if you're not trailing. Had the Canucks been able to hold a lead against these three clubs, things would have opened up. That said, we are beginning to see how teams adjust and meticulously prepare for the best team in the NHL. The Canucks rely on a lot of down-low passing, so if you collapse around the net, you can cover them and get in passing lanes while remaining in position to block point shots. Unsurprisingly, ten of Vancouver's blocked attempts came off the sticks of their top four defensemen.

• One way to combat a goal crease collapse is to send a big forward into the opponents' defensive box to wreak havoc. However, among the top six forwards, only Ryan Kesler has the size for this, especially when Zdeno Chara can so ably move a smaller body elsewhere. Worse, as the center, Kesler is supposed to be the first forward back, so he really can't afford to get caught down low (at even strength, anyway). Tanner Glass's promotion to the second line was Vigneault's attempt to combat the net presence deficiency in his top six.

• It was also an attempt to get through to Mason Raymond, for whom the problems continue to compound. He's typically a reliable defensive player, even during scoring slumps, but even that aspect of his game is beginning to drift away. In the last few games, we've seen plays die on his stick, then come back the other way without him, and end up in the net. Raymond again played a subpar offensive game last night, but he earned a third period demotion to the fourth line with some brutal defensive coverage on Nathan Horton's second period goal. Not only does he let Horton get position in front, Raymond takes his stick out of the play and winds up left with no other recourse but a series of ineffective nudges. If his stick's on the ice, maybe he jams Horton up or knocks the puck away. Instead, one of the spindliest Canucks tosses his stick over his back like a hobo's bindle and tries to outmuscle a power forward. Unwise. Raymond may not have earned himself a trade out of town last night but, at the very least, he's earned himself a couple restless nights before the deadline.

• In the past, PITB had an oft-used No Third Line For Glass hashtag, which we used whenever Tanner Glass got top nine icetime. We've since semi-retired this hashtag (because we love Tanner Glass now), although AV appears to have finally listened, as he bypassed the third line entirely and bumped Tanner to the second. Okay, in truth, this had more to do with keeping the third line intact. They've combined for 7 goals in the last 7 games, including this game's lone Canuck tally. That one came off the stick of Manny "Alternate Captain Mal" Malhotra, who becomes the first Canuck to beat Tim Thomas. Thomas can take solace, however, in knowing that no caucasian Canuck has ever beaten him. Try to remember that, Canucks. Next time the Bruins come to town, we should dress Darren Archibald to take advantage of Thomas's susceptibility to shots by ethnic minorities.

• Brad Marchand's got a real Inspector Gadget look to him, doesn't he? With the long face and nose, I half-expected him to skate on a line with Penny and Brain. He's a bit of a bumbler, too. Twice last night he activated Go-Go-Gadget-Take-Stupid-Penalty.

• Rough night for Sami Salo, who was on the ice for all three Boston goals. Silver lining: that means he stayed healthy for the whole game. Offensively, I enjoyed his eagerness to blast the puck whenever possible. It's nice to have that weapon back. Salo had a game-high 5 shots, and although two were blocked, none missed the net. Can you believe this guy's one half of our bottom pairing?

• People will claim that the Canucks were outmuscled, but that's not actually true. The Canucks outhit Boston 32 to 22, led by 4 hits by Jannik Hansen, 6 by Tanner Glass, and a whopping seven by Raffi Torres, including this fabulous one on Tomas Kaberle, which might have been Raffi's best hit of the season. Human bowling ball indeed.

• Milan Lucic was the star of the evening, scoring the game-winner and notching a helper on Boston's other two goals. That said, can we please put the shoulda drafted Lucic talk to rest? It would have been nice to have a Vancouver-born player in a Canucks uniform, but this isn't another Cam Neely fiasco. He was never going to be a Canuck. He was drafted 50th overall, and scouts at the time thought even that was early. Even if the Canucks hadn't traded away their second-rounder, they likely wouldn't have used it on him. It seems foolish now, but I'm a little sick of people forgetting how hindsight works.

• Ryan Kesler's in a bit of a scoring slump, and I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. Who else do you have to worry about when he's on the ice?

• Speaking of Kesler, he took 25 faceoffs last night. The rest of the team, combined, took 29. It was like he and Vigneault were playing a game of Uno, and Vigneault was out to get him. Draw four, Kes. Ha ha, draw four again.

• I liked Alex Burrows' battle with Milan Lucic. During one faceoff in particular, Lucic simply encroached on Burr's space and made himself unmovable, but what Burr lacks in brute strength, he makes up for in obnoxiousness, so he just chopped Lucic's stick out of his hands and skated away. Good on you, Burr, you greasy little snot.

• The Canucks' power play looked disorganized and tentative, and it may have cost the the game. Tentative is good for road trip itineraries; it's bad for special teams.

• And finally, Cody Hodgson had a strong game, likely motivated by this being the last of his three-game tryout (of sorts), but he needs to get his shot off a little quicker. His patience is impressive, sure, but more impressive if when one's shot reaches the goaltender. Cody had 1 shot on goal, but he had three more blocked because he held onto it too long. I have a feeling the knock on Hodgson will always be a lack of urgency, but unlike the Sedins, he doesn't have an Art Ross trophy to fall back on when people claim he's not quick enough to fire. He should spend a weekend with Donald Trump.

More Canuck Poetry

I don't really have much in the way of excuses for these. I wrote some limericks and haiku for the Canucks. I was sort of inspired by the recent Luongo-Duthie collaboration, but really, some of these have been in the works for a while. The Canucks are a team that inspires poetry. Here's some for everyone.




Of NHL goalies you meet
Tommy says Bobby Lu's most complete.
It's because Luongo
Rhymes with Bingo-Bongo
It's a name that Brodeur just can't beat.

When Canucks get hit,
Recite haiku and drop gloves.
Poetic justice.

My dogs, though it may seem absurd
Are like the Canucks, I have heard.
Like my dogs in the yard
The Canucks battle hard
In their long struggle to #WinDaTurd

Just for Tanner Glass
I wrote this heartfelt haiku.


A much-maligned D-man of late
Plays top minutes and still performs great.
Still, few will defend
This beast of the back end
To trade him, Canucks fans can't wait.

If Gillis is God
How can Luongo be God?
This does not compute.

They left the team against their will
The new players are better, but still
We loved Kyle and Jan
And now that they're gone
There's a hole only Torres can fill.

We're winning a lot.
Too much, in fact... I've got it:
Let's trade Bieksa

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Sharks, November 27, 2010

Canucks 6 - 1 Sharks

Often times, we react to a Canucks game as though Vancouver was the only team on the ice. By this, I mean that, for Canucks fans, the final score of the game only reflects how the Canucks played. If they win, it's because they played well. If they lose, it's because they played poorly. We tend to ignore factors like, for instance, the play of the other team. I bring this up because while the Canucks played well enough to win last night, it was the piss-poor effort of the San Jose Sharks that turned this one into an exercise in heinousness.

Yes, last night's game was heinous, but since the Canucks won it, I can't complain. It was a beautiful atrocity, like when you hit the seagull that stole your sandwich with a rock, mid-flight, and you see both plummet into the ocean. The part of me that appreciates fine things (hockey, sandwiches) groans a little, but the part of me that enjoys seeing the enemy drown in a sea of fail cackles with glee. Oh my, yes, I watched this beautiful atrocity:

• Let's talk about good coaching. In the third period, Alain Vigneault switched up his lines. He wasn't line-juggling for fun, or just to get something started; he was shrewdly reacting to the desperation of the opposing coach. When Todd McLellan starting whole-hogging it and put Thornton, Marleau, and Heatley together, Vigneault reacted by creating a checking line of Samuelsson, Malhotra, and Glass. It was a smart move. The Canucks' new trio scored the next two goals and negated any offensive pushback from the Sharks. The insurance goal (above) came after a blocked shot by Tanner Glass and some brilliant individual work by Mikael Samuelsson.
  
  
• That said, how many times do I have to say Tanner Glass should not be on the frakkin' third line? Seriously, do I have to write a song about it? Do I have to write a sonnet in perfect iambic pentameter (apart from occasional "feminine endings") with an ABBA structure right up to the concluding couplet? Because that's what I'll do.
  
  

Tanner Glass should not be on the third line,
For his offensive skills, at best, do want,
And thus, it leaves Vancouver's forwards gaunt
Of scoring punch among their topmost nine.
That Tanner Glass has value, yes, is true,
At checking, and supplying grittiness.
The fourth line profits from his hittiness,
But third-line shifts are shifty through and through.
Defensively, he's sound, and that's a plus,
But both teams will find scoring threats abated.
His fourth-lineness is greatly underrated,
So why, Vigneault, wouldst thou promote him thus?
A third-line shift doth crown a list of wrongs.
Let's keep him on the fourth, where he belongs.

• Here's hoping that was Samuelsson's breakout game. Two goals, and both of them a candidate for what we like to call Sam's Surprises. It's incredible what a multi-goal game can do for a guy, especially just in terms of projected stats. Samuelsson is now on pace for 22 goals. It's less goals than last year, but he's also on pace for 59 points, which would be a new career-high. Bet you didn't know that. Samuelsson's first goal was absolutely brilliant, as he totally bamboozled Niclas Wallin with the shot fake, and timed it perfectly so that Wallin stepped aside right when Niemi was being screened. That was a highly intelligent play from a highly intelligent player.
  
  
• And before we move on, poor Dan Boyle. I'm not sure what happened there, but here's my theory: Seven years ago, Boyle entreated Satan for his excellent hockey skills, and the dark lord sent Samuelsson, one of his secret minions (which is why he looks kinda goatlike), to grant the wish. Samuelsson arrived in a plume of wickedness and fulfilled the request. "But one day," he said, fiendishly, "I will call on you for a favour, and you must perform it, no matter the cost." Then in a wisp of devilfire, he returned to the lap of the damned. Anyway, he totally just wasted that favour.
  
  
• I thought Alex Burrows was excellent, even before he scored. He's been one of the Canucks best forwards the last two games, and it he appears to be rounding back into form. Also rounding into form? A potter's wheel.
  
  
• How terrified are opposing teams of Henrik Sedin when he's camped behind the net? Watch the Burrows goal and check out how much time Henrik has back there. Furthermore, check out how oblivious they are to Burrows smartly sliding into a scoring area. Everybody in the world knows Henrik is looking for him (I was watching Burrows from the moment Henrik got turned around). But the Sharks are so concerned with what he's going to do that they forget to take anybody else.
  
  
• A word about Keith Ballard. He was solid, playing 17:52, scoring a goal (bit of a fluke, that), and leading the team with 4 hits. He played on a pairing with Dan Hamhuis that I quite liked, and finished the night a plus-2. Here's hoping he's beginning to turn a corner and getting comfortable here. Leave the discomfort for people that buy mattresses on Craigslist.
  
  
• Many people attributed the lopsided victory to the absence of Kevin Bieksa. I hate to be the voice of reason (not true, I love it), but Bieksa was the best defender in the last game. The Canucks may have won without him, but they didn't win because they were without him. Give your head a shake, person who thought otherwise.
  
  
• Dan Hamhuis should have been a waiter, because boy oh boy can he deliver a check. I'm especially impressed with the heavy shrug he gave to ensure Douglas Murray got maximum airtime.
  
  
• While we're talking about checks, it should be pointed out that we saw the Canucks' new defensive additions pay off in spades last night. Typically, San Jose pushes the smaller Canucks around. This game was a different story. Hamhuis destroyed Douglas Murray, Alberts crushed Logan Couture, and Keith Ballard led the hit parade with a game-high 4. The stat counters claim both teams delivered 20 hits. To that I say, bah. The Canucks won the physical game handily, largely on the strength of the newfound hittiness of their top-six, as well as the total slumber party from a typically strong San Jose team.
  
  
• I owe Jannik Hansen an apology. Last IWTG, I said his hands were like the hands of the Swedish Chef, a classic Muppet show character, but on the pretty pass that led to this goal, they were more like Rowlf's.
  
  
• The Canucks have talked about being able to roll all four line. How's this? No Canuck played under ten minutes last night.
  
  
• And finally, let's talk, as we often do, about faceoffs. In a battle of the two best faceoff teams in the league, the Canucks won 57% of the draws, led by a 10-for-14 showing by Henrik Sedin. This is awesome, in that Henrik is the third-best of the Canucks three faceoff guys. When he's going, the team is going to win in the circle. Henrik won all 5 of his draws in the offensive zone, too. That'll help. Manny Malhotra had a rare sub-50% night, winning only 9 of 20 draws. Of note: the Sharks were without their best faceoff guy in Scott Nichol, and you can bet he would have helped.
  

Do the Canucks Finally Have a Third Line?

Last night's three goal game for Raffi Torres was just the latest in a long line of bright spots for the Canucks' third line, a unit that, for four games, has been made up consistently of Jannik Hansen, Manny Malhotra, and Raffi Torres. In the first game of the Canucks' current four-game winning streak, Malhotra was the first star, netting the Canucks' third and fourth goals midway through the third period to put the game out of reach. Two games later, it was Raffi Torres opening the scoring with a goal that would wind up being the game-winner. Last night, the line topped two excellent games with a bigger trick, the first hat trick of Raffi Torres' career. Yes, the third line has been very, very good.

It's a welcome change from last season's third line, a unit that typically consisted of Kyle Wellwood, Steve Bernier, and Tanner Glass. While Wellwood had his moments (and we loved him for them), Bernier and Glass spent their time on the third line playing unmistakably like fourth liners. The unit's shifts were unproductive and forgettable. If not for top ten line play from the Canucks' first and second lines, it might have been even more glaring an issue than it was.

It was impossible to overlook in the playoffs. The Chicago Blackhawks showed us that depth across lines is vital for postseason success when they beat us in six games. Our lack of such depth was a major problem going into the offseason.

This problem appears to have been somewhat solved. Over the last four games, the third line has combined for 13 points. For comparative purposes, the Canucks' top line (The Sedins, and, until last night's game, Jeff Tambellini) has generated 9. The third line has been our highest scoring line during this win streak, a sentence that could never have been uttered last season.

But it's more than just offensive contributions; they're also defensively stellar. Over that same four-game stretch, the line is a combined plus-16. The Sedin line is minus-1.

Even separately, Hansen, Malhotra, and Torres have been major contributors at both ends of the ice. Until last night, Jannik Hansen hadn't been on the ice for a single goal against. He leads the team in plus-minus and hits among forwards. Manny Malhotra has been the Canucks' go-to faceoff man, taking draws in all three zones and being a lynchpin on the penalty kill. And Raffi Torres is second only to Daniel Sedin in goals.

The play of the third line is the primary reason the Canucks have won four straight. The Sedin line has been great, but not yet at the level at which they operate with a healthy Alex Burrows. The Raymond-Kesler-Samuelsson line is still struggling to regain last season's form, as Mikael Samuelsson especially is looking a little slower, his shot a little less accurate. Considering that last year's success rested primarily on the play of these top two lines, one would think diminished play from either would make four wins in a row nearly impossible. However, Malhotra, Hansen and Torres are outproducing these issues.

Big Numbers: Interesting Stats, Eight Games In

Below you will find a compendium of interesting stats. Take from them what you will. Or, if you're feeling particularly sluggish this morning, take from them what I have taken from them. Yes, feel free to plagiarize my thoughts, like the government does through the microchip they've implanted in my utricle. I long ago lost the will to fight it.

1. Through the first eight games, Henrik Sedin and Ryan Kesler are six seconds apart in total time on ice at 159:20 in 196 shifts and 159:14 in 197, respectively. The difference between their TOI per game is one second. In short, their time on ice has been basically identical through eight games. Interestingly, it's not even close to the same type of ice time. Henrik has nearly twenty total minutes more time at even-strength, and Kesler spends far more time on special teams time on both sides of the man advantage. He's got seventeen more minutes of PK time, and two more minutes of power play time. Huh?
   
   
2. Kesler really shouldn't have more total power play time. He not only leads the team in missed shots with 17--he's first among forwards and second overall in the NHL. Who's in front of him? Duncan Keith. That's a double-edged sword for the Blackhawks. Keith's missed shots numbers are going to be inflated because he's a defenseman and he plays so many minutes a game. But he's only got three assists for a guy who plays nearly half of every Blackhawks game. Both Kesler and Keith are offensive catalysts for their team, hence the frequency with which they shoot. This stat is a large part of the slow start in both Vancouver and Chicago. Both of these guys needs to start hitting the net. Note: Keith also leads the league in giveaways. Don't get me wrong--he's still an incredible player, but he's not playing as well as they're saying. He's just playing a lot.
   
   
3. Before we move on, you should also know the Canucks are 2nd in the NHL in the team missed shots category, behind only Pittsburgh. Not too surprising, as Alain Vigneault once said that Pittsburgh plays the exact same style as the Canucks. There are, as a result, other statistical similarities, like the one below:
   
   
4. Vancouver is second in the league in total hits with 216, behind only Pittsburgh's 240. And not that it's paying off, but the Canucks lead the NHL in hits on the road, with 120. They are 10th in hitting at home. Strangely, Pittsburgh has the inversion of this stat, leading the league in hits at home and sitting 11th on the road. Here's the weird part: Pittsburgh is below .500 at home and 3-0-1 on the road; The Canucks are winless on the road and 3-0-1 at home. Why do these teams win less when they hit more? I couldn't say for certain. My guess is that, while they're already very hitty teams, they hit more when trying to come from behind.
   
   
5. The Canucks are 2nd in the NHL in total faceoff percentage, at 56.6%. All three of the Canucks top faceoff men are over 50% at the dot, with Manny Malhotra leading the league at an ungodly 66.9% over 139 faceoffs. That is a very large sample size at which to win two-thirds of your draws. Ryan Kesler is 14th in the NHL at an impressive 57.6%, and Henrik Sedin is 40th with 51.6%. How's about that fourth line? Well, interestingly enough, only the three guys mentioned above have even taken enough faceoffs to merit statistical consideration. 11 other guys have taken draws, and only Peter Schaefer has taken more than ten. Of note: Rick Rypien has nine; he's won six of them.
   
   
6. Considering Malhotra and Kesler are defensive centers with excellent faceoff percentages, it's probably no surprise they lead the team in shorthanded time on ice among forwards. Who is the highest clocking winger? Peter Schaefer, to nobody's surprise. He has been an excellent defensive player. Following him, it's Jannik Hansen.
   
   
7. Do you hear that? It's the sound of nobody missing Shane O'Brien. Andrew Alberts, who won his job in the preseason, shares the team lead for hits with Jannik Hansen at 23 apiece. Alberts is also second in blocked shots, with 13. Who leads the team? Alex Edler, with 15. Interestingly, Ryan Kesler also has 13, and the next best shot-blocking forward only has 5. It's Peter Schaefer. Keith Ballard had 8 blocked shots in two games before he was knocked out with the concussion. He would likely be leading the team right now.
   
   
8. Speaking of Jannik Hansen, let us say something about his 23 hits. While he might not hit as hard as Alberts, he's hitting with frequency and efficiency. Hansen has the ability and multi-dimensionality to be this team's Kris Versteeg--a gritty guy with enough skill to occasionally surprise. Last game was a nice start, but he needs to do that more often. Here's hoping the chemistry he appears to have with Malhotra is for real.
   
   
9. Kevin Bieksa leads the team in giveaways, as he has since the first game of the season. He has nine now, widening the gap since the last time I brought this up. Bieksa just might run away with this dubious category. Christian Ehrhoff is second on the team with six, but I don't remember each one of his nearly as vividly. You probably know exactly how I feel about Kevin Bieksa, so I'll just move on.
   
   
10. Mason Raymond leads the team in takeaways with 8. He doesn't get nearly enough talk about his defensive play. The Sedins are up there as well, with 7 apiece. They don't just hold onto the puck spectacularly; they regularly take the puck.
    
    
11. Canuck forwards without a goal are Tanner Glass, Guillaume Desbiens, Peter Schaefer, Jannik Hansen, Rick Rypien... and Henrik Sedin. It doesn't mean anything, especially considering he plays on the one of the most productive lines in hockey and he leads the league in assists, but the less time he spends on a line--even a stat line--with Tanner Glass the better.
    
    
12. And finally, penalty minutes. Here's an interesting stat: through eight games, there isn't a single Canuck with more than one major penalty. Torres, Rypien, Alberts, and Desbiens have all fought one time and only one time. In total penalty minutes, Raffi Torres leads the team, but don't start ripping on him just yet. There are four guys with more minor penalties: Jannik Hansen, Mikael Samuelsson, Andrew Alberts, and Kevin Bieksa all have four. Do you know who shouldn't have four? Mikael Samuelsson. His temper doesn't get a lot of play, but it should. Ask Sweden: he can muster a boatloads of antipathy in a very short time. Most of his penalties are acts of aggression directed towards somebody who has pissed him off. He's a heady veteran who should know better than to take so many retaliatory penalties.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Wild, October 22, 2010

Canucks 5 - 1 Wild

After tonight's game, it might be hard to differentiate between the west coast sea breeze and the relieved sighs of Canuck nation. While a win tonight doesn't solve our problems, it certainly mitigates our concern. The Wild, like us, had played 3 games in their last four nights, but they were on the road tonight, and gosh darn it, we're better than they are. Had we lost tonight, especially considering what's gone on this week and how badly we craved a win, there might have been enough hand-wringing for a spike in sales of Glysomed. Thankfully, we won. Also thankfully, Pass it to Bulis watched. Hear us roar:

• Corey Schneider continues to play fabulously, propagating the largely shortsighted and reactionist "goaltending controversy." Not since Cheryl Blossom has a redhead so relentlessly challenged the status quo. Before we start demanding the team waive Luongo, let us remember that the Canucks have played much, much better in front of him than they have in Luongo's losses. The whole team was excellent tonight. Still, Schneider deserves much kudos, as he made it look easy tonight. Maybe it was. Minnesota sucks.

• Jeff "Shmalexandre Shmurrows" Tambellini looks to be the best fit, among healthy forwards, for the Sedins. Even before the breakaway goal, Tamby allowed the twins to play their game, retrieved pucks, used his speed to back defenders off, and read the play smartly. The line was visible all night. Tamby also made a pretty solid case for being on the shootout roster.

• Tamby's success up top also allowed Vigneault to roll some solid second and third lines, such as Jannik Hansen with Malhotra and Torres, a line that combined for the first, third and fourth goals. They were the best line on the ice tonight. Hansen and Malhotra were amazing like a double rainbow. I declare them the tandem that will give the third line it's identity for the rest of the season.

• Why not Torres? While he has excellent moments and definitely did in this game (in this game, a goal and a coupe nice hits), he often doesn't seem to know how to play with others, like Stampy. There were two odd-man rushes where he was so close to his linemate he neutralized any cross-ice pass, as well as spared the defenseman from having to take a man. Open up the ice, Raffi.

• Tambellini's success with the Sedins also allowed Vigneault to keep Kes, Ray, and Sammy, the rightful second line and producers of the second goal, intact. They're clearly still regaining their confidence, but they're beginning to be consistent. Want to see how stats are totally bogus? Prior to tonight, there was much ado about Ryan Kesler's lack of production. With tonight's goal, he has three points in his last four games. Please unpress your panic buttons.

• The fourth line looked excellent too, but primarily because Tanner Glass and Peter Schaefer skated on it exclusively.

• It's not all roses, though. While Mikael Samuelsson still shoots more often than Horatio Caine, too many are getting blocked or missing the net. He seems a little off. He needs to, uh, you know, fix that.

• I laughed out loud at Shorty and Garrett bickering over the tricky issue of mass nouns and the fewer vs. less debate. Turns out Shorty's a grammar nazi. Think he's a big enough loser to own (and, like me, cherish) a first pressing of Funk & Wagnalls Handbook of Synonyms, Antonyms, and Prepositions? We can only hope. For the curious: fewer is typically used for countable amounts, less for abstract amounts (i.e. fewer shots; less offense). Garrett was talking about games played, and thus should have used fewer.

• On the first powerplay of the game, Henrik Sedin took a slapshot, but he is such an innate passer that it turned into a crisp tape-to-tape pass to a Wild defender. Does he think he's Daniel? He wouldn't be the first guy to make that mistake. I know he scored 29 times last season, but Hank is not a shooter. I firmly believe he's going to reach 100 points this season without scoring a single goal.

• That said, he nearly had an awesome one on a 2-on-1 when he pulled off spin move on Greg Zanon and got in alone. It would have been absolutely perfect if Henrik had pulled it to the forehand after coming out of the spin. He had time. Not sure why Zanon was so completely bamboozled. All Henrik does is spin. He's like Cobb's totem.

• Hats off to the defense corps. They were great tonight, steady, dependable, smart. It's enough to forget Kevin Bieksa is amongst them. Seriously, though, Kevin Bieksa was really good tonight, apart from one ill-advised pinch which led to a two-on-one.

• Alex Edler has been good all season, and he was great tonight. Often times, he goes completely unnoticed, which is both an element of praise and a criticism. Edler has the ability to do more than he often does. Aaron Rome should be unnoticeable. Edler needs to do more things like this. He's the only D-man in the lineup who can make a pass like that.

• Great job by the penalty killers on the 5-on-3. The Dead Puck Era created more offense than Peter Schaefer does, but he really is excellent when you're a man down. He killed a ton of time on Minnesota's two man advantage, then drew a powerplay-ending penalty on Mikko Koivu later in the game. I just wish he'd use his knucklepuck more often.

• Anybody else see the two dudes jump-hugging on the Kesler goal? If there's one thing we at PITB are totally in favour of, it's public displays of dudehuggery. I think the preponderance of dudehuggery is secretly why men love hockey.

• The 2nd intermission had an excellent piece on one of PITB's all-time favourite Canucks, Cliff Ronning. My favourite moment was the last clip of the segment, which featured Ronning celebrating a goal in slow-motion by shouting "F***ing right!" Obviously, there was no sound, but there is no easier lipread in the English language. What a strange clip to use, but I shouldn't be surprised. Sportsnet makes some questionable choices with their intermission programming, such as putting Tony Gallagher in front of a camera.

• I'm going to assume Daniel Sedin is going to be given a belated assist on the Tambellini goal. He should, and I hope he does, primarily so his season-long point streak continues. Not since Frank the Tank has there been streaking of this magnitude.

• I would like to ban Mason Raymond from carrying the puck over the blue line on powerplays. He tries to go end to end, but usually loses the puck because he should have passed it off. Even at even-strength, Raymond needs to realize there are other passing options besides the defensemen. He seems to forget he has linemates--it's a hoedown of one. Only Colin Mochrie can thrive in such circumstances.

• This is PITB's 200th post, and we're feeling pretty good about it. We work hard on this stuff, and we'd like to thank everybody that's recognized and supported our efforts. You guys are awesome.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Wild, October 19, 2010

Canucks 2 - 6 Wild

So we watched this game, and when our eyes began to bleed, and we began to shout expletives at John Garrett, we realized that we might have anger management issues. I know I do. I'm still on a lengthy timeout from Settlers of Catan after what happened last time.

The Minnesota Wild bagskated through all of their issues, and may have created an unnecessary goaltending controversy by scoring six goals on a Canucks team that looked as out of sync as 'N Sync without Justin Timberlake. (He was the N. Look it up.) To be frank: the Canucks sucked quite hard tonight. Quite hard indeed. So let's get right into it.

• Rick Rypien is going to get hecka suspended. If you missed the game, here's what happened: After a fight with Brad Staubitz, Rypien tried to fight him again. Not sure why. He tagged Staubitz in the first fight, thereby making his point. When the refs broke up the second fight before it got started, Rypper kind of went insane. He took a cheap shot at Staubitz with the referees between them. Then, as he was being removed from the game, a couple of fans unwisely applauded. This is all they did, but Rypien went berserker on them (video above). The fans were removed for their part in the altercation (removed to other, better seats), but they didn't really do anything. In fact, the guy in the red shirt was just trying to protect his friend; neither guy instigated anything. Rypien has already been suspended indefinitely, pending review by the league. His only hope is that somebody commits a blindside hit to somebody else's head before the night is up, because that will steal all his suspension-thunder.
• Sidenote: suspension thunder is the name of the accessory holding my pants up. And Skeeter's electro-pop side project.
• Did we mention the Canucks were terrible tonight? Because oh my, yes, they were. Incredibly, in a 6-2 rout, only one Canuck was a minus-2. It was Ryan Parent, who looked a little like he should only play in a game when three top six defensemen are injured.
• As the team's official whipping boy, Bieksa is going to get flamed for everything, but he actually did not play poorly this evening. Neither did he play well, but nobody else did either, and it didn't help him that his partner, Ryan Parent, was the worst player on the ice. Bieksa will be especially vilified for his role in the Wild's fourth goal, where it appeared he was puck chasing in the defensive zone. However, he was merely covering up for Ryan Parent, who was floating in the neutral zone like a scoop of ice cream in a mug of root beer. (In this analogy, root beer is neutral, like Switzerland.)
• Skeeter would like to point out that three of the Wild goals came on the powerplay and do not figure in to the plus/minus statistic. The Wild powerplay, by the way, was remarkable. If it weren't so infuriating to watch, it might have been fun to watch.
• Holy smokes. John Garrett has huge ears. Skeeter's wife: "Those ears are 100 years old."
• There wasn't a goaltending controversy before tonight's game, and there probably still shouldn't be, but Roberto Luongo wasn't good tonight. In Vancouver, where the fans only remember the game prior to the one they just watched, Luongo suddenly looks like a zero and Cory Schneider suddenly looks like the hero Bonnie Tyler's been holding out for. It may not be an actual goaltender controversy, but the media is sure as Hell going to cover it like it is.
• Daniel Sedin is still on pace for 82 goals. He is also on pace for 82 games.
• Henrik Sedin is on pace for an assist every time Daniel scores a goal.
• As usual, the Sedins racked up points completely unrelated to what the rest of the team was doing. Henrik looked especially good on this Tanner Glassian spinorama. Is it just me, or is everybody on the Canucks suddenly doing this move? This may be Henrik's influence as captain. If Tanner Glass was captain, suddenly everybody would be unsuitable for the third line.
• Speaking of line combinations, I think it's safe to say that Raymond and the Sedins have run their course. Remember that we hated it from the start. Why a fence has been built between Samuelsson and his proper linemates is beyond us. But perhaps he can conquer it with love? Probably not. Love is just an abstract concept. It can't knock down stuff.
• Also: Peter Schaefer, in an abomination of Biblical proportions, started the game on the second line. Does nobody scroll to the bottom of our posts and read the labels? When will they learn!! Why can't you read the labels?!
• On the bright side tonight: Teletoon aired the Futurama pilot post-game, and it remains as excellent as the day it first aired. It also remains as timely, as its preponderance of suicide booths seem particularly appropriate after tonight's hockey game.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Hurricanes, October 17, 2010

Canucks 5 - 1 Hurricanes

A slump-bumper of snipery proportions. It was very snipe-ish.

Now that, my friends, is much better. I say "my friends," because I know our audience consists largely of close personal friends and select family members. We are, however, just 4 followers short of an even 100 on Twitter, which means some people we don't know must like us because Harrison and I don't have that many friends. Or family members.

In any case, the Canucks played a hockey game and, as per usual, I watched it.

• Alain Vigneault is going to get praise after this game for the success of his line-juggling, and it will be largely undeserved. The Sedins and Raymond were uninspiring as a line, though they did have their moments, such as Raymond's second goal. They still did not control the puck down low like the Sedins are capable of and Daniel had no shots on goal. It's no coincidence that Raymond's other two points on the night came in combination with Mikael Samuelsson. After Raymond, Kesler, and Samuelsson were one of the best lines in the entire NHL last season, it's shocking that AV hasn't put them together yet this year. That said, the Canucks got the breakout of secondary scoring they were looking for, which likely means we'll see these lines again next game.
• Kevin Bieksa is a high-risk, high-reward type of player. Friday night we saw all risk; tonight we saw all reward. He made excellent judgements all game and stepped up offensively when the time was right. One of those judgements led to Mikael Samuelsson's 3-0 goal, which also features likely the finest pass of Tanner Glass's career. It was, dare I say, of a quality usually reserved for third-line players.
• Apparently, Andrew Alberts has good hand-eye coordination. Who knew? He also added 5 hits and 3 blocked shots. Solid night's work from Andrew "Still Took a Minor Penalty" Alberts.
• The second line of Hansen, Kesler, and Tambellini was buzzing throughout the first period, though they weren't able to combine for a goal. Kesler did manage to hit a crossbar on a wide open net, though. Tambo might have earned himself a longer look on the second line, but he took two pretty dumb penalties as well.
• I still don't like having Kesler on the first-unit powerplay with the Sedins because it weakens the second-unit, but you couldn't tell from Mason Raymond's 2-0 goal. Mikael Samuelsson fools everyone by not shooting it immediately, which clearly confuses the Carolina penalty killers. Unsurprisingly, he was just hanging on to the puck so he could shoot it later. Like John McClane's gun, Samuelsson has two modes: shoot now and shoot later.
• Also of note on that goal, Jeff Tambellini's blind, between-the-legs back pass to set up Raymond. If he were Henrik Sedin, I would claim he did it entirely on purpose. Since he is not, I will point out, quite rightly, that he was just trying to get the puck to the front of the net. Either way, it worked and looked pretty.
• Kristin Reid, in the first intermission, referred to the current NHL cause as "Hockey Fights Canada," which would be a stunning heel turn akin to Hulk Hogan joining the NWO.
• Cory Schneider was fantastic in net, making every save look routine with his solid positioning and big body. He made 32 saves and was only beaten by a perfect shot from Patrick "Baby Boy" O'Sullivan.
• I love that Kesler scored (on a beautiful one-timer as seen above) to bump his goal-scoring slump, but I hate that he did it on the powerplay with the Sedins as it seemingly reinforces the idea of having him on the first-unit, which I am against. He and Raymond were brilliant together last year on the second-unit and without him, the second-unit has no identity.
• It appears that AV listened to my suggestion and moved Peter Schaefer to the fourth line. In fact, he played as the fourth-line centre. We might see him and Rypien trade off on that position until Bolduc gets healthy again. I like that we have a useful fourth line, as Schaefer and Glass were both effective in a penalty-killing role, aiding in a perfect 6-for-6 performance.
• The real star on the penalty kill was Manny Malhotra, who used the unorthodox method of getting two consecutive breakaways to help kill off a 5-on-3 powerplay in the third period. He was also a ridiculous 15-for-16 in the faceoff circle. 15-for-16! As the colour commentators are wont to say, holy jumping.
• It looks like Hamhuis and Bieksa are no longer the top defensive pairing, as Ehrhoff and Edler played the big minutes tonight. I am in favour of this. I like both Hammy and Juice a lot, but they played the part of the victims on Friday. Fans are quick to put the blame on Bieksa because he's the one who's most often chasing the puck in the defensive zone, but Hamhuis was also uncharacteristically out of position and unable to tie up opponents sticks last game. I'm much more comfortable with Ehrhoff and Edler as the top pairing.
• Aaron Rome, filling in for the injured Keith Ballard, was completely unnoticeable on the ice, despite playing over 15 minutes. This is a good thing.
• To sum up this game: no one played terribly and, while the Sedins were largely invisible in this game, they still combined for three points. The secondary scoring finally kicked in, with Raymond and Samuelsson picking up 3 points each, and Alberts, Raymond, Samuelsson, and Kesler all picked up their first goals of the year. Hopefully they can take this momentum on the road with them, where they haven't won in two attempts.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Sharks, September 28, 2010

I Watched This Game is a recurring feature on Pass it to Bulis, chronicling the insights and observations of two guys that watched a hockey game.

Know what I like to see? Antti Niemi losing. I also like to see a near-regular season lineup for the Canucks look so poised and ready for action. It was a solid performance all-around, but all eyes were on the fringe players, the ones doing their best to make the team. Players like Cody Hodgson, Jeff Tambellini, Tanner Glass, and Alexandre Bolduc. Here's what we saw tonight:

• Shorty attempted to nickname Rogers Arena "The Rog" before the game. I'm not sold. Perhaps "The Rog Mahal"?
• Teams should use duos or trios more often for the national anthem. Harmonies help fill out the sound and can cover up the occasional flat note.
• Cory Schneider answered all the questions that were raised after getting shellacked for 8 goals against Edmonton. It's amazing what he can do when he's not facing poorly defended 2-on-1s every single shift. John Garrett, who made his return to the broadcasting booth after Burrows was sent to the minors, pointed out that he has a reputation for bouncing back from weak performances; I don't know about that, but I'm sure he appreciated having an NHL-level defence in front of him. He made most of his saves simply by being sound positionally and controlling rebounds, though he moved well when necessary, especially on the penalty kill.
• Cody Hodgson started off well enough and didn't look out of place with Kesler and Raymond, but he was also nothing special. He managed to draw an early penalty and made a couple decent plays defensively, but he got demoted in the third period to the fourth line, while Torres skated on the second. He'll likely get one more chance with two pre-season games left, but it looks like he'll be starting off the season with the Moose, which is probably better for him. It's tough to lose an entire year of development.
• Jeff Tambellini, on the other hand, really improved his stock, scoring the Canucks third goal with a beautiful snap shot over Niemi's glove. It's his go-to shootout move and he showed that it works just as well on a 2-on-1. Also note, Jannik Hansen freeing up the puck for Tambellini with some strong work on the boards. The guy's got speed to burn and looked good enough on the fourth line that he got bumped up to the third line in the final period. He skated hard on the forecheck and definitely made a good argument for his versatility.
• While Tambellini showed off his great shot, Glass showed why he should never be on the third line, not by missing an open net, but by completely missing the puck with an open net. On the other hand, he did blow up Joe Pavelski with a big open-ice hit and stood up to Douglas Murray with a smile on his face afterwards, so he's plenty suited to the fourth line. Only the fourth line.
• Bolduc? He was merely okay. Nothing particularly stood out from him, which likely means he's Manitoba Moose-bound.
• That's that for the bubble players. The rest of the team was largely fantastic.
• I'm loving the look of the powerplay under new assistant coach Newell Brown. Every player on the ice is in motion, causing plenty of confusion to the penalty killers and opening up numerous shooting lanes. I have the feeling the Sedins will thrive under this system. It only led to one goal, a classic example of wizardous sedinerie, but it seemed to constantly bamboozle the Sharks' penalty killers and the second-unit looked just as good.
• Bieksa had a strong game skating with Dan Hamhuis. The two seem well-suited together, especially on the penalty kill, though it could just be that Hamhuis is so damn good that it doesn't matter who he's paired with. He could be paired with Taylor Ellington and I'd be praising Ellington for having a great game. Actually, that's extremely unlikely. Never mind. In any case, Bieksa hit hard, created offense, and limited his mistakes. That's all I ask of him.
• Mason Raymond's goal, in the video at the top of this post, is all sorts of beautiful, roofing a backhand while making Dan Boyle look extremely silly. Lovely. It was a great shift for the entire line, including some nice work from Bieksa.
• Jannik Hansen has solidified his spot on the third line, in my mind. He was great with Manny Malhotra on the penalty kill, forechecked effectively, and drew an interference call in the third period just by skating hard and keeping his feet moving.
• I'm still not seeing enough from Raffi Torres. He threw a few hits and managed an effective cycle with Kesler and Raymond in the third period, but he was mostly invisible and seemed to stay on the perimeter. He was the only minus player for the Canucks in this game. One of the main criticisms he has faced throughout his career is inconsistency, so I'm hopeful he'll be better in the regular season. Quite frankly, as a third-line winger, he just needs to be competent most nights and chip in some scoring when possible. But if he's asked to fill in on the top-six with Burrows out, he'll need to be better.
• How nice was it to see a hipcheck from Ballard? So nice. He absolutely obliterated Wallin against the boards. Speaking of hitting, it was good to see Edler continuing his physical play from last year's playoffs. He had a nice solid hit on Setoguchi in the first period and wasn't afraid to engage physically in his own end. I'm thinking this could be a big season from the blond wonder.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Ducks, September 25, 2010

I Watched This Game is a recurring feature on Pass it to Bulis!, chronicling the observations and insights of some guys who watched a hockey game.

Every now and then I'll hear a Canucks fan gripe that the game they just watched wasn't very good. Not that the Canucks didn't play well, or even that the other team didn't--simply, it wasn't a very good game. If you hear somebody say that, chances are the Canucks lost the game and the analysis is dripping in fan disappointment and bias. I have never watched a Canucks game where they've won and thought, "That wasn't a very good game." If the Canucks win, it's good. But if they lose? Well, maybe, outcome aside, I just wasn't entertained. Yeah, right. We all know that if a game failed to entertain us, it's because we lost. I say this because I found the last two preseason games really uninspiring. I found this one quite exciting. Surprise, surprise, we lost those two and we won this one.

Now, there were other factors. The Ducks are a mean unit of big, dumb goons and Anaheim-Vancouver tilts are always spirited. That this one took place in the preseason, when everybody seems meaner and dumber was an added bonus. Plus, watching the Canucks beat the Ducks will always fill me with glee, as I'm still sore over their playoff series in 2007, which the Canucks would have won if they'd passed it to Bulis more often. Anyway. Let's get into the stuff I noticed.

• Jim Hughson, early in the game: "Their third line is out. Alex Bolduc, with Tanner Glass..." Does anybody listen to me? I don't care that the Canucks essentially dressed two fourth lines tonight. Under no circumstances should Glass ever be on the third line. Haven't you seen how I tag my posts? When will we learn? When!?
• I love the new Canucks power play. The way that everybody's in motion, the passing lanes that open up... I know the power play was decent last season, but at times it seemed really static and predictable. This new machine seemed tailor-made for a strong passing team like the Canucks.
• Early on, after an especially strong shift, I wrote "Morrison wants it bad." After that, I added an exclamation point every time I noticed him doing something awesome on the ice. At the end of the night, my notebook looked like this. "Morrison wants it bad!!!!!!!!!" Suffice it to say, he had a great game. I've been a little concerned that fans want him on the team for his niceness rather than his goodness, but he was very good tonight, and may have earned his contract. Gillis's post-game comments sounded encouraging.
• Darcy Hordichuk and George Parros have a pretty good little thing going, don't they? They make a living fighting each other, and they know it. Parros is really something. It's incredible that a guy who has a degree in economics from Princeton University, and wrote his senior thesis on the West Coast longshoremen's labour dispute chooses to make a living punching Darcy Hordichuk and having a moustache.
• My wife keeps hearing Jeff Tambellini as Jeffrey Tambor. Think that if he gets put on waivers, he claims he was set up by the British?
• Jonas Hiller's mask is awesome. It really does look like he spray-painted it himself, as Ji Hughson suggested.
• Hughson on Joel Perrault: "He's trying to win himself a job and he just ran into his winger."
• What sort of cruel joke is it that, in the only game Burrows isn't calling, Koivu gets called for a blatant slewfoot?
• Daniel Sedin scored on a slapshot, then tries another one right after. Daniel slapping the puck? Sounds a lot like he might be OUT. FOR. BLOOD.
• Luongo was incredible tonight. Made some enormous saves, looked big, got across his crease well, validated the early work of Rollie Melanson that's been getting so much press. He deserved the shutout, but Ian Walker jinxed it. Look at this timeline! 9:15, Walker says shutout. 9:18, Josh Green scores. That is bogus. Ian Walker, if this wasn't the preseason, I might march over to your house and trample your azaleas.
• I have been loving Andrew Alberts this preseason. He seems to make a big hit almost every shift and he's limiting his mistakes. Underrated battle: him and Shane O'Brien for that sixth spot. The more I think about it, the more I think Shane O'Brien might be the guy on the way out. Everything he does well, someone else does better.
• Other guys that looked good: Jordan Schroeder, Peter Schaefer, Guillaume Desbiens, and most of the veterans. The Sedins were wonderful as usual, and I thought Dan Hamhuis and Christian Ehrhoff were incredible tonight, Hamhuis especially.
• Other guys that looked less good: Chris Tanev was invisible and I thought Evan Oberg was the only guy who really played badly tonight. I have pinpointed exactly 2:30 into the second period--when he shied away from taking a hit and sheepishly turned the puck over in the defensive zone--as the exact moment he got himself cut.
• Finally, Luongo blockered away a lazy blooper from center ice and the audience looed. We got a bad rap last year for looing some really mundane saves, and this one, in a preseason game, was among the worst I've seen. Let's save the looing for loo-worthy saves, please? We're like the Double Rainbow guy with our exuberance.
• How unimportant is the outcome in these preseason games? Well, I watched every second of this one and, most of the time, had no idea what the score was.

Every Goal, Forward Edition: the Guys with Four Goals or Less

Demitra: Did you see that? Two between-the-legs moves in a row!
Wellwood: Ho ho ho! Golly, that was nifty.
Demitra: We didn't score, but we're satisfied with the skills we've showcased!

Welcome back to the Every Goal series, a nearly exhaustive compendium of every goal the Canucks scored last season, player by player, in chronological order. There are two days left in this beast. Today, we cover the forwards who scored four goals or less as a Canuck last season in descending order: Rick Rypien (4), Tanner Glass (4), Pavol Demitra (3), and the one-goal guys--Darcy Hordichuk, Matt Pettinger, and Ryan Johnson.

Most of these guys deserve to be here. They're the muckers, the grinders, the six minutes a night guys, with the exception of Pavol Demitra. Consider that I've been railing against Glass being used as a third-liner at times last season, but he outscored Pavol Demitra. Injuries be damned, my friends--that is unacceptable. Nucks Misconduct has been touting a Demitra-free existence since July 1, and I have to admit I like breathing the Vancouver air knowing I'm not sharing it with Pavol Demitra. To be fair, he had his moments in Vancouver, but seemingly none of them came while wearing a Vancouver jersey and that's infuriating. Part of me thinks the Demo nickname is more appropriate now that we know Vancouver got the limited demo version of Pavol (hence, why this didn't amount to anything), and the Slovaks got the fully licensed, unlocked version. In the future, Gillis, let's steer clear of shareware. On to the forwards.

Rick Rypien

1. Oct. 16 vs. the Calgary Flames
Rypien's first of the season comes on a feed from Henrik. He comes out from behind the net and then wires a wrist shot, top corner, over Kiprusoff. It's a gorgeous shot. Credit to Henrik, who gets the puck to him with a ton of space to do something.

2. Nov. 3 vs. the New York Rangers
Rypien here is the beneficiary of some incredible work by Ryan Kesler, who enters the zone 1-on-3, dumps the puck in, gets it back, and controls it along the boards before finding Rypien sneaking in. Kesler makes a beautiful pass, and Rypien finishes.

3. Jan. 5 vs. the Columbus Blue Jackets
Rypien rips (pun!) a slapshot past Steve Mason in this clip and it's a bullet. The real story here is Kyle Wellwood's weak little saucer pass, however, as it hops over the defender's stick and then just lays there, waiting for the Rypper to tear into it.

4. Apr. 10 vs. the Calgary Flames
Credit here to Adam Pardy, who does some terrible defensive work, gets beat and loses his stick in Matt Pettinger's legs. The play becomes a 2-on-1, and Pettinger walks in before feeding it to Rypien directly in front of Kiprusoff. Rypien's four goals show he's actually got a pretty good shot, and here he puts it to good use. The guy isn't much of a playmaker, but he actually can finish if he's set up.

Tanner Glass

Tanner Glass, upon realizing that, against all reason, he's skating on the third line tonight.

1. Nov. 1 vs. the Colorado Avalanche (at 1:51 of clip)
Glass scores on a 2-on-1 with Kyle Wellwood by keeping, shooting, and having the puck bank off the defenseman, which is the textbook play, really.

2. Nov. 14 vs. the Colorado Avalanche
Glass's goal is the eighth of the game for the Canucks, so everything was going in for them. That's likely why Glass scores. He shows good strength with the puck here, coming out from behind the net, fighting off his man, and putting it low on the short side.

3. Nov. 26 vs. the Los Angeles Kings (at 5:37 of clip)
Don't believe Shorty's call here. It's Glass that scores, although Wellwood does most of the work, stealing the puck in the neutral zone and feeding Glass. After Quick makes the save, Glass pokes the rebound home.

4. Nov. 28 vs. the Edmonton Oilers
Glass's shows good tenacity on his fourth goal of the season, coming out from behind the net for a shot, then picking up his own rebound and roofing it. I'm not a huge fan of Tanner Glass. Yes, he dished out many hits, but not very good hits, and he didn't bring much else. This despite a number of games where he skated, inexplicably and poorly, on the third line, thereby causing Kyle Wellwood to have to sign a tryout contract with Phoenix. All this said, however, I would have Tanner Glass in November. He scored four goals last season, all in November.

Pavol Demitra

1. Feb. 6 vs. the Boston Bruins
Demitra's first of only three goals last season was a big one. Down late in the third period, he tips this Tanner Glass shot home to tie the game. My favourite part of this clip? Kyle Wellwood, looking hapless. That's him tripping over a Bruin in the corner of the frame on every replay.

2. Mar. 2 vs. the Columbus Blue Jackets
Maybe it's just me, but it seems like everybody on the roster scored a goal on Steve Mason last year. He's just looked terrible in these clips all through the Every Goal series. Anyway, here he is getting beat by a Demitra wrister off a rebound. My favourite thing about this clip? Mikael Samuelsson's interference to give Demo the room to get to this this puck and shoot it. He had body position, but still, it just looks so blatantly like interference.

3. Apr. 8 vs. the San Jose Sharks
Here we have another beautiful yet largely-forgotten piece of wizardous sedinerie, as Henrik and Daniel pull off a give-and-go along the boards. Daniel's no-look, between-the-legs back-pass to Henrik is downright effortless. From there, Henrik feeds Demitra, who makes a nice shot to score the goal. This is a tight angle shot that Demitra absolutely kills.

Darcy Hordichuk
Darcy Hordichuk, after winning a fight with the puck.

1. Nov. 5 vs. the Minnesota Wild
Darcy Hordichuk's only goal of last season comes on a dreadful botched breakout, as Derek Boogaard fails to receive a simple pass, and the puck squirts out to Hordy instead. He slaps the puck past Backstrom. Glen Sather, upon seeing this goal, immediately circled Boogaard's name on his must-sign list.

Matt Pettinger

1. Nov. 5 vs. the Minnesota Wild
Can you believe Matt Pettinger scored his only goal of the season in the same game as Darcy Hordichuk? How odd. Anyway, this one comes off a pretty terrible angle, and banks in off of Backstrom. That's two goals the Wild shouldn't have allowed, both to the Canucks' fourth line. Yes, they lost the game. I love the look on Hordichuk's face when he's on the ice for a goal. It's like, "OMG YOU GUYS WOW." He's genuinely shocked not to be in the minuses.

Ryan Johnson

1. Mar. 18 vs. the San Jose Sharks
What's incredible to me about Ryan Johnson is that, while he rarely scored, the ones he potted weren't easy. This goal is a prime example. Johnson shows speed, stickhandling ability, and quick hands to get to that rebound. This goal is another example. It's a shame this Ryan Johnson only showed up about once a season. Farewell, Balls. You will be missed, just like when you played for us.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Flames, September 21, 2010

Some highlights from the game we didn't watch.

I Watched This Game is a recurring feature on Pass it to Bulis!, chronicling the observations and insights of some guys who watched a hockey game.

Tonight was a slow-burning torture for two diehard Canuck fans like Skeeter and I, and not because the Canucks lost two games concurrently. Rather, because we knew that, the whole time we were watching them play, we were also missing them play somewhere else. The reason this was so painful is because we have spent the entire summer waiting for a Canucks hockey game, only to miss a Canucks hockey game as soon as one occurred. To wit: it's like those old-school popsicles that were actually two popsicles, and while you're eating one as fast as you can, the other is melting in your hand. Let's move on to the game. The one that we watched. The one played in Calgary. The one shown on television.

We watched that game. We watched it hard. Here is what we observed:

• Jannik Hansen was outstanding in the first period and invisible for most of the rest of the game. Perhaps he misread the calendar in the dressing room and thought the 2nd period was in October? The goal he scored was pretty nice, though. Tambellini made a nifty back-pass to give Hansen the yawning cage, and he didn't disappoint. He also didn't disappoint in his intermission interview, in which he sounded and looked like a baby bird clamoring for a mother bird to vomit worms into his mouth.
• Tanner Glass was on the powerplay, which is almost inexcusable, but better there than the third line.
• Marco Rosa looked pretty good and played a solid two-way game. His defensive work was overshadowed by his wrap-around goal and the stickwork he did to get himself there. I saw a couple other dangles as well. Did I forget about this guy in my centers that could make the 4th line post? Probably not. I'm very thorough, and he doesn't have a contract with the Canucks. That means he'll have to outplay Brendan Morrison to get one. Unlikely.
• Shorty: "There's a problem with the Glass in the Canucks zone." At least he's not on the third line.
• Eddie Lack was outstanding tonight. He earned first star honours in only two periods of play. His positioning was solid and his size did the rest. The Stork, as he is nicknamed, brought a bundle of joy to our hearts.... I just fired myself.
• Underrated preseason battle: Alex Burrows vs. John Garrett for the color man job. Garrett better watch it, or he'll be riding the bus in Victoria.
• Glass was decent on the penalty kill, which is a much better place for him than, say, the third line.
• Joel Perrault didn't really do much tonight. That's unfortunate, as he was on the top line, and he's supposed to be fighting for that fourth-line center spot. He's already losing the battle of goodwill to B-Mo. He might need to lose some teeth and doctor his birth certificate so it looks like he's from Pitt Meadows or something. Skeeter: "Are you saying people from Pitt Meadows don't have teeth?" Me: "Not the ones I've dated." Gimme some!
• Andrew "Give Us Barabbas" Alberts and Shane "Pain Lion" O'Brien both had good games tonight, and it wasn't just because all the other NHL defencemen weren't in the lineup. Keith Ballard was there, and he was kind of awful tonight. It was a sobering performance which is good, because there were beers aplenty and someone had to drive home. He was especially bad on the Backlund goal, where he backchecked like Todd Bertuzzi and skated about as fast as, well, me. Which is to say, deceptively slow.
• Tanner "Anywhere But on the Third Line" Glass has a nice mullet. Also: he shouldn't play on the third line.
• Darcy Hordichuk played like a man possessed tonight. Sadly, a man possessed with a spirit. Not with skill. He played like it was the playoffs, but fought the puck like it was George Parros. He had an opportunity with a wide-open net, on a rebound, and put it wide. Also: he hits like Tanner Glass (who, in case you're skimming, has fourth-line potential only.)
• I've liked what I've been hearing about Adam Polasek leading up to this game, but I definitely didn't like his brutal misplay on a cross-ice pass that let Jarome Iginla walk in and score the game-winner on poor, defenseless Tyler Weiman.
• Raffi Torres apparently scored a goal in the other Canucks-Flames game. I sincerely hope he makes that third line, because it might stop Tanner Glass from doing so.